Auntie Jane's Musings

Me & My Op….

2009-04-20T18:37:00.001+01:00

Well folks, I got back from the hospital a short while ago. I had to go for a Pre- Assessment walk-through.

They took more blood from my arm than I can afford to give! The nurse explained what would happen. Apparently they were hoping to use key-hole surgery, but not now. So I’ll be in for about a week as they are going to have a good look around and cut out all the damaged part in my tummy.

Apparently, all my problems stem from 1985 when I had radio therapy. In those days they used to give you three times as much as you needed. But looking on the bright side, I was very lucky they found this cancerous little lump nestling behind my womb when they spayed me… I mean I had a hysterectomy. If I hadn’t, it wouldn’t have shown up and I’d be dead by now!!!

It is over the last five plus years that I’ve had the most trouble. After this operation, I should be able to build up my appetite and hopefully I will be able to put some weight on. This should give me more energy… May be I’ll be able to find my brain cells that have gone walk-about lately!

Unfortunately, this operation will do nothing for my Diverticulitis, but I should be able to control it better afterwards.

I am going in on Wednesday afternoon. Thursday will be spent clearing me right out! Yuk… I hate going through that, but it will be easier to handle when in the hospital. Then I’m going under the knife on Friday… So fingers crossed folks. I’ll miss you all while I’m away from the internet.

So don’t expect any updates here till I get home after it’s all over.

I’ll be so busy tomorrow… I have to get my things ready to take in with me… Nighties, slippers and wash things.

We also have the decking wood being delivered tomorrow. Then the people are coming on Wednesday to saw the decking and put it round the edge of the pool.

We also have Sky TV etc., being delivered on Wednesday morning. I just hope the man comes before I have to leave for the hospital!

I am not expecting Dave to visit much, what with having High Definition Sky TV and another Grand Prix F1 next weekend! He’ll be too busy playing around. At least he’ll have complete control of the remote while I’m away… I just hope he doesn’t break it before I get home!

You know I said yesterday that he broke our Dyson Animal vacuum cleaner? Well, Chris fixed it so I don’t have to call the man out! I wonder how many other things he’ll break before I get home?

The pool heater is up and running now… Sid the man, finished the work off this morning.

My biggest worry while I’m away is my dogs. I know Chris is here to care for them, but I will miss them so. And Jade will miss me… she always does. I’ll telephone each morning to make sure they are fed and let out… Then again each evening to make sure they have their tea!

Bye for now folks… You all take care of yourselves.

A Busy Week…

2009-04-19T15:27:00.001+01:00

After the visit to the surgeon at King’s Lynn hospital last Monday, followed by the visit to the vet to have the girl’s stitches out, the place has been full of people and other dogs.

A friend Jan has moved up here to Holbech with her four German Shepherds. They visited us and had a good game in the garden. Trevor, our gardener, has been up and mowed the lawn and Pete has done some more work on the pool. Sid the electrician turned up to wire the pool heating element up properly and another friend Brian turned up.

Brian and his late wife Jill, have been friends for years. We met them at dog shows and training. He used to be a top class carpenter but he’s got bad rheumatism now and can’t do the work he used to. But if Chris helps him, he’ll sort the wooden boarding out to go round the top of the pool for us. They want to also build some steps up the side of the pool with wood treads.

Mean while, it seems the phone hasn’t stopped ringing. Mother dear has spent ages talking to someone on it. Apparently, she is arranging to have Sky TV installed with the HD box.

She says they all argue enough about which channels to watch already. It will be like WW3 with more channels! But apparently, she can watch one channel and record two others… That’s if she can work out how to use the box. She never got to grips with the DVD recorder she’s had for ages!

She’s also having and extra Sky+ box for her bedroom! Actually, it will go in the conservatory when she’s got it cleared of all the stuff in it. It is still full of her mother and father’s things she brought home after they died a couple of years ago.

More Phone Calls… The hospital also rang… Could mother dear go into hospital next Friday for her operation. She can come in the evening before. But to come up on Monday for a Pre-Operation talk. All this was followed by a letter. Apparently she had another hospital appointment at Wisbech on Monday about the pins in her femur… Just a check up.

King’s Lynn didn’t think they could get mother dear’s notes back up to them, so they cancelled the Wisbech appointment for her. Mother dear suggested she bring the notes up with her… But apparently, that’s not allowed! How silly. They are her notes.

Back to Sky TV… Mother dear has weighed up the odds and is going to not only get Sky TV, but also change her ISP and phone over to Sky Broadband too. She’s a bit worried it won’t all go smoothly. No way does she want to be without Internet access.

I must add that with all the activity this last week, mother dear has suffered quite a bit. She’s been bad in the middle of the night, first thing in the mornings and again, in the evenings. She’s spent more time than usual in the bathroom and hasn’t felt like writing anything. She says she just can’t think straight half the time. I think it’s lack of food as she hasn’t been eating at all well.

If you have Sky TV and Broadband and have any advice, please leave a comment below.

Housework… Mother dear may have mentioned a couple of times that she doesn’t like housework. It always seems like a never ending job. She’d rather take us out for a walk or a game. She’s been feeling very guilty when reading friend’s blogs about all the housework and clearing out her friends have been doing, she’s now arranged for some help!

Her friend Jan, who’s just moved up here, is looking for work. She’s going to come and help mother dear get her place sorted out. Then she’ll come once or twice a week to keep it tidy for her. Chris is good and does vacuum the sitting room, but he doesn’t do the dusting or the bedrooms. Daddy dear can’t be trusted not to break something, so mother dear won’t let him dust!

This morning, daddy dear got the vacuum out and began to Hoover. Then there was a funny noise. Mother dear yelled to him turn it off… He’s broken the Dyson Animal some how. I expect she’ll have to call the man out now… Luckily, she has insurance to pay for call-outs on the Dyson washing machine and Dyson vacuum cleaner. So it’s safer not to let daddy dear touch anything… or it has to be repaired!

She hates him cooking now. The other day she found a tea towel and a cardboard TV meal cover on the hob with the hob on! She screamed at him and forbade him from using the cooker again… On the grounds of safety. He does try to do things for himself… but she says he’s very trying! Now she watches him if he goes into the kitchen and not straight through to another room.

If he empties the dishwasher, she can never find anything as he never puts any back where it belongs… Or he stacks different sized plates things on top of each other. This really annoys her!

Back From The Vets…

2009-04-14T18:24:00.001+01:00

As I said below, I had to take the girls up to the vets to have their stitches out.

Why do I have dogs that go mad with excitement as soon as you walk them through the surgery door? Another dog was sitting down with her owner shaking like a leaf and there was a cat in its carrying cage.

Kate went to say hello to the dog and Jazz pulled to say hello to the owner of the cat. Then they both jumped up at the counter to say hello to the vet nurses.

Neither Titch nor Jade were happy to be left in the car. They had wanted to come in too! Of course it could be that I am always armed with titbits when we are in a vets!

Jazz went to say hello to the little Corgi cross that Kate had greeted when we walked in. The Corgi wasn’t so keen on Jazz and growled at her! Poor Jazz. She doesn’t have a mean streak in her. She was most surprised.

Mind you I’m not that keen on letting my dogs get too close to other dogs in a surgery… After all, they are there for a reason and one never knows if the other dog has an infectious something or other!

Anyway… We were soon called into the surgery for removal of the stitches. In the past, I have always removed any stitches at home, but these only had one knot and were woven in and out of the wound. I couldn’t see how it would pull them all out in one go, so I left it for the vet.

Silly me…! What I didn’t realise was that you just cut the knot off. You don’t pull anything out! Must be a new way of stitching up.

The reason I like to do it at home is that you can catch the dog relaxing and laying down on its back waiting for a tummy tickle. There is no stress that way. I have a pair of special scissors to remove stitches, and a clamp like pair of scissors to pull the stitches out. But they weren’t bothered when the vet did it… but were a bit wriggly as they wanted cuddles!

When we got to our lane, Chris got the dogs out of the back and walked them home along the field. It’s the first proper walk Jazz and Kate have had because of their operations. Luckily, they weren’t that interested in racing each other, just sniffing the hedgerow.

Lefy: Titch and Chris.

Below: Titch, Jade and Katie with Chris.

Below & Right: Chris with the dogs in our lane.

Left: Katie running towards me with the others still sniffing around in the lane.

I took the top two photos out of the car window – I was stationary at the time - as I drove the car on to our bungalow. Parked up and walked back into the lane to get the dogs coming home.

I am on cloud nine still. I am just so happy that at last someone is going to try and do something for me. After the operation, I can hopefully go out and eat a proper sized meal and enjoy it with no fear of bringing it up sometime later!

There are – obviously - no promises from the surgeon, but I can at least hope and pray that removing this constriction somewhere in my tummy, I will – hopefully – no longer get these awful swollen tummies which can get very painful and incredibly uncomfortable. They stop me eating. May be afterwards, I will be able to put some weight on.

I do wish I was a chocolate eater or had a sweet tooth! Dave bought me several Easter eggs which are just sitting there. Anyone want some?

Another Hectic Day…

2009-04-14T15:55:00.001+01:00

Letter in the post this morning. An appointment for me up at King’s Lynn hospital at 2.25 this afternoon. When I got there, I found there had been a cancelation and they had slipped me in.

The appointment was with the surgeon to see if can do anything to help me with my problems. After chatting and explaining my situation he said he’d have look and see if he can do anything.

He is trying to get me into be operated on next week, or in May. I am so happy. At last someone is going to try and do something for me.

He can’t help the Diverticulitis but he wants to do something about this constriction I have. Hopefully, I’ll be able to eat a proper meal after that. Oh boy, would I like to be able to put some weight on. I am 6 stone (40.5kg) now, and have been for ages.

Woo Hoo… I am so pleased. I just had to share with you my good news!

Now I have to put the girls (Jazz & Kate), into the car and take them up to the vet for their appointment to have their stitches out. Both of their scars have healed up nicely.

Important Government message

2009-04-14T11:04:00.001+01:00

Dear Recipient,
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of the economy, your Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers 50 years of age and older on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the government to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once,
SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the government deems appropriate.

Only persons who have been RAPED can get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously, persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the government.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on, will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible.

The government has always prided itself in the amount of SHIT it gives out. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your local MP. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely,
The Government (YOUR Government)

This would be funny if it wasn’t so true.

Dearly Beloved is Home Now…

2009-04-13T19:21:00.001+01:00

Daddy dear in hospital yesterday.

Mother Dear got home from visiting Daddy Dave in the hospital last night and began to feel rotten a couple of hours later. She went to go into her bedroom to get undressed and was suddenly sick. I have no idea why? She is sick sometimes, due to this constriction she has, but it never comes on that suddenly. She always gets a warning. She managed to grab a bowl she keeps by her bed…

I stayed with her though I was not happy she’d gone up on her own to see him. She says she hates to have to leave me alone in the car in case the car and me get stolen. She’s paranoid about this nowadays. I used to go everywhere with her. She never left me behind as I am happy just to wait in the car.

Anyway, she was – yet again – late actually going to bed. She said she couldn’t get to sleep. She got up around 7.30am and gave us our breakfast then went back to bed and fell fast asleep. The phone rang at ten and she jumped up with a start. It had woken her up. It was daddy dear saying he thought he’d be allowed out in the evening. He’d ring again after he’d seen the doctor.

Mother dear ran a bath around eleven and as soon as she got in, the phone rang! Typical… She found it was daddy dear after she’d got out, so she phoned him back.

He told her that he could come home and she could collect him at five. He also told her that she’d have to put a gown and gloves on to collect him. She couldn’t just walk into the ward as she had the evening before.

Apparently the hospital is very worried about a bug that’s going round the hospital. Mother dear said she’d seen a notice in the main entrance saying there was sickness and diarhorea. They didn’t want to move daddy dear out of the MAU ward because of it. That’s why he could come home.

Mother dear took me with her to collect him. By now, and after another couple of phone calls, it was arranged that daddy dear would wait for her by the entrance after getting a porter to wheel him down. He was in fact, waiting in the doorway when we got there.

We were ten minutes late. First of all she found her mobile battery was flat, so she plugged it in for five minutes, hoping there was an in-car charger in the car. There was as it turned out. Then for some unknown reason the A14 had a great deal of traffic on it. It took five minutes to get out of our side road on to it. Then it was 30 to 40mph all the way along till we got to King’s Lynn and the hospital.

Mother dear said it was lucky we were only ten minutes late!

It was nice to see daddy dear. He was pleased to see me and gave me a cuddle.

Mother dear took a couple of photos of daddy dear in the hospital yesterday. He wanted to show you a big bruise he got when a nurse gave him an injection. It really hurt, he said.

The Bruise.

This is an Easter egg the nurses gave everyone except the people who were Diabetic. How he managed to get one, mother dear doesn’t know.

But she took it home with her last night to make sure he didn’t eat it!

What a Week…

2009-04-11T22:46:00.001+01:00

Last week was spent doing the swimming pool with Pete’s help. Chris worked with him.

They had stuck the liner around the sides. Here they are discussing laying the felt on the bottom.

It went in quite easily. Behind Pete, there is some coving that Dave said had to go round the the pool underneath the final skin.

Needless to say, after getting everything sorted and the new skin put on, it wouldn’t lay flat and tight. All the coving had to be removed and then the new skin fitted well !

Here you can see that the bottom isn’t laying flat at all!

Dave isn’t really helping… But – bless him – he thinks he is! He is at least trying.

I took over as it was easier if someone held the weight of the liner up so Pete could tuck it in.

Needless to say, it all had to come out to take the coving out. Then it all lay flat.

No… we don’t keep a chair in the pool! Pete is screwing in the drain covering and used it for his tools as we had to have a little water covering the bottom of the pool.

Note it is now all laying flat, thank goodness. He had welly boots on but his hands were freezing. The water was very cold.

Here’s Dave in his usual position of watching the others working.

It took ages to fill up the pool, but it’s all done now. Just waiting for the electrician to come next week to fix the heating up for us.

The heater has to sit outside the poly tunnel so that air circulates.

You can see the pipes that lead into the tunnel. On instructions from Dave (the supervisor), Pete and Chris stuck all the pipes into their respective elbows with glue. There are several inside the tunnel. They cost 75p through the internet… Then the water pump was switched on.

It turned out that Dearly Beloved had told Chris and Pete wrong and the sand from the filter was flowing back into the pool. Chris had to take all the pipe work apart and redo it all. The elbows cost £2.50 in the local shop and there are about 6 or 8 of them. Again, Dave is lucky to have survived till Easter. I could - yet again - have strangled him on behalf of Chris and Pete!

Dave Has Survived Till Today…

He’s been fine for a good few day… Weeks even. But he’s been a little ‘high’, in my opinion, over the last few days. I am sure it’s when his sugar levels are high (he’s insulin dependant Diabetic). He drives me up the wall when he’s like that… Singing (out of tune), dropping things and not concentrating on anything you try to say to him.

Last night I tried to sort his PC out. He was having trouble with some emails. It’s not easy sorting out a PC when someone is breathing down your neck and saying “I’ve done that… and that… What are you trying to do now?” And a whole lot more… I lost it and got up and said “Fix it yourself!” Then went to my bedroom for an early night.

I’ve had a bad tummy on and off for the last week. That’s why I haven’t written a blog up. I just haven’t been able to concentrate.

Dave was up first this morning. Well, he wasn’t up first. I had been up for a couple of hours and made a coffee and fed the dogs and let them out. But I then went back into my bedroom and rested. Around ten I went through to the living room to find Dave having a little trouble breathing. He’s been coughing quite a lot lately. He does get phlegm on his chest. It put him in hospital last January.

I watched him. He was rather short of breath. He had a tightness across his chest, but he was nowhere near as bad as he has been. I popped into my bedroom and took my tablets (to bind me), and put him in the car and drove him up to A & E. They saw him straight away. I think I was right to drive him straight up. The hospital is 20 minutes away. An ambulance can take over half an hour to get to us sometimes. I would have dialed 999 if he had any chest pains or needed oxygen. He’s had that many Angina attacks, we both know when it’s serious.

I keep his over-night bag at the ready as I know - sooner or later – he’ll have a trip to hospital. All I had to gather was his prescription list of tablets and his tablets and insulin.

After running some tests on him and taking bloods, then an X-Ray, they decided to keep him in and sent him to MAU (Medical Assessment Unit) ward. I came home.

Around 7.00pm I got a phone call… ‘Please could I bring his glasses up and his Ipod.’ I had just put some food on to eat. Never mind… I can eat when I got home later. I got Chris to drive me up.

Here he is sitting on the side of his bed looking a great deal better than he had this morning. They are keeping him in for a day or two so they can check his bloods every 12 hours.

He had been chatting away to a lovely elderly lady in the next bed. Her husband who is 94, and her son were visiting. We had them laughing with me threatening Dave that he should behave himself because I wanted to go home and have some rest with him safe in hospital… I did not want to be driving up and down to King’s Lynn a couple of times a day!

I got hoime and had a little rice and chicken to eat, then wrote this.

So I am off to bed now. It’s been a hectic day.

Update on the Girls…

2009-04-01T12:57:00.001+01:00

Mother dear bundled us all in the car yesterday morning. We thought we were going for a long walk together as Chris was with us. Instead, we drove to the vets.

Admittedly MD had taken me in last week. I don’t know why? I just got cuddles from the staff in the reception area as she chatted away. Turns out she was booking my two daughters in to be spayed the next week.

So we drove off down the lane and dropped the girls off. Then on the way home, we (me and Titch), got out of the car with MD and walked round the large field having a good sniff in the hedges while Chris drove on home.

Around lunchtime, MD left me and Titch at home as she was going to collect the girls.

Oh dear… they do feel sorry for themselves. Katie was far more alert but Jazz just lay on the settee where Chris had put her after carrying her from the car. MD sat beside her cuddling her. That’s why she wrote up her blog yesterday and not me. I couldn’t get near the keyboard!

Katie lay getting cuddles from Chris on his chair. Titch and I felt a little left out… But hay ho! We got a nice walk earlier and they didn’t!

MD woke us up at 4.30am. Her tummy was playing up. I expect it was because she had worried about the girls and Titch’s problems over the weekend. Any stress always affects her tummy. She took some tablets after checking on Jazz and Kate, then went back to bed to get some more sleep.

Chris was first up in the morning and gave us all our breakfast. Pain killer tablets also given to the girls and other tablets given to Titch because of his upset tum at the weekend. Everyone, except me and Chris, appears to live on tablets in this house!

My goodness, the girls are feeling very sorry for themselves this morning. Neither being strong enough to eat on their own, so they were hand fed! Talk about molly-coddling them!

Katie wants cuddles but would also like to go into the main garden and have a Frisbee thrown for her! I ask you? I told her she can’t have it both ways. Jazz just lays there looking very sorry for herself.

Both have managed a widdle this morning. The sun is out now and it’s a lovely day so they are both lying out on the patio in the sun. Chris and Pete are working in the pool. Kate likes to be near where he is. Jazz is lying by the conservatory door. They are both behaving and not licking their wounds so MD hasn’t put the buster collars on them. They don’t know how lucky they are.

We have a very large crate but there’s been no need to put that up either as both girls are behaving and keeping still or just waddling to a spot to lay down. MD keeps getting up to check them both. She says the wounds look very nice and all is well.

Luckily, MD says, this is a bungalow, so there are no stairs… Just small steps in and out of the place.

MD keeps getting up to check the girls. She want to put the table and parasol out and go and sit with them. Of course, I have to go and sit at her feet, so I’ll let her post this for you to read.

MD says: ‘Thanks for the kind comments yesterday.’

Had The Girls Spayed Today…

2009-03-31T17:26:00.001+01:00

After dropping Katie and Jazz off at the vets this morning, I managed to sit here till noon before phoning to find out how they were. Not one minute went by that I wasn’t thinking about them and trying not to worry.

When I dropped them off my vet said he’d do them first and that I could pick them up at lunch time. There was no way I could wait till the end of surgery in the afternoon to get them. I’d have collapsed with worry!

So I rang. ‘Katie has woken up and is fine. She was done first.’ The receptionist told me. ‘Jazz was second and hasn’t really woken up properly yet. Ring back in an hour…’

Dave had heard my part of the conversation and as soon as I hung up, he asked: ‘How much…? I mean, how are they.’ Now isn’t that just a typical man? ‘How much?’ I could have strangled him.

I sat here and would have bitten my nails to the quick if I still bit them. Instead I half smoked myself to death instead! Then at ten to one, Chris and I got in the car, leaving Jade and Titch here at home, and set off to collect the girls. As we walked in, the receptionist said ‘The vets aren’t here at the minute, so there’s no one to sign the girls out. But you can come through and see them.’

We followed her into the kennel area and I opened Jazzie’s cage door and climbed in and sat with her. Chris did the same with Katie.

Katie was well awake and ready to leave. Jazz was still very dopy and hardly opened an eye to acknowledge I was there! After about a quarter of an hour, she slowly stood up and turned her back on me and lay down again, shutting her eyes. She was sulking… Her mummy had left here there and gone away! How evil is that? I could feel her saying.

We had plenty of time to chat to the trainee vet nurse and another young girl on work experience. Eventually the vets arrived back from their lunch. One of them gave first Kate, then Jazz a thorough examination, checking temperatures and signed them free to go home.

Chris carried Katie out and the vet nurse carried Jazz out for me. We popped them in the back of the car and drove home. Chris carried them into the house. Jazz in her usual place on the settee beside where I sit here on my laptop, and Kate in the chair he sits in.

Katie relaxing after her op.

Jazz, resting on the settee after her op.

Next appointment is on Friday just to check all is well.

Dave bit his tongue and resisted asking me how much the bill came to. I think he thought it safest that way! So I told him. ‘That was cheaper than I expected.’ he said! It must have hurt him to say that! A fiver would have been too much normally!

Both Kate and Jazz have stayed put and are resting quietly.

The Saga of Titch…

Titch is fine now.

Last Friday, I put the dogs on Arden Grange complete food. I no longer use Pedigree complete since they changed the recipe as it’s full of rubbish now, in my opinion. I have tried two other complete foods but the dogs haven’t like them. I’ve had to add a spoonful of tinned dog food before they would eat it.

So I got Chicken and Rice Arden Grange, and they took to it instantly. No need to add meat to it. But I didn’t change them over gradually this time. I was very low and in one day, they had a bit of both. Then Titch got the runs. I starved him… He’s the best one at eating that we have. I felt so sorry for him. He was better on Saturday, but got the runs again and on Sunday I found blood. I panicked!

I rang a fiend then managed to get through to the emergency vet… Why do these things always happen at the weekends when vet bills will be double? The vet suggested it might be Colitis, as I suspected, and that I could wait till the morning to see my own vet. Titch was showing no signs of being ill. He was out playing and chasing around with the others on and off during the day.

So Monday morning, Chris and I were down the vet with Titch. He’s all sorted now and is fine. It was Colitis… But it’s been a heavy week paying out for the dogs this week!

The Swimming Pool…

Pete was here when Chris and I got back from the vets this morning, working on re-vamping the pool. Chris got straight to work helping him.

Then Trevor arrived to do the garden. We had two holes that needed filling in where our friend’s dog had had great fun digging away last week. So it was all go here this morning.

I had got up early and taken all the relevant tablets to allow me to get dressed and get on the road and keep going… I just hope I don’t suffer with a swollen tummy later! Fingers crossed.

Peace and quiet at home now as Pete has left. The girls are lying quietly. Jazz hasn’t moved off the settee at all yet. Kate has move a couple of times. She’s far more alert and awake. But they are both fine.

Thanks for your kind thoughts and prayers… I know they helped.

Technorati Tags: Spaying bitches,Colitis,Arden Grange,vets

Don’t Get This Depressed…

2009-03-30T12:26:00.001+01:00

A little guy is sitting at the bar just staring at his drink when a large, trouble-making bikie steps up next to him, grabs his drink, gulps it down in one swig and then turns to him with a menacing stare as if to say. 'Well, - whatcha gonna do about it?'

The little guy starts crying.

'Come on man I was just giving you a hard time',the bikie says, 'I didn't think you'd CRY. - I can't stand to see a man crying.'

'This is the worst day of my life', says the little guy between sobs. 'I've got to admit it - I'm a complete failure - I just can't do anything right.'

'I overslept and was late to an important meeting,- so my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car was stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife in bed with the gardener - and then my own dog bit me. So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all. I buy a drink - I drop my capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve - then you show up and drink the lot! '

To read Jade’s blog about our life, click here…

The Golfer & The Leprechaun…

2009-03-26T22:37:00.001Z

A golfer playing in Ireland hooked his drive into the woods.
Looking for his ball, he found a little Leprechaun flat on his back, a big bump on his head and the golfer's ball beside him.

Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle from the cart and poured it over the little guy, reviving him.

'Arrgh! What happened?' the Leprechaun asked.

'I'm afraid I hit you with my golf ball,' the golfer says.

'Oh, I see. Well, ye got me fair and square. Ye get three wishes, so whaddya want?'

'Thank God, you're all right!' the golfer answers in relief. 'I don't want anything, I'm just glad you're OK, and I apologize.' And the golfer walks off.

'What a nice guy,' the Leprechaun says to himself. I have to do something for him. I'll give him the three things I would want... a great golf game, all the money he ever needs, and a fantastic sex life.'

A year goes by and the golfer is back. On the same hole, he again hits a bad drive into the woods and the Leprechaun is there waiting for him.

'Twas me that made ye hit the ball here,' the little guy says. 'I just want to ask ye, how's yer golf game?'

'My game is fantastic!' the golfer answers. I'm an internationally famous golfer now.' He adds, 'By the way, it's good to see you're all right.'

'Oh, I'm fine now, thankye. I did that fer yer golf game, you know. And tell me, how's yer money situation?'

'Why, it's just wonderful!' the golfer states. 'When I need cash, I just reach in my pocket and pull out $100.00 bills I didn't even know were there!'

'I did that fer ye also.' And tell me, how's yer sex life?'

The golfer blushes, turns his head away in embarrassment, and says shyly, 'It's OK.'

C'mon, c'mon now,' urged the Leprechaun, 'I'm wanting to know if I did a good job. How many times a week?'

Blushing even more, the golfer looks around then whispers, 'Once, sometimes twice a week.'

'What??' responds the Leprechaun in shock. 'That's all? Only once or twice a week?'

'Well,' says the golfer, 'I figure that's not bad for a Catholic priest in a small parish.'

To read updates on me, please read my other blog.

Who said the police do not have a sense of humour....

2009-03-26T22:28:00.001Z

A senior citizen drove his brand new BMW Z3 convertible out of the car dealership.

Taking off down the motorway, he floored it to 90 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through his grey hair 'Amazing!' he thought as he flew down the M40, enjoying pushing the pedal to the metal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.

'I can get away from him - no problem!' thought the elderly nutcase as he floored it to 110mph, then 120, then 130mph.

Suddenly, he thought, 'What on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense!' So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.

Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up to the driver's side of the BMW, looked at his watch and said, 'Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes. Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go.'

The man, looked very seriously at the policeman, and replied,
'Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman. I thought you were bringing her back.'

'Have a nice day, Sir,' said the policeman.

JUST A TAP ON THE SHOULDER

2009-03-25T17:28:00.001Z

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.

For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking driver said, 'I'm sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me.'

The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn't realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much.

The driver replied, 'No, no, I'm sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab....................

I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years.'

Have a Laugh…

2009-03-22T12:18:00.001Z

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS! Except that one where you're naked in church.

Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough.

Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken.

Heaven is Where:
The Police are British,
The Chefs are Italian,
The Mechanics are German,
The Lovers are French and
It's all organized by the Swiss.
Hell is Where:
The Police are German,
The Chefs are British,
The Mechanics are French,
The Lovers are Swiss and
It's all organized by the Italians.

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Welcome to Utah… Set your watch back 20 years.

In just two days from now, tomorrow will be yesterday.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.

I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other.

I am a Nobody.
Nobody is Perfect.
Therefore I am Perfect.

KENTUCKY: Five million people, Fifteen last names.

I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.

Dyslexics Have More Nuf.

I LOVE COOKING WITH WINE…Sometimes I even put it in the food.

Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?

When you work here, you can name your own salary.
I named mine, "Fred".

Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.

Red meat is not bad for you… Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

I am having an out-of-money experience.

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280 Interstate. Please be careful!"
"It's not just one car," said Herman. "It's hundreds of them!"

I want to die while asleep like my grandfather, not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

It’s Mother’s Day… Have a good one…

Beware The Grapes of Wrath (Or Your Dog Could Die)

2009-03-20T12:33:00.001Z

About a year ago, I wrote about this subject. It doesn’t do any harm to remind folks that allowing your pet to eat any of the following could, and often does, kill the animal. I personally know of two dogs that got hold of some grapes and both died. And another two that the owner found while they were eating them and managed to get the dogs to her vet in time to be treated. They were lucky to survive.

The following is taken from the K9 Magazine. Please read the whole article for more information.

The wrath of grapes was, unfortunately, all too familiar for many dogs and cats in 2008 as a US based pet insurance firm released data showing how many toxic claims it had dealt with last year. For many dog owners, they are unaware of which foods can prove toxic to dogs until it’s too late.

VPI pet health insurance analyzed the more than 400 claims it received last year for toxic plant ingestions to find which plants and plant products proved most likely to poison pets. Raisins and grapes topped the list, followed by mushrooms and marijuana. In 2008, the average amount claimed for plant poisoning was $427 (approx £300).

Top Plant Poisoning Claims of 2008
1. Raisins/Grapes
2. Mushrooms
3. Marijuana
4. Lily
5. Walnuts
6. Onion
7. Sago Palm
8. Macadamia Nuts
9. Azalea
10. Hydrangea

“Almost all plant poisonings in pets can be prevented, but prevention depends on knowledge, thus it is important for pet owners to become familiar with which items can be toxic if ingested,” said Dr. Carol McConnell, vice president and chief veterinary medical officer for VPI.

“Prevention is a simple matter of keeping these hazards out of a pet’s environment. To avoid plant poisonings, try not to give a dog table scraps that contain raisins, onions or nuts, and make sure that a new pet is introduced to a backyard free of sago palms, wild mushrooms or other toxic plants.”

Pet owners have good reason to take the threat of grape/raisin ingestion seriously. Even in low doses, ingestion can place pets at risk for acute renal failure. Symptoms include anorexia, lethargy, depression, vomiting, diarrhea and abdominal pain.

Technorati Tags: Dogs,Grapes,Poisonous for dogs,Grapes/Raisons

Video from K9 Magazine…

2009-03-18T13:57:00.001Z

I just found this interesting video of Ryan O’Meara on his web site. He produces the K9 Magazine.

He is discussing the DDA (Dangerous Dogs Act) on a lot of the clips. I must say that I agree with what he says. It is the people who are at fault, not the dogs.

It is quite long as there are various clips of Ryan being interviewed on various TV programmes at different times.

If you want to keep up with the latest news on Dogs, visit his web site and sign up for his newsletter.

Technorati Tags: DDA,Dangerous Dogs Act,Rottweillas,Pit Bulls,Dangerous dogs

Jade’s Diary…

2009-03-17T15:08:00.001Z

Mother Dear gave us our tea… Something is happening around here, not sure what is going on? May be MD is getting low on dog food? None of our bowls have very much food in them just lately. A bit of the dried food with a spoonful of tinned meat and gravy added. It tastes nice but there isn’t very much of it.

We are thinking of going on strike and begging when the family sit down to eat. This is something we never do normally – beg – but we are getting desperate now.

This shortage of food started the day after MD’s friend Angela visited us the other day. Daddy Dave always gives us a treat after he’s had a sandwich, but even he’s stopped doing this. I heard him ask MD if he could give us the crusts but MD said ‘No! Give them to the birds.’

MD said something like ‘We’ve got to get the weight off these dogs.’ What does she mean? We are not even getting any extra titbits lately. We are going to starve to death at this rate.

Another Unexpected Visitor… The phone rang after we’d settled down for a quick nap after our tea. MD spoke briefly then put the phone down and jumped up and yelled at Chris and Daddy Dave, ‘Vacuum the carpet while I do the kitchen…. Danny’s just down the road…’

And sure enough, 10 minutes later, we heard a car pull up on the drive. It was Danny, MD’s oldest son. He doesn’t often pay unexpected visits as he lives in London. But he said it had been a nice day in London and he just felt like going for a ride. So he drove up to see us.

Danny wasn’t happy when Katie and Jazzy jumped up enthusiastically to greet him. He doesn’t like to get dog hairs on his trousers. Silly man… He should wear his jeans when he visits!

He had lots of news to tell MD. He’s been waiting to run this new pub in London, near where the old one was. He and his friend want to turn an area of it into a some sort of German beer room so they are flying off to Munich on Thursday to visit some. I don’t understand it all… I just lay at MD’s feet listening.

Jazz wasn’t too happy as when I’m on the floor she likes to lie on the settee next to MD, but Danny was sitting there. So she found a small ball on a rope and took it to him. He didn’t take it so she dropped it at his feet. He still ignored it so she picked it up and tried to put it on his knee, but it fell off.

Danny just would not take the hint to either play with her of move so she could lie there or get MD to play. I got up and picked the toy up to help get the message across. We began to play tuggy together. This room isn’t large enough for dogs to play enthusiastically in! So we took the toy to Daddy Dave, who threw it a few times for us to catch… Then MD asked us to lie down and settle…

Early this Morning… MD woke early. I looked up at her and she said she was feeling OK this morning but decided to take a couple of tablets anyway, so she could get back into bed and get a little more sleep.

A couple of hours later she got up and gave us our breakfast. Still hardly anything in our bowls. Then he postman knocked on her bedroom window, as he does when he has a package to give her.

It was two books and a DVD for MD to review for the magazine. One of the books was called ‘Border Collie’… An owner’s guide by Carol Price. MD was delighted and looked through the book at the photos in it. One looked just like Titch and another looked like Jazz, and another couple looked just like me!

They were photos of Ilona, my litter sister and her two children. We know them well and have had super runs with them when they have been up here to visit. Arun, Ilona’s son looks like Titch and Lara looks like Jazz. MD was very excited and spent the next hour reading the book.

The other book was called ‘Stafforshire Bull Terrier’, an owner’s guide by Alison Smith. MD has never owned one of these, but we had one to stay once. He bit my old Uncle Solo’s nose which MD was not happy about!

The DVD consists of 4 CD’s: ‘Dog Whisperer’ with Cesar Millan. The blurb says it is the complete first season. As MD has watched all the TV programmes she says she won’t have to watch them all as she’s already seen them. If they aren’t she’ll have to spend a whole day watching them! These will be available from DTW. Once MD has written the reviews, they will be added to their web site.

Time for a quick kip on the settee beside Mother Dear so she can publish this for me…

Message From Jade…

2009-03-16T15:09:00.001Z

Hello Folks. This is me! It’s a picture taken before I got a few grey hairs, but it’s a photo Mother Dear loves. She says I look cute.

Yes… This is me writing to you. Mother Dear gets fed up with trying to write when she isn’t feeling too well. So I thought I’d jump in and tell you about her and my family.

Mother Dear’s Tummy Problems… As some of you know, she gets this dreadful tummy and can get very moody. So long as the human family leave her alone, she can cope, but if they start messing about, she gets a bit snappy with them. Any of us dogs can go and lay beside her on the sofa and she feels better when she tickles our tummies!

This is me with my tummy exposed waiting for a tickle.

For quite a while now, Mother Dear has been waking up in the early hours of the morning with a bad tummy. This means she has to jump out of bed quickly to get to the bathroom. I always follow her there and lay down beside her to keep her company. We can be in there for up to a quarter of an hour or more. Then, when she feels ‘safe’, as she puts it, she darts back into the bedroom to take some tablets to bind herself.

Sometimes, she only manages to get the tablets out of the draw and out of the packet before she has to run back into the bathroom! Trouble is, the sooner she can take the tablets, the sooner she can climb back into bed and get some more rest. All this can go on for an hour.

This morning, she managed to take the tablets quite quickly, but she still has to wait 20 minutes for them to work. She says she is taking twice the number now for them to have any effect. She hates swallowing tablets… they can make her retch. This sometimes does actually make her sick. Luckily she keeps an old small plastic dog bowl beside her bed and another in the bathroom in case she gets caught unawares!

This morning wasn’t good. Two hours after the first bad bout, she got another… So the procedure of rushing to the bathroom and back started over again. More tablets were taken. Then she got our breakfast sorted but didn’t have time to put it down for us to eat. We had to wait till she could get back out of the bathroom. Never mid, we were very good and waited.

This was the same yesterday morning. and several times over the last week or so. Good job she didn’t go to Crufts as she was bad most mornings that the show was on. She’d never have coped if she wasn’t at home.

New Bones for Us All… The other day, Mother Dear asked our dad to get us some new stuffed bones to chew. We do love them so. We still like the old ones even after getting all the tasty stuff out of them. Luckily, Mother Dear doesn’t throw them away. She just puts them in the toy box if we are expecting visitors.

Most visitors arrive with their dogs and they know where our toy box is, so they go and get them all out again!

This is Titch with his bone.

Titch is my eldest son…. He was what Mother Dear called, the runt of the little. If she means he was very small, smaller than the rest, she is right. We didn’t think he’d live… He nearly didn’t, but Mother Dear worked hard on him. Eventually he showed signs of life and has never looked back. He is now the tallest one of all my sons. Daddy Chris (MD’s son), fell in love with him and hid him when people came to take my other babies home with them.

I didn’t mind having puppies, but was glad when MD* took over feeding them for me. I mean, if they can eat on their own, why do they have to sap the life out me sucking on my nipples too? They had sharp little teeth.

Anyway… Titch adores his dad Chris. He follows him everywhere all the time as I do MD.

Me in the front with Titch behind and Katie standing looking to swap bones!

We never argue over bones… We just all get up and swap round, then settle on the new bone. MD didn’t get a picture of Jazz, Katie’s sister (both my daughters), as she took her bone off to the other room. She likes to chew in private!

Here is Jazz sitting in daddy Dave’s chair, keeping it warm for him.

MD kept Jazz… from my last and final litter. She and MD are very close. She doesn’t follow MD from room to room as I do, but she does like to lie where she can see MD. She can hardly lie at MD’s feet as that’s my place.

She and I often take one of our toys and put them on MD’s knee when we want to have a game. We all pick our own toy and MD throws them for us to catch in turn. We are very good and stick to our own, but Katie sometimes gets a bit greedy and jumps in for one of ours. She’s learning as MD teaches her. She was dreadfully pushy when she first came back to live with us.

Well… I just wanted to tell you that the reason MD doesn’t always update her blog is because she isn’t feeling too good. When she’s like this she eats very little which can’t help. She says she just can’t get her brain in gear!

She did manage to get her article written yesterday for the magazine. She says she might put it up here after it’s published.

I’ll sign off now, but I’ll try and write something when MD doesn’t feel like it. I have lots to tell you about myself. I’ve been to a few shows and even went to Crufts one year. That was fun.

* MD – Mother Dear

Technorati Tags: Dogs,Stuffed bones,Diverticulitis

SIX AFFAIRS

2009-03-15T13:45:00.001Z

The 1st Affair…
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his shoes and drove home.

'Where have you been?' his wife demanded.
'I can't lie to you,' he replied, 'I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon.'

She looked down at his shoes and said: 'You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!'

The 2nd Affair…
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.

He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen. He told his wife: 'There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?'

The wife smiled sweetly and replied: 'No, not this time!'

The 3rd Affair…
A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen! 'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the mortician commented, 'I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity.' So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.

'I have something to show you won't believe,' he said to his wife, opening his briefcase.
'My God!' the wife exclaimed, 'Schwartz is dead!'

The 4th Affair…
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. 'Hurry,' she said, 'stand in the corner.' She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder. 'Don't move until I tell you,' she said. 'Pretend you're a statue.'

'What's this?' the husband inquired as he entered the room.

'Oh it's a statue,' she replied. 'The Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too.' No more was said, not even when they went to bed.

Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer. 'Here,' he said to the statue, have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing.'

The 5th Affair…
A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.
'Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent.'
'One Cent?' the man exclaimed.
He glanced at the menu and asked: 'How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?'
'A nickel,' the barman replied.
'A nickel?' exclaimed the man. 'Where's the guy who owns this place?'
The bartender replied: 'Upstairs, with my wife.'
The man asked: 'What's he doing upstairs with your wife?'
The bartender replied: 'The same thing I'm doing to his business down here.'

The 6th & Best Affair…
Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside. He looked up and said weakly: 'I have something I must confess.'
'There's no need to, 'his wife replied.
'No,' he insisted, 'I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!'
'I know,' she replied. 'Now just rest and let the poison work.'

An Unexpected Visitor…

2009-03-14T14:09:00.001Z

The last person I expected to see yesterday was my friend Angela (a vicar). She has one of my dogs from the last litter… Charlie, a red and white collie. She does Obedience and Flyball with him.

The first thing she said when she walked in was that my dogs had put weight on since her last visit a month ago! I hate over-weight dogs… You often don’t notice as you see your own dogs every day. So, from today, they are all on a diet… Not just mummy dog Jade, who always seems to be a little fatter than I like… Though my vet says she’s fine! I’d rather have them on the lean side than on the fat side.

So new rules around here:

A lot less titbits please.
No left-over food to be given unless I add it to their normal meals and adjust the complete food accordingly!
No falling for soft brown eyes looking at you pleadingly to be fed.
No cheating when I’m not looking.
More exercise for the dogs.

For the last seven years, Angela has been living up the road running a different parish and has now got a job in Scotland. She moved up there at the end of last month. Her and all 10 of her dogs.

One of her dogs – Flite, a lovely bitch – was entered in Breed at Crufts, so she had come back for the show and has been sorting out the old vicarage.

Flite picked up a third place at Crufts.

Here she is chewing on a bone in my house.

Angela had taken yesterday off to go to her friend Sarah’s to work her two young dogs on sheep. Then popped in to visit me on her way back to where she was staying. She’ll be travelling back up to Scotland next week.

This morning… I woke with a bad tummy (as so often happens these days), and took some tablets to bind me. We were expecting Pete to turn up after ten to fix a small leak we had on a join in a pipe leading up to the shower which he put in a while ago. I did not need to have to kick him out of the bathroom because I needed it!

I enjoy a visit from Pete as he was born and bred in Long Sutton and he knows about everything that is going on around the area. So we get all the latest gossip!

Apparently, there has been a spate of thefts from cars lately. Silly people leaving sat navs and laptops visible in their cars! More than normal have been broken into. We have a very small police force in this area. I doubt anyone will get their articles returned.

Anyway, Pete fixed the leak and tightened a screw or two. Had a cup of tea, a couple of fags, then arranged when he could come and help get our swimming pool sorted for us.

I managed to dissuade Dave from having a Hot Tub and that re-vamping the swimming pool would be a better idea. Luckily, I won that discussion and we are now putting some heating in the pool. And we are re-lining it as there was a small hole we had to fix each year! By the time we have done everything, it will have cost nearly as much as a hot tub would have cost!!!

One good thing is that Dearly Beloved did manage – eventually - to get his £500.00 deposit on the hot tub back. That really was pure luck. Normally, a deposit is non-refundable. I think my nagging and teasing was worse to bare than the wroth of the man who took Dave’s deposit! Poor man reluctantly returned the deposit as I think he was sick of Dave nagging him and threatening him with the Small Claims Court!

Pete is off for a short break. He has been very busy lately. Then, if we have everything we need, he’s coming back early next month to sort the pool out.

So I’ve sent dearly beloved on a mission: To get all the things we need to get the pool finished. He hasn’t got the liner or new skin yet. We already have the expensive heater and other odds and sods we need.

I’ve got an article I’ve been asked to write for a magazine, so I must get started.

Have a good weekend Folks… Stay safe.

Simon Sez…

2009-03-14T12:38:00.001Z

You may have seen this video before… But I just love it. Enjoy…

SEX & HOUSEWORK

2009-03-14T11:59:00.001Z

(THE FEMALE PERSPECTIVE)
She'd been taught that housework is a woman's job, but one evening Jenny arrived home from work to find the children bathed, one load of laundry in the washer and another in the dryer. Dinner was on the stove, and the table was set.
She was astonished!!

It turned out that Ralph had read an article that said, 'Wives who worked full-time and then had to do their own housework were too tired to have sex. The night went very well.

The next day, she told her office friends all about it. 'We had a great dinner. Ralph even cleaned up the kitchen. He helped the kids do their homework, folded all the laundry and put it away. I really enjoyed the evening.'

'But what about afterward?' asked her friends.

'Oh, that --- Ralph was too tired.'

God is Good…

An Old Friend Phoned…

2009-03-13T15:51:00.001Z

Yesterday afternoon I got a very unexpected phone call from a young man I have known for a good number years. I have known him so long that since his mother went back to the West Indies to live in the 1980s, I have called him my adopted son.

Since we moved up to the Fens, I haven’t heard from him, though I did bump into him a Crufts a few years ago.

It all started when Robert arrived at Brixton Dog Training Club with his dog Caesar, a yellow Lab. Then he got Raven, a super black GSD (German Shepherd). We trained Obedience and eventually I persuaded Robert to enter Open shows and compete. He got his first win under me. I remember it today…Raven did a lovely round.

Robert became interested in Instructing and started his own small club in 1986 in South London. He has a natural ability to put people at their ease and is able to help them get the best out of their dogs.

When the concept of Dog Wardens started, Robert applied to our local Lewisham Council and became their first dog warden in 1990. The stories he told me about the sad cases he came across would make me cry at times. I suggested he should write a book about his experiences. I wrote a few articles for dog magazines about his experiences. I got him judging Obedience at a few shows too, but he doesn’t judge now. He’s too busy.

Robert got interesting in behaviour training and went on every course he could to expand his knowledge and skills. I am very proud that he never stopped learning. Since those days he’s helped a great many people with their dogs.

I was not surprised to switch on my TV one day to watch a new programme called ‘Dog Borstall’ to find that Robert was one of the three trainers. I was so proud of him and later searched the Internet to try and find his email address to write and congratulate him.

Here he is with three GSDs. His name is Robert Alleyne.

Back to the phone call… I was really thrilled to hear his voice on the other end. He told me he never got that email I sent a few years ago. I really should have emailed again or put pen to paper and written or just phoned him. Mind you, I didn’t know if he’d moved? If I’d bothered to phone or write I’d have found out that he hadn’t!

We spent an hour and a half chatting about everything. I cried as he told me how he lost Caesar and Raven and I told him about the dogs he knew that I had lost since we last saw each other.

Robert has written a book now. Titled ‘The Trouble-Free Dog’. To quote from the blurb: Robert…. ‘teaches you how to communicate with your dog. Having acquired this skill, you will then be able to prevent worrying behavioral problems occurring or solve those your dog already has. However, as well as dealing with your pet's psychological needs, the book also covers all the physical aspects of caring for your dog: from maintaining him in good health to the legal responsibilities of being a dog owner. Also included are numerous informative and entertaining case histories which demonstrate the wide variety of problems that can actually occur.’

I haven’t read the book yet but Robert promises to bring a copy up for me when he visits us soon.

You can order the book from Robert Hale, the Publishers. £9.99

Technorati Tags: Robert Alleyne,Dog Borstall,The Trouble-Free Dog

Missing Dog…

2009-03-12T22:46:00.001Z

Have You Seen This Dog?

There is a dog missing and I am trying to pass the word around. Please visit Shelley’s blog to read more about Jacob.

Jacob

Hello friends
As you may already know, we have been desperately trying to find our missing dog Jacob, a male Bracco Italiano who has been missing since 21st Jan.
I know you have most probably had numerous emails from either me, or our friends or the Bracco/Spinone groups who are helping in our search, but right now I am writing to you as the focus of our search has changed.
On Monday evening we had a call from a lady on a mobile (number was shown) and who told us they have Jacob. The call was short, as if she was disturbed and had to go.
We have desperately tried in vain to get to speak to the person on the mobile number again, many (many) times and left messages and pleas for this person to get back in touch with us.
I have additionally sent texts to the phone asking for them to let us know he is okay, to take him somewhere 'safe' for us to get him, and asking if it's about reward money.
So far, the phone rings and is aborted to answer phone every time one of us calls.
I am told that hoaxers _do not usually show their mobile number_, it kind of defeats the object of them calling up. Knowing this obviously adds to our concerns for our boy.
We have contacted the police, who seem helpless (or is that unwilling) in being able to trace the callers mobile due to their "certain criteria". This shocking lack of help just makes this all the more upsetting. If Jacob were a motorbike or car, then the 'criteria' would be helpful no doubt.
So, yet again I find I am left with no alternative than to take the matter into my own hands, and therefore I am asking you to email Jacob's details to as many people as you can, and keep an eye out for him in your local area.
He could turn up just about anywhere now.
If you know of rescues (large or small) in your area, can I ask you to please kindly send them the email to make them aware of Jacob's plight.
I have tried to cover all areas but cannot guarantee to know all the smaller rescues that you would be aware of because you live in the area....I need to contact everyone possible.
We all send those chain letter "send to 8 friends" emails round like wildfire, and I hope that we can do the same here but for more of a purpose.
Someone must know about Jacob, and through word of mouth we hope that it can feed back to us of any information of his whereabouts.
We are just utterly desperate to find him as you can imagine.
It's just heartbreaking the not knowing.
I really do appreciate your time is precious, so Thank You for reading this and passing it on to anyone and everyone you feel can help us spread the word.
Kind regards & Thanks
Shelley Haggerwood

My Hospital Appointment…

2009-03-09T15:32:00.001Z

At last the day of my appointment to see the Consultant has arrived… The appointment was for 10.00am. Not a good time of day for me… Just a little too early without getting up extra early to make myself ‘safe’ to leave the house.

I must have started worrying about it on Friday. And as I’ve said before, stress can bring on a bad bout of visits to the bathroom! I sat watching Crufts live on my PC for most of the day, then in the afternoon all hell let lose, tummy wise. I had to dose myself up and then got such a swollen tummy, I just didn’t feel like eating much. I had had a small pie around midday, as usual then a bit of pasta late. Not enough to keep a mouse alive.

Bad Saturday & Sunday night… I went off to bed and managed to rest and fall asleep for a short while, then woke feeling very sick. So it was trips to the bathroom. Unfortunately, I wasn’t sick. I’d have felt a lot better if I had been! Got up on the Sunday morning and was sick! I felt a little better then, but was dreadfully tired as I hadn’t had much sleep during two nights.

On the PC watching Crufts for most of the two days. My son Danny was coming up on Saturday, but I put him off as I was just not feeling well. I rang him on Saturday morning after Chris, bless him, had done a great deal of extra housework!

Crufts…

I am so impressed with the coverage that the Kennel Club have given. I have managed to see far more of Crufts than if I’d been there all four days, as is usual. As you may know, the BBC pulled out of filming this year. In my opinion, that is the best thing that they could have done. We wouldn’t have had the continual coverage all four days, if they had been there. We’ve never had coverage online before.

The BBC used to get some celeb presenters, half of which didn’t know one end of a dog from another, and film five minutes of this and that. You ended up with four hours on four nights of just a taster of what was going on, interspersed with chit chat as the presenters made sure they had their faces on camera half the time. They were generally asking silly questions that were totally irrelevant and showed their ignorance of dogs.

During the ‘live’ coverage we have had people who knew what they were talking about commentating on the events.

I have paid my £9.99 to be able to watch Video On Demand where I can catch up on all that I didn’t see. I watched the Main Arena Events ‘live’ for free. All the Obedience Events were put up the following day to watch V.O.D. So watched some in the evenings.

Back to my problems…

Sunday night I went to bed early... Unfortunately, my tummy woke me unexpectedly at 3.00am. It was twenty past before I could get back into my bedroom to take some tablets to bind me. Then I awoke with a start at 5.30am and had to rush through to the bathroom again! Took a couple more tablets and lay down again. Dave woke me at just gone eight… I hadn’t fed the dogs! He made me a coffee – I fed the dogs – then ran a bath. Then I took a couple more tablets. Oh dear… I am going to suffer with a swollen tummy after all these tablets, but I dare not leave the house unless I feel safe.

We needed to leave by nine to give us time to park up at the hospital and find the right department. Dave went out and warmed up the engine. I let him drive. Big mistake… I’ve not let him drive me for months, and yet again, he’s forgotten how to use the indicators. I so annoys me! Men!!!

I got out at the hospital main entrance and left him to park up. He noticed that someone was about to leave a Disabled spot in front of the hospital, but failed to notice a woman waiting to go in the spot when the car had backed out. I was standing quite near at the main entrance finishing off my last ciggie, so I saw it all.

Dave pulled up behind the car that was about to reverse out which meant the woman waiting was beside him… but she was sort of parked very near the left curb. She didn’t have her indicator on to indicate she wanted to turn into the parking spot when the car came out. So I don’t blame Dave for not noticing her at first. But she then pulled out into the road… Two more cars came up and had to stop behind Dave as there was no longer room for them to drive through. Silly woman!

I saw the reversing lights go on on our car… Luckily, the car behind noticed and also began to reverse slowly as the end car driver woke up and also began to move! Dave had to reverse up a bit to let the car out of the spot!

Then he drove straight in, leaving the poor woman to swear at him from her driving seat! I did feel a bit sorry for her as she had been there first, but you’d never have realised she wanted the parking spot from her position on the road. She had been where people stop to let passengers out of cars.

We went into the Foyer… I asked where my department was. I was told it was at the other end of the hospital. Luckily, we had left plenty of time. Off we set… Dave stopping a couple of times to get his breath back and once for a sit down. Got to the right place to be told I should go back near the main entrance. Here we go…!

We did manage to get back the whole way we had just walked and I booked in. My doctor was running late! What’s new???

Found a couple of seats together. The place was packed out. I got chatting to a lovely lady in her 40s with similar problems to mine. She was with her mother. I did feel for her being so young, with similar problems to me. You sort of expect things to start deteriorating with your body as you get older. I was fit as a fiddle in my 40s, working and training my dogs and walking them for miles. Then competing or judging each weekend and driving all over the UK to where the shows were.

I got a warm welcome from the doctor when it was eventually my time. I was called in an hour and ten minutes late! He actually apologized for the delay and for having to give me such an early morning appointment. He said he’d been worried about me. I’d like to believe he had given me a second thought… but I doubt it with the number of patients he has!

He has recommended that I see a surgeon for keyhole surgery. To put a camera down my throat to see if there is any way to take care of this blockage/constriction. I told him I hadn’t eaten anything other than a couple of small pies over two days. I told him I hadn’t had much sleep either… I don’t think I left anything out. He really did seem to remember what I’d told him the last time I’d seen him… OK. He’d read up on my notes! But it is nice to feel that the doctor does know quite a bit about you.

So fingers crossed I don’t have to wait too long to see a surgeon. I was told it should be in the next 3 or 4 weeks. I do hope so. I really am a little worried about my weight. I am nearly 6 stone. Far too slim for me… I look like a stick woman. Stand sideways and I can hide behind a broom handle!

I promised to let friends know how things went with my appointment. Now I am going back to finish watching the fantastic videos the Kennel Club have done of Crufts. Who knows, may be next year I’ll be able to go again?

Crufts Day 3….

2009-03-07T19:05:00.001Z

I haven’t been writing as the Kennel Club and Crufts have had such fantastic live coverage in the Main Arena. I have sat here glued to my PC watching everything.

I have managed to take my dogs out for several good games during each day and my son has had them out for walks.

Who needs the BBC with the coverage we are getting? We don’t! When I’m at Crufts I sit and watch as much of the Obedience as I can. I watch the Inter Regional Team events on Thursday, the Obedience Championships on Friday and Saturday, followed by the World Cup on Sunday. I also wander around meeting up with friends I haven’t seen for a while and end up spending far too much money!

I never get to see any Agility or Flyball or anything else going on in other rings. This year everything has been videoed and apart from the events in the main area, you can watch it all the next day through Video On Demand.

I paid my £9.99 and can watch through till the end of March. It has been a great success. I have heard from people around the world who are watching.

The BBC only ever put on snippets of other events over four days with one hour programmes. Now we are able to watch the whole event. I can’t praise the Crufts video team enough for all they have done and are doing.

So if you have been busy and haven’t been able to watch too much, sign up and pay your tenner and you can see it all till the end of March.

Here is a video of one of the Championship Bitch rounds, Shirley Budgen’s round. She didn’t win but she and Reesa put on a fantastic show:

I asked a friend if the sun shining in the Obedience ring affected any of the handlers and/or dogs. This is her reply…

Hi Jane
I was at Crufts Thursday and Friday.

On Thursday for the Regional teams the sun was very off putting. My friend Sharron with her Labradoodle Mutley was first in for the Western Team Beginners. On one of the about turns - she turned into the sunlight and was blinded by it - indeed on occasion the judge - Hugh Wynne - could be seen holding his hand up over his brow as you do when the sun is shining in your eyes.

Also when Sharron left Mutley for the recall, when she turned she could not see him for the sun! Fortunately she coped ok and gained second place in the Beginner section of the Inter Regionals.

On Friday I don't think it was quite as bad somehow - maybe the sun wasn't quite as bright just a little more hazy - though there was sunlight.

I personally don't think it affected the dogs - only the Rottie seemed a little worried right at the very end of her round - she seemed to think she had to sort of step over the line between light and shade but this was very minimal.

I personally thought the bitch day was one of the best Crufts I have ever seen. Kim was a very well deserved winner. The round was flowing and interesting. The whole ring was used - not as in some years where I personally thought too much happened in one part of the ring and not another. There were no gimmicks - all the competitors had the round sent to them prior to Crufts so they could work it before hand. Not one bitch failed Sendaway - three black plant pots. Some were short of the back marker but they all went through the front two markers.

There were many handler errors - as there will always be at Crufts - nerves will always affect some handlers. When the competitors ran Herbie (the judge) ran - when they were doing slow pace Herbie did slow pace - and the same for the normal pace. Yes he was pretty close at times but this should not affect handlers at this standard.

He did the round every time a competitor did the round - he always seemed to be in the right place - nothing seemed to be left to chance. He never judged from one side of the ring while the competitor walked horizontally across in front of him - when you can't have a clue as to whether the dog is wide or not.

The scent was very straight forward - a line of cloths vertically in front of the handler - with a male and female decoy - it posed very few problems.

In my opinion Jane this Crufts was the whole package. It wasn't won or lost on one exercise as has happened occasionally in the past if a Sendaway proved very difficult for instance - as has happened. You had to do it all under the eye of a very knowledgeable and astute judge.

I was just sorry that I couldn't be there today.
Madge

Thank you Madge for allowing me to reproduce your email here.

Technorati Tags: Crufts,Crufts Live coverage

Crufts Day 2…

2009-03-06T16:04:00.001Z

The Championship Obedience (Bitches), has just finished. Here is the lineup.

1st Kim Innes and OB. CH. Barlingo Go Balistic

2nd Kathy Ingham and OB. CH. Ruskath Othentic Image

3rd Linda Rutherford and OB. CH. Colliewood Confidential

4th Lyn Green and Kuseley Diamond

5th Dot Watts and OB. CH. Zygdan Zyma

6th Christine Smeaton and OB. CH. Rockin at Glenbrittle

Crufts Video On Demand should have the rounds on tomorrow.

Today, they have had most of the Inter Regional event on VOD. We are only missing the Class B and Class C rounds. I expect they will be up soon.They were competing yesterday. The Southern Team won.

You can get all the results on the ObedienceUK web site.

Crufts Inter Regional Scores…

2009-03-05T11:20:00.001Z

Click here to get the scores.

Keep updating (refresh) your page – F5 – to get the latest as Sheila puts the score in live at the ring side for us.

You can click on either ‘Scores by Score’ or ‘Scores by Running Order’.

Crufts Live TV…

2009-03-05T11:02:00.001Z

If you are having trouble getting the live pictures up, make sure you have downloaded Active X control. Should be a line under the menu.

In response to a query, this is their reply:

“We recommend that our viewers use Internet Explorer v6 or above, and windows media player v9 or above. The latest versions of these can be downloaded from www.microsoft.com”

Then click here to watch.

Crufts Day One…

2009-03-05T09:35:00.001Z

To watch live coverage of the events in the Main Ring click here…

You have to register first.

Here is a list of todays activities…

Thursday 5 March

08.30 Agility – Starters – Jumping
09.00 Agility – KC International – Jumping
09.35 Agility – Team – Large Semi Finals
10.25 Training with Mary Ray
10.35 Freestyle HTM Competition
11.55 Agility – KC International – Slalom Knockout
12.30 Presentation of the Police Dog Team Operational and Humanitarian Action of the Year Award
12.35 West Midlands Police Dog Display
13.05 Agility – Eukanuba Mini/Maxi Pairs
13.50 Flyball – Team Quarter Finals
14.35 Agility – Starters – Agilitiy
15.05 Agility – Large – Team Finals
15.35 Agility – KC International – Agility
16.10 Freestyle HTM – 2nd
16.15 Break
17.15 YKC Agility Competition
17.45 Heelwork to Music – Freestyle (winner)
17.50 Kennel Gazette Junior Warrant Winner of the Year – Final
18.10 Group Judging (Terrier) and Presentation
19.00 Group Judging (Hound) and Presentation
19.50 Programme Ends

To listen to Crufts FM click here… Click the link on the right hand side.

Technorati Tags: Crufts web cam,Crufts Live coverage,Crufts FM.

Friends For Life videos…

Crufts Day One…

2009-03-05T09:05:00.001Z

To watch live coverage of the events in the Main Ring click here…

You have to register first.

There is a list of todays activities on the right hand side of the page.

To listen to Crufts FM click here… Click the link on the right hand side.

Technorati Tags: Crufts web cam,Crufts Live coverage,Crufts FM.

Crufts Starts Tomorrow…

2009-03-04T14:53:00.001Z

Once again, I am unable to go to Crufts this year. This is due to my health. The last time I went, a couple of years ago, wasn’t much fun. I left home on the Wednesday as usual, to book into the hotel. Then nipped over to the NEC to help DTW (Dog Training Weekly), set up their Stand.

I also tended to do my main ‘dog’ shopping on Wednesday too. Keith and Hazel run Petneeds, and have a large stand where you can buy everything you might need, especially if you work a dog. Through the year they go to most Obedience Shows with a stand. They have supported us for years and I’ve known them since they first started. I don’t get to the shows now, so the time I see them is at Crufts. However, you can order stuff from them through their web site now. Thank goodness.

My last visit wasn’t pleasant for me. Each morning I had a very bad tummy and had to spend a considerable time in the bathroom of the hotel I was staying in. This meant I arrived at the NEC very much later each day than I would normally. So I missed the Parade and all the early rounds.

I don’t know why I was so bad, but I know that stress can bring on a bad bout. I wasn’t stressed… or was I? I love every minute of Crufts. I get to meet up with people I’ve known for years. I love watching the Obedience Championships, the Team Events and the World Cup. I take photos and make notes on the rounds and use these for an article for the magazine. I often get to meet some of the Celebs that attend.

One year I had a long chat with Rolf Harris and met his wife. He really is a lovely man. Dearly Beloved used to take photos for me and he took several of Rolf… I must dig them out sometime!

I always met Wendy Richard on a stand too. I was very sorry to hear that she died on the 26th February.

I met Katie Boyle and one year Sir John Mills and his wife were there.

That was funny. Obviously, there were a considerable number of journalists surrounding him. You couldn’t get near him. So, with my little camera hanging around my neck and little tape recorder in my hand, I bent down and crawled on my hands and knees between the legs of everyone. I ended up right in front of them both and held out my mic and asked him a question. He took my mic and spoke into it, answering all other questions leaving my hands free to take photos. I was so proud to have met him and his wife. Can’t remember the year now with out digging out loads of papers and photos!

There have been many other interesting people I have met and interviews at Crufts. There is something special about Celebs who support Crufts as they can do a lot of good for dogs in general.

This Year at Crufts…

As I said, I can’t go… I just dare not risk it. I began writing this and suddenly had to stop to rush to the bathroom. Just knowing I’m going to miss it all again, is depressing for me.

But I will try and give you all the URL links that might interest you. First of all, if you would like to see a small write up and photo of each of the dogs competing in the Obedience Championships, click here…

Scroll down that page for a list of the Inter Regional Judge and the teams and the World Cup teams. I will also put a link up to the results at the end of each day.

As you may know, the BBC will not be filming at Crufts this year. But I understand that the Crufts Web Site will have a link to what is happening on YouTube. I suspect this will be mostly Breed Classes. We may have to pay something to watch any Obedience. I’ll let you know when I find out for sure.

Warning….

Animal Rights and PETA are planning to disrupt Crufts in various ways. I have also heard that they are now planning to approach cars with dogs in on there way to the NEC. Please be aware of this. They plan to let dogs out of the cars to free them. They say a dog run over is better off dead than being shown.

So if you are going to Crufts with your dog (or dogs), please keep a keen eye on them at all times. Don’t leave them on the benches alone at any time. It’s better to be safe than sorry.

Good Luck if you are competing.

Technorati Tags: Crufts,The Kennel Club,ObedienceUK,Obedience Championships,Team Events,World Cup,Sir John Mills,Katie Boyle,Wendy Richard,Rolf Harris,Dogs

And Then The Fight Started…

2009-02-28T17:55:00.001Z

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...
******************************************
My wife and I are watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And then the fight started....
******************************************
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the
radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started...
******************************************

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY !!!"

So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"

And then the fight started.....
*****************************************

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a scales.

And then the fight started...
******************************************
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station.

And then the fight started...
******************************************
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'

And then the fight started...
******************************************
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...
******************************************
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""
Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started...
******************************************
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And then the fight started.....

Back To a Restore Point…

2009-02-22T15:22:00.001Z

The other day I downloaded a Mahjong game to trial. It is the only game I have downloaded to try out on this laptop but I noticed the next day that Internet pages were taking a little longer to load up. I didn’t give it much thought… may be the ‘net was busy?

After a couple of days and after the trial period had expired, pages were still a little slower than normal… So I went to Control Panel and deleted/uninstalled from the programme.

Afterwards I noticed that an icon was still on my desktop so I just deleted it. But I wondered why it had remained after deleting properly? I know these things happen and that programmes often leave ‘things’ even when you think you’ve removed the original programme.

Now… a couple of days on, I see that pages are still slower to load than normal so I thought I’d go back to a restore point. It was Dearly Beloved’s suggestion. I would normally ignore any suggestion he made as regards a PC due to the dreadful mishaps he manages to make on his PC. But I thought he had a good point and it was worth giving it a try.

It’s not easy finding anything on Vista… It’s easy once you can find what you want… Finding it is the problem…Anyway, I got there. And I managed to go back further than just 5 days, which is what was displaying. I went back to the beginning of the month.

So for the next hour, I sat here waiting. Waiting for the restore point and re-booting. Then updating Windows Live… another long wait. Then I thought I had better check for Windows updates as I’d had several over the last month. Another length of time waiting for the updates and once again, re-booting.

Fingers crossed that things are back to normal now… I am not sure yet as I stopped to write this!

Any advice will be gratefully received…

Technorati Tags: Internet running slow,downloading updates

Rogue Traders on BBC 1…

2009-02-20T15:11:00.001Z

Last night I watched ‘Rogue Traders’ on BBC 1 which was billed as being about puppy farmers. Click the link to see the programme if you missed it.

I was very disappointed. I don’t think the two presenters took the situation seriously enough. Puppy farming is a BIG problem and there really ought to be a law against it. There are some restrictions but people get around these laws easily.

The programme did nothing to inform people of where or how to look for a puppy. It was just casually mentioned. It was more like watching a comedy programme on what I consider a VERY serious subject.

The link is an article from the RSPCA about the programme. They say they were there, but I am sure the reporters said that no RSPCA inspector was available to attend when they called the police. I may be wrong. I haven’t looked at the programme for a second chance to make sure. I understood that they attended afterwards… Bit late for the filming in my opinion!

RSPCA advice to consumers:

· Always see a puppy with its mother in the place where it was bred, and pay attention to the mother’s size, health, personality and reaction to the puppy – is it the real mother? Ideally see the father too. If you can’t see them, be suspicious

· Try to find out as much as possible about where the puppy has come from, and beware if the breeder is from outside the UK

· If you are told the puppy has been vaccinated, check the vaccination cards carefully. Be wary if the vet’s contact details are not visible, or have an address outside the UK

· Pedigree certificates are never a guarantee for the condition of your puppy, and may not even mean you are buying a pure-bred dog

· Never buy from someone who offers to deliver your puppy or arranges to meet you somewhere

· As hard as it will be, never buy a puppy just because you feel sorry for it

· If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t – use your common sense, and walk away

· If you are concerned about how you were sold the puppy, contact Consumer Direct on 08454 04 05 06

· If you have welfare concerns about puppies you have seen, contact the RSPCA on 0300 1234 999

· Always consider instead adopting a rescue dog from an animal welfare organisation.

I will add that if you are contacting a reputable breeder there is a good chance that you will NOT be able to see the sire (or father) of the pups. The reason being that the breeder will have studied the pedigree of the bitch (intended mother of the pups) and will have found a dog suitably out-crossed (no close in-breeding), and may well have travelled half the country to mate the bitch to the right dog.

It is common practice that you take your bitch to the dog. Not the other way round.

I would also advise that you check that the sire and the dam have had the available health checks for that breed. Do your research on the Internet before you visit a breeder. A good place to start in the UK is The Kennel Club.

There are links on the page with further advice. Look at the breeds of dogs you are thinking about. Check what health tests they should have.

The Kennel Club web site will have a list of puppies available from their registered breeders. After making an appointment with a breeder, go and visit. There is a good chance you will see several dogs in the place. Some may be related to your intended pup. You will get an idea of how your puppy will end up.

I would advise that you do not buy the first puppy you see. Never buy a puppy if you can’t see the mother with it.

Technorati Tags: Buying a puppy,dogs,rogue traders,puppy farms,The Kennel Club

Trimming The Dog’s Nails…

2009-02-19T16:04:00.001Z

Stood, sat sitting here on the settee with Jade lying beside me upside down having a kip and her tummy tickled, I realised it was about time I cut her nails! In fact, the other three needed their nails done too. I don’t mind doing it, but Jade hates having it done and there is generally a bit of a struggle.

Luckily, my grooming box was beside the settee, so I reached over and got the clippers out, being careful not to disturb Jade too much. If she woke and saw them in my hand, she’d have jumped off the settee and gone and hidden under my bed or somewhere equally in accessible.

I quietly unclipped the bit that holds the clippers shut and got a firm grip on the handles. Jade is a dog that doesn’t really like her paws stroked, but she was quite relaxed and let me gently hold one. I managed to get the fur out of the way on one of the middle toes on a front leg and clipped! She hardly noticed what I was doing.

She cottoned on after the next nail, but didn’t rush off. I got the two middle nails clipped on both her front feet. Then she made her escape. I was so pleased that she had remained so calm I gave her a titbit. I thought I’d leave the other nails till I had someone to help hold her with me.

Next to get on the settee was Jazz. I had left the clippers out and handy to reach. Jazz stretched out and exposed her tummy to be tickled… and I made my move. She never blinked an eye and I got all her nails done quickly between cuddles.

Katie was next. She lay on her back and I did both her back feet nails… Then one on the front when she’d had enough. Chris came in to help hold her and cuddle her and I got the rest done easily.

Titch was next. He’s a big strong boy but such a baby. He buried his head in my lap which made it awkward to get to his nails… Chris came to the rescue and held him. I got them all done. His nails only needed tipping. They weren’t too bad at all.

Titbits all round. It was getting late so I thought I’d finish Jade off today sometime. I don’t know why she hates it so much. I’ve never cut too far and had her bleed. She just hates it.

I’m a firm believer that if you teach a puppy to accept you handling their feet and tipping the ends of their nails, it makes life a lot less stressful when you need to trim the hair from between the toes and around the pads and clip the nails when they are older. Collies need their feet trimmed. Short haired dogs don’t necessarily.

I’ve had Jade since a 6 weeks old pup… Titch, Jazz and Katie, I bred, so have tipped their nails and trimmed the fur from when they were babies. Katie went to a new owner but she was here at lot when the man was working. So she’s no trouble really either.

Why Titch should make such a fuss, I don’t know? He is such a big softy. If you say ‘Show me!’, and go to check his ear or his teeth or a paw. He will keep perfectly still till you release him. But pick up the nail clippers and it’s a different story. He behaved a little like an ostrich… trying to bury its head in the sand. Under your arm in Titch’s case!

Technorati Tags: dogs,nail trimming

Wrong Date Again…!

2009-02-18T12:59:00.001Z

Last night I went to town clearing the kitchen. Emptying the dish washer and filling it up and putting it on. Then I sorted some things out and wiped all the surfaces leaving the place looking great.

Chris vacuumed the carpet in the sitting room last thing so it would be free of dog hairs in the morning.

We were expecting a new nurse to arrive to meet Dave at 11am. Apparently she is a heart specialist or something. She keeps an eye on people with heart problems in and around our area. As she hadn’t met Dave, she wanted to introduce her self. Hence my panic to get the house sorted and looking reasonable clean.

This morning, I really wanted to turn over in bed and go back to sleep. But I got up as usual and fed the dogs. Why does one feel extra tired when you know you have to get up?

I got dressed and sorted the couple of things kindly left on the side in the kitchen. No one else realises that we have a sink with a bowl in it and constant hot water and washing up liquid. So it’s not hard to wash just one bowl… or is it? Seems in this house that since having a dish washer, no one knows how to wash up by hand any more!

So I cleared the sink and picked up a duster to go over the surfaces in the sitting room. Then turned a chair a bit for the nurse to sit in. The chair was facing the TV and if she was going to sit in it, she needed to be facing the room and us.

Then I made a coffee for me and Chris and a tea for Dave and sat down and booted up my laptop.

I read the emails and Janice had sent a joke that I transferred over to my Spaces Blog. Then went to put it on my Blogger site. Nothing appeared on the page? It looked like all my blogs had been wiped away except for the right hand side bar. Most odd?

Dave was sitting in his chair and had commented that the nurse was 10 minutes late…

The phone rang. Must be the nurse asking how to get to us. I answered… I have won a cruise around the Caribbean. How lucky am I? But I didn’t have time to speak to the caller so I put the phone down.

“Ahum…” grunted Dave reading a letter. “The nurse is due next Wednesday… Not today!”

I took a deep breath and locked my mouth shut and sat on my hands to prevent myself strangling him.

Looking on the bright side (if there is one), I am sitting in a room free of dog hairs… This won’t last long!

Back to publishing my Blogger blog. I was at a loss as to what had happened and the thought went through my mind that someone had hacked into it and erased all my blogs.

The other odd thing about today was that when I logged on and tried to download my emails I was asked to sign in. Normally, Windows Mail just downloads instantly.

I had also been asked to sign into Messenger. Normally that logs on as soon as I boot up.

When I went to switch off last night, I had a Windows up-date so let it do it before closing the lid of the laptop. I thought may be that had something to do with everything this morning… All this signing in.

Do you remember all the passwords you use for different programmes? I sure as ‘ell don’t! Years ago, I always used the same password but was soon advised that it was not a good idea! So I’ve stopped doing that… Which means I can never remember what password I have used for which programme!

Anyway… I digress! Back to publishing the post. I write my blogs on Windows Live Writer… have done for ages. Then publish, one after the other, to my two blogs.

Back to being asked for my password again on Blogger. I had got my saved page up from my Favourites this time and tried signing in… That worked and up came what they call the ‘Dashboard’. So I tried posting again. No luck!

I closed everything and started again… Was asked for my password… again… and popped in the first one I had tried… and hey presto! It worked. I must have typed it wrong the first time. Silly me! I published and all was well this time.

Now what else can go wrong today?

Making a Baby…

2009-02-18T11:44:00.001Z

This is hilarious!
There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny!--

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...'

'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'

'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?'

'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat !.

After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'

'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'

'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'

'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'

'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.

'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'

'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.

'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.'

'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.

'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look'

'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?'

'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.'

'Tripod?'

'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.'

Mrs. Smith fainted

How Many Women…?

2009-02-17T16:39:00.001Z

My daughter-in-law just sent this to me… And I know exactly how she feels. I have the same problem here at my house & I don’t have PMT!

*******

Q: How many women with PMT does it take to change a light bulb?

Woman's Answer:
One!
ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY?

Because no one else in this f***n house knows HOW to change a f***n light bulb! They don't even know that the f***n bulb is BURNED OUT!!
They would sit in the dark for THREE f***n DAYS before they figured it out.
And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the god damned light bulbs despite the fact that they've been
in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS!

But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the f***n chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME f***n SPOT!!!!!

AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER
THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO F**er EVER PICKS UP OR CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!!

IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL
SUFFOCATED FROM THE F***N PILES OF GARBAGE THAT
ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE F***N HOUSE!!

IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND
DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES
THE F***N TOILET PAPER ROLL !!

I'm sorry.
What was the question?

*****

So when my husband or my youngest son (who lives with us), reads this… Please change the bulb in the wall light in the sitting room! It blew out two weeks ago. I’ve given up asking you both!

Do You Hate Your Job…?

2009-02-17T12:52:00.001Z

When you have an 'I Hate My Job day' [Even if you're retired, you sometimes have those days] Try this out:

On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand.

When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed. Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair.

Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.

Now the fun part begins. Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement:

'Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson &Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized.'

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, 'I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson.'

HAVE A NICE DAY AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE ASS THAN YOURS!

.........Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart ... then you are just a sour old fart. Maybe you should go and work for Johnson & Johnson ! ! ! ! !

Saskatchewan Home Security!

2009-02-16T11:27:00.001Z

That’s the way to do it!

Enjoy…

2009-02-15T12:43:00.001Z

I hope this short video lightens your day.

There is just so much sadness and cruelty in the world. Hopefully this will take your mind of your troubles for a short while.

This is one of the sweetest videos I have seen in ages.

Have a good day.

Oh, I Wish I'd Looked After Me Tits

2009-02-13T14:50:00.001Z

By Pam Ayres

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me dear old knockers,

Not flashed them to boys behind the school lockers,

Or let them get fondled by randy old dockers,

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits .

'Cos now I'm much older and gravity's winning.

It's Nature's revenge for all that sinning,

And those dirty memories are rapidly dimming,

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.

'Cos tits can be such troublesome things

When they no longer bounce, but dangle and swing.

And although they go well with my Bingo wings,

I wish I'd looked after me tits.

When they're both long enough to tie up in a bow,

When it's not the sweet chariot that swings low,

When they're less of a friend and more of a foe,

Then I wish I'd looked after me tits.

When I was young I got whistles and hoots,

From the men on the site to the men in the suits,

Now me nipples get stuck in the zips on me boots,

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.

When I was younger I rode bikes and scooters,

Cruising around with my favourite suitors.

Now the wheels get entangled with my dangling hooters,

I wish I'd looked after me tits.

When they follow behind and get trapped in the door,

When they're less in the air and more near the floor,

When people see less of them rather than more,

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.

Snow Again…

2009-02-13T14:27:00.001Z

Is this not typical of this country? The writing at the top of the picture says:

Dear Boss,

I can’t come into work today. When I woke up this morning there was 20 inches of snow outside my back door. I took the photo to prove it to you.

Hopefully I will be in tomorrow after the snow has melted.

Last night we had an inch of snow fall in large flakes. It was so beautiful. The dogs had a great time playing and rolling around in it. They all came in white where the snow had settled on their backs. But at least they weren’t muddy! Just wet.

Last weeks snow… Friday morning is the day the rubbish is collected. Well… it’s the day it is generally collected. Not last week. I wonder why? I mentioned that we had had some snow, but not that much that a vehicle couldn’t get down our lane. We had no trouble driving up or down it. Nor did the lorries from the lorry park down the other end.

But obviously, our rubbish disposal truck found it just too much!

We had more snow last night. Not a lot, but about an inch. It is melting fast this morning as the sun is out. Hubby went down to the surgery earlier for his bloods to be taken… and our dustbins are still not emptied! And it’s a week later. Obviously too dangerous for the drivers in the snow again? OMG… I give up.

Yesterday we had a nice surprise… A week ago we ordered some more oil. I can’t be without my central heating and the tank was getting a bit low. Dearly beloved phoned around and settled on a firm called ‘WCF Fuels – Eastern’.

For 2000 kerosene it was going to be £700.00 odd. It isn’t cheap now. The day before delivery Dave got an email from the firm. As they had four other customers to deliver to in the surrounding area, they were deducting £100.00 off the bill.

What a pleasant surprise, especially in this day and age with our economic climate where other firms are going out of business. If you live in their area, I suggest you give them a try if you need more oil. The snow didn’t stop them coming to us!

Think I’ll have to hook up the trailer and take our rubbish up to the council tip myself! I’ve got more stuff that can go up at the same time… I’ve been meaning to take it.

Smash & Grab… The other evening Dave did something he doesn’t often do. He actually got up off his backside and took his plate out to the kitchen when he’d finished eating!

Then there was an almighty smash as he went to save it from falling on the kitchen stone tiled floor. He missed! There were only about three large pieces. The rest was tiny little shards that had managed to spread over the entire kitchen floor. I got up to look… I couldn’t believe how it had scattered.

I rushed for the hoover as Dave stood there in his socks, mouth agape! Wish I’d taken a photo… Couldn’t as the battery is flat – remember?

The biggest problem was keeping the dogs off the area and Dave who was by now walking around picking up small shards of china on the bottom of his socks. Men!!!

After I’d yelled at him a few times to get out of the way… I did manage to clear it all up with no cut paws (most important), or cut feet, in Dave’s case.

Battery Charger… We had to order a charger for the camera… I never did find the old one. Don’t think we actually had one. Something similar, but this camera’s battery didn’t fit in it. It arrived yesterday so I can now take some photos. A bit late to take the dogs in the snow now as most of it has melted already!

DOGS Victoria Bushfire Appeal

2009-02-11T13:39:00.001Z

If you would like to make a monetary donation toward helping dog owners and their pets who have been affected by the bush fires please use the following methods:

ELECTRONIC FUNDS TRANSFER

***************************

INTERNATIONAL VIRTUAL DOG SHOW

All money raised will be shared among our members who are victims of the bushfires
A catalogue of ‘the show’ will be given to each of our affected members as a sign of the support of their friends
Copies of the catalogue will also be available on the website
The catalogue will simply show breed, dog’s name and owner’s name. Why not make an entry in the name of your favourite dog that may no longer still be with you?
ANY dog is eligible to enter as there will be special classes for "dogs from mixed marriages" and "rainbow bridge" (dearly departed dogs),

Enter as many dogs as you like

Fires in Australia 2

2009-02-11T00:14:00.001Z

I have just had another email from Jill…

We have stood in front of our TV screens watching the latest live news and felt so sad. Then when the news comes through of people you know it puts a personal face on the tragedy and hurts even worse.

In the west here the dog community is raising money as that seems to be the only thing we can do. I have a super kennel complex with room for at least 18 dogs. We don't use the kennels because our dogs live in the house with us, but I have opened our doors to anyone who has to go East in a hurry to be with family or help with the fires and offered to keep their dogs here with no boarding fees. We already have nine dogs coming to 'visit'. It is only a small thing but they at least know their dogs will be okay while they are away.

My friend’s brother in law fly's one of the water bombers and he was able to clear a path for a convoy of cars fleeing the fires which saved their lives. Talk about being in the right place at the right time. It was one good story to come out of it.

There are still 20 fires burning uncontrolled but thankfully the temperatures have dropped. At present the winds are southerly. If they change to easterly, another four townships will be threatened.

Here in the West our temperatures are going to 40 degrees plus this week ,so hopefully we will not have any fire lighting idiots around.

As we live at the end of a no through road my neighbours and I have arranged with the owners of property to the back of us that, if ever such a fire hit us, we can unlock his gates and go through that way if needs be. We have all become very safety fire conscious after this.

Cheers Jill

Fires In Australia…

2009-02-10T15:04:00.001Z

You will have read about the fires and seen pictures on the News programmes on TV.

This morning, I had the following email from a friend who now lives in Australia. It is one thing seeing the horrors on the news. It’s another altogether when you hear the personal story of the situation from a friend.

I warn you. Have a tissue ready. I cried the whole way through reading Jill’s email….

Hi friends,

I expect you will have heard about the terrible fires in Victoria, many of the people you met Dave and Mary*, have been caught up in this, and relatives of those you met whilst here Jenny** are having a very worrying time.

Yesterday we heard that two of our members had loaded their dogs and horses to get out when a fireball was upon them Mal and Faye got into an adjoining paddock and laid flat, miraculously the fire missed them but all their beloved dogs and horses were gone. Their house, stables, cars everything incinerated.

Further up the hill a Malamute breeder was trying to get everything together but they were trapped. He, his wife, two children and all their dogs are gone. Boarding kennels full of dogs completely burnt to the ground.

It is horrendous, one of Karen’s friend's (you would remember her Dave and Mary. She had dinner with us at Anne Bulke's place). She was seven months pregnant. She tried to get away from the flames carrying a wet blanket. Sadly her body was found under the blanket in the road a measly ten metres away from safety.

The dog community is pulling together to try to help but the danger is not over. Karen's sister lives in Hillsville and the fire is now threatening them. We heard today that she has evacuated and is safe at a relief centre.

The worst of all this is that the fires were deliberately lit. Those people are mass murderers. The death toll is expected to reach 200 but the loss of animals will be in the thousands.

Amanda*** and I were due to go over last weekend to run a DWD seminar, when we received a phone call telling us not to go. Little did we realise the horror that was about to unfold.

Keep all these people in your prayers and hope to see you all next year to tell you of the remarkable recovery of many of these people.

Cheers Jill

* Dave and Mary Ray have taken training courses for dogs and handlers in Australia.

** Jenny Lunn has also taken a training course quite recently.

***Amanda is Jill’s daughter.

Please spare some prayers for all the families and their animals that are suffering so dreadfully through this horrendous time.

I will let Jill know I have posted her email here, so if you would like to leave a comment, hopefully she may find the time to read it.

Water or Wine?

2009-02-07T14:37:00.001Z

To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine.. And those who don't.

As Ben Franklin said : In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 litre of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. Coli) - bacteria found in faeces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember : Water = Poop Wine = Health

Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk kak, than to drink water and be full of kak.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing this as a public service.

Snow, Wet & Slushy…

2009-02-06T16:18:00.001Z

Woke up yesterday to a beautiful white clean looking garden with snow everywhere. It always looks so lovely before there are foot prints over it.

The dogs popped out for their first widdle of the day except little Jazz. She stood on the kitchen step – turned to look at me – as if ask 'who painted the patio white?’ A little encouragement, and she stepped into the snow. She has seen it before but only about once, I think.

I went in to get their breakfast ready for when I called them in. Then I stood looking out of the window. All four dogs were having so much fun chasing eachother around the place. When I opened the back door, they all bounced in for their food.

Later in the day when they were taken out, it was a pleasure to bring in dogs with just wet feet and not muddy from top to tail…

This morning, I trimmed up all the fur between their toes. They hate getting balls of snow on their feet. It can make it hard to walk. I put my warmest coat on, a pair of gloves, put the camera in my pocket and set off for a walk with two of them. Jade and Jazz.

Chris has taken Titch and Katie off in his car. He’d gone shopping. He’ll run them when he gets back, or will stop somewhere before he brings them home.

The two girls and I got going. My lane outside the bungalow is really wet and muddy looking though the ground is quite solid under foot. But there had been several lorries and a tractor of two up and down so it looked dirty.

I turned into the fields to walk up by our local Gun Club. No one was out shooting. The girls were sniffing around and running here, there and everywhere. Thoroughly enjoying themselves. I took the camera out of my pocket and put it on… The screen went black? ‘Oh no!’ I had let the battery go flat. So no pics of the dogs playing I am afraid.

Here is a video of a friend of mine taking her collies for a walk last Tuesday. Wendy has a lovely place not too far away from me. About an hour away. She runs regular training days and helps raise money for our ObedienceUK Fund. The field the dogs start off running in is hers… then through the gate at the end and she’s in the woods.

I hope you enjoy the video.

They Walk Among Us…

2009-02-03T17:56:00.001Z

*Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.'

For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.' The next day someone stole it.*

*Caution... They Walk Among Us!*

*One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted....'Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked up at the sky and said...'where???'*

**They Walk among us!!*
****
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach. She drove down in a convertible, but 'didn't
think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving'.*
**They Walk Among Us!!!!*
***
I told the girl at the steakhouse register that I wanted the half kilogram sirloin. She informed me they only had an 500g sirloin. Not wanting to make a scene, I told her I would take the 500g steak instead of the half-kgr.*
**They walk among us! *
****
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped She keeps it in the boot..*
**They Walk Among Us!!!!!*
***
My friends and I were on a Lager run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.... *
**They Walk Among Us!!!!!!*
***
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up.
She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, 'Has your plane arrived yet?'...*
**They Walk Among Us!!!!!!!!*
***
While working at a pizza parlour I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding.
'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.*
**Yep, They Walk Among Us, too.!!!!!!!!*

*Sadly, not only do they walk among us, they also reproduce!!!!*

Rude Customers…

2009-02-03T17:18:00.001Z

For all Who Work With Rude Customers, shame WE can't actually do this!

An award should go to the Virgin Airlines desk attendant in Sydney some months ago for being smart and funny, while making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo…

A crowded Virgin flight was cancelled after Virgin's 767s had been withdrawn from service. A single attendant was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers.

Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, 'I HAVE to be on this flight and it HAS to be FIRST CLASS'.

The attendant replied, 'I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these people first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out.'

The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, 'DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?'

Without hesitating, the attendant smiled and grabbed her public address microphone: 'May I have your attention please, may I have your attention please,' she began - her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal - 'We have a passenger here at Desk 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Desk 14.'

With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the Virgin attendant, gritted his teeth and said, 'F*** You!'

Without flinching, she smiled sweetly and said, 'I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to get in line for that too.

Birthday Girls…

2009-02-02T12:06:00.001Z

Today is the birthday of my Jazz & Katie and the rest of the litter. They are 5 today… Goodness how time flies! It seems like only last week that Jade produced 6 beautiful puppies. 4 boys and two girls.

Jade had an easy pregnancy but for the first time, I had her scanned to see how many puppies she might be having. I was told there were at least 7 and possibly 8 in there! So after the 6th pup was born with no sign of another coming, I gave her a little run around the garden, hopefully, to get her started again.

Nothing happened as she settled down to feed the babies. I rang my vet asking him if he could pop out and check her for me. It’s better to be safe than sorry.

He arrived shortly afterwards and told me there weren’t any more puppies waiting to be born. I knew this really but had worried unnecessarily because of the scan.

This was the third Border Collie litter I had bred. Previously, I had bred several German Shepherd litters, so I did have experience. I would never waste the money again for a scan as it cost me, not only the cost of the scan, but the cost of calling my vet out too. If I remember rightly, it was the weekend when prices are always higher!

They were a lovely litter, as the first litter had been. I always enjoy rearing puppies. I never leave them. Jade gave birth in the whelping box erected in what we call the PC room. I used our put-you-up bed beside the box. If I had gone and slept in my bedroom, Jade would have followed me in there when I went to bed! It’s her normal sleeping place.

All went well as I was able to sit at my desktop and get on the internet and keep a close eye on things.

Once I start feeding, Jade looks at me and says: ‘You can look after them now!’ She was so good though. I’d feed them and get them drinking goats milk, but Jade would give them an extra feed when I asked her to. She also tried to do all the cleaning up!

By the time they were eating solid food, I was able to start playing with them. I always keep lots of assorted toys around, all with different textures, for them to get used to. It wasn’t long before I was able to play gentle tuggies with them. They all learnt their names and would come when called.

By this time, I had transferred them into the conservatory which had a wooden floor and two doors that opened out to the patio. The weather was quite mild so they began to use outside to do their business.

I also took them out in the car twice, down to our friends house. They had close relatives to my dogs. Also, as they didn’t run their dogs on common land, on the second visit the pups were allowed out into their garden to explore.

The reason I take my puppies out in my car is to get them used to travelling to help when they go off to their new homes. I also had to visit the Animal Health Trust near Newmarket to have their eyes and hearing tested at 6 weeks, before they left home.

As it turned out, we had a long day down at the AHT, so I was glad they were happy in the car. It seemed that everyone in the area had a litter to be screened!

Eventually, most left home between 7 and 8 weeks. They were all going to experienced BC handlers, so I was happy. But it didn’t stop me crying my eyes out as they left home!

I kept Jazz from the litter, so I still had one, which helped. Our friends had Katie. They lived a half an hours journey away and they visited us a couple of times a week, or we drove down to them.

Charlie, the red and white boy, had picked his owner… Angela. We call her the Vicar of Dibley as she is a vicar and doesn’t live far away.

Having said that, as I write this, she is about to move up to Scotland to do her vicaring in a new parish up there. So I won’t see Charlie much when she leaves at the end of this month. Charlie has found his one love… He does Flyball and loves it.

One of the other puppies was Whizz – Whizzie Wizard – who went to a working home. I am very proud of Whizz. He won his way through all the Obedience classes right through to Class C and has now won that class and has a qualifier. One more and he can work Championship C, the very top class. A win in Champ C means he can go to Crufts and compete in the Championships. I am very proud of Whizz and his lovely owner.

My friend’s wife died three years ago, which is why I have Katie back home with me. She was her baby. Katie is here to stay now. I love her so much. She’s settled in as if she had never left home in the first place. But then, she was here most weeks anyway!

I haven’t seen the other two boys… Pity really. I would to. But they live a long way away.

Happy Birthday to all my babies… I love you and miss you all.

Snow Everywhere …

2009-02-02T09:45:00.001Z

It tried to snow yesterday without a lot of success… Just small flakes drifting slowly down. This morning we are covered. It’s no more than a covering but down south here in the UK, they are in real trouble. This country comes to a virtual stand-still when we get a little snow. No London buses or Underground trains are running except one that doesn’t go overland at all.

Other countries seem to carry on almost as normal when they get snow… Not the UK. We grind to a halt! How are you coping where you are?

My dogs love the snow, so I’ll take them out shortly after I’ve posted this.

One up to the seniors

2009-02-01T14:44:00.001Z

A very self-important college freshman attending a recent football game took
it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it
was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation.
"You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one," the
student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear. "The young people
of today grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, man walking on the
moon, our spaceships have visited Mars. We have nuclear energy, electric and
hydrogen cars, computers with DSL, bsp; light-speed processing ....and," he
paused to take another drink of beer.

The Senior took advantage of the break in the student's litany and said,
"You're right, son. We didn't have those things when we were young.....so we
invented them. Now, you arrogant little shit, what are you doing for the next
generation?"
The applause was resounding...

A Child’s Painting…

2009-01-31T16:47:00.001Z

This is an actual picture from a child at school.

After it was graded and the child brought it home. The child returned to school the next day with the following note from her mother:

Dear Ms. Davis,
I want to be very clear on my child's illustration. It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint. I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm.
This photo is of me selling a shovel.
Mrs. Harrington

Perks of Reaching 50+….

2009-01-30T21:57:00.001Z

Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!
01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
04. People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?
05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
07. Things you buy now won't wear out.
08. You can eat supper at 4pm.
09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator music.
14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints (or your headaches) are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down.

The On-Going Saga of Our Radiators…

2009-01-28T16:28:00.001Z

What have I said already about our radiators? I said we had let the air out about 5 times… But still, after a while, the top half went cold and the bottom stayed hot… So the house hasn’t been freezing, but it hasn’t warmed up as much as it should, or usually does. I’ve been putting one of my mother’s shawls round my shoulders for that little extra warmth.

Pete, our man who put the new shower in, arrived to do another job for us. He checked them out and also bled them. Still no luck after about half an hour.

Dave rang the help line we have. We have some insurance we pay a little each month that means we can call someone out to fix a problem. A man came out first thing the next morning. A lovely man… I have to say that as my dogs all fell in love with him and nearly licked him to death! He has a boxer, he told me. He used to have five, all but one were rescues. He obviously knows dogs. My dogs sensed it. l ways trust people who my dogs accept.

He bled the radiators for us and also tried adding some water to one. Made sense to me as there had been so much air in the system. He left… Then rang us a couple of hours later. I went and felt the radiators… All back to normal… NOT WORKING… He popped back and bled them again and left his firm’s office number and said to ring them if they weren’t working again after he had left.

Needless to say… They still went cold. Dave rang the firm. This was last Friday, a week after Pete had tried to fix the problem. They’d send a man out after 2.00pm on Monday. That was fine as far as we were concerned. I just continued to wear a shawl over my sweater. It was either that or a coat!

Monday afternoon arrived… We were ready for the plumber to arrive… But he hadn’t got here by 4pm. Dave rang the firm. ‘The plumber was definitely on his way…’ they told him. So we waited…. and waited…. and waited. Dave rang again. Same answer; ‘Plumber was delayed but he will be there.’ Fine… So we waited some more.

At 5.15pm Dave rang yet again… ‘Our man was delayed… He’ll be there sometime after 12 noon tomorrow!’

Around 4.30pm Tuesday, a man did arrive. Another nice man. At least this rather unreliable firm hired pleasant people to work for them. This chap knew nothing about our appointment from yesterday, but said they were very busy at the minute.

I told him that all his firm had to do was ring us and be honest and say there was delay… and could we wait till the next day? Of course we could. It wasn’t an emergency… there was no flooding of water everywhere, and the radiators did let off some heat.

By this time, Dave had had a good look at the boiler in the shed. He thought there was a bit of a problem with it… So I led the man to the shed… Turns out, that was were the problem lay. He then had to bleed the radiators again… How many times is that now? I’ve forgotten!

He said there may be a problem… If there was, he’d replace something or other… He’ll ring in a day or two, or we should call the firm.

So far, so good. No problem… All the radiators are – at last – working fine and are hot from bottom to top. I’ve put my shawl away again!

I hope that is the end of the boring saga!

Acts2:38

2009-01-28T15:45:00.001Z

A woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church
services, when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man in the
act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled: 'Stop! Acts2:38!'
(Repent and be Baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ , so that your sins
may be forgiven.)

The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and
explained what she had done.

As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar: 'Why
did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to
you.'

'Scripture?' replied the burglar. 'She said she had an Ax and Two 38s!'

To All My Pet Readers…

2009-01-27T11:37:00.001Z

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats:

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It i s not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered.

Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:
(1) They live here. You don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

(1) eat less,
(2) don't ask for money all the time,
(3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don't hang out with drug-using people;
(7) don't smoke or drink,
(8) don't want to wear your clothes,
(9) don't have to buy the latest fashions,
(10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
(11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children ..

Peace & Quiet at Home… NOT!!!

2009-01-26T16:21:00.001Z

Phone call last week:

“Can we stay a night at yours? We’re off down to London… ?” It was Martin, Chris’ friend who lives in Scotland. He and his wife Gail were meeting up with his family and friends and were also going to see a show.

This is a very small bedroom and we don’t have much room so Chris got the small caravan organised for them to stay in it. He put the little electric heater in on a low setting a couple of days before they were due to arrive. They, typically, arrived at 5.30am Friday morning! The outside lights came on and the dogs barked so I got out of bed to look… It was them.

I went to welcome them as I saw Chris go outside to bring them in. I had to detour straight into the bathroom. It was another bad morning for me and my tummy! Chris made them a cup of tea as I went back to my bedroom to take some tablets. I was then in and out of the bathroom for the next half an hour and only managed a quick ‘Hello!’ between trips.

It was the first time I had met Gail. She’s a lovely girl born and bred in Glasgow. They departed to the caravan for some sleep after telling us that their first hour of driving had been in driving snow so it was slow going to start with.

They came back into the house around the middle of the afternoon where Martin cooked them both bacon and eggs. Martin has stayed with us enough times now that I am happy for him to take over my kitchen when he wants to.

The day before I had cooked a lovely stew of beef in red wine sauce… After we had eaten, it went into the fridge. I knew they’d eat it later… which they did. In fact there was still enough for us all to have some. Why is a meal like that always better the following day?

Mean while as I explained in an earlier blog, I had a plumber in and out trying to fix the radiators. After the second visit, I thought they were fixed… but as luck would have it. They weren’t. The top half of most of the radiators were cool to cold while the bottom half were quite hot! So there was still air in them… Something was wrong.

Dave rang the firm up… They are due to arrive at any minute… today Monday. Fingers crossed they solve the problem this time.

Martin and Gail took off for London on Saturday morning. Peace and quiet at last. I love having them here… but the place is so small and Martin is so tall – well over 6 foot – there really isn’t much room if we are all in the same one!

To Drink or Not To Drink…

Not sure if I’ve mentioned this before, but I have always enjoyed a glass of wine in the evening or when out with friends. I seldom drank more than one glass here at home… But I did enjoy it. Months ago, I went right off it. In fact, over Christmas I had a small glass of Baileys, and that’s all.

I love the taste of Baileys and discovered that our local Co-op sells a similar drink for a good few pounds cheaper. So I bought a bottle or two. Dave likes the odd glass and Chris, who doesn’t normally drink, also likes a shot in a cup of coffee. Over the last week, I’ve had some and while Martin and Gail were here, I had a couple of glasses too.

I noticed that my tummy was very bad every morning for consecutive days but I hadn’t been having a dreadfully swollen tummy in the evenings. Most odd? I wondered if the little drink might have had anything to do with it? After all, it’s very rich, sweet and creamy. So for the last two evenings, I haven’t had a drink of it. And Martin – bless him – bought me two bottles of the stuff as a thank you for letting them stay.

My tummy has been fine for the last two days… Since not having a drink at night. I have no real stress either as Dearly Beloved has been fine and hasn’t had a mood swing since coming out of hospital. Not sure of his mood today though. He’s a little upset that the plumber still hasn’t arrived! He’s just rung the firm. They said he is coming today! It’s 4.10pm as I write this… So there isn’t much of today - in work hours - left now!

Chris is about to take off down to London to meet Martin and Gail and other friends. He does this every now and again… But he’ll be back late tonight or tomorrow morning before it’s light. He never leaves his dogs for too long.

If this plumber would just come… fix the problem and go… We will have a very nice quiet evening with no arguments as to which channel to watch! I shall take control of the remote… LOL

SPAGHETTI...

2009-01-26T14:27:00.001Z

For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman.
One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin
His reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she
Would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise
The child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.
She agreed, but asked how he would know when ! The baby was born.

To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write 'Spaghetti' on the back. He Would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
'Honey, 'she said, 'You received a very strange post card today.'
'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said. The wife obeyed
And watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.

On the card was written:

'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.

Three with meatballs, two without.

Send extra sauce.

It's All Happening Here...

2009-01-23T09:46:00.000Z

My tummy has been playing me up for the last four days. Typical that the stress of dearly beloved’s emergency departure to hospital affects me after the event… But that’s how it is with me.

Turns out I had an appointment with my consultant – about my tummy – while Dave was in the hospital. Stupid me… I didn’t remember. Could be because I had other things on my mind? LOL Yesterday, I got a letter from the hospital to say they had made another appointment for me in April. Dave rang them up. That’s when we found out I had missed an appointment.

Silly me… I was in the hospital anyway… and could so easily have kept the appointment. I do so want to see if there is anything they can do.

Friends Arriving… If anyone stays with us, we have to put them up in our little towing caravan. There just isn’t room in the house. A friend of Chris’ wanted to pass by on his way down to London. Could he stay for a couple of night? Of course… it would be lovely to see him and his fairly new wife. I hadn’t met her before though my son’s went up to Scotland for their wedding.

They left Scotland late last night and spent the next hour driving through heavy snow! They arrived about 5.45am this morning. The dogs barked so I got up… I couldn’t meet them. I had to go straight to the Loo! Back into my bedroom and took some tablets… went out to say hello… then a mad rush back to the bathroom! This went on for about twenty minutes to half an hour.

Then I managed to sit down in the kitchen (closest place to the bathroom), and have a ciggie, a coffee and a chat with them. Around seven, they went off to get some sleep as they had been driving all night.

The Plumber Arrives… Since Pete moved the bathroom radiator up higher on the wall when he did the bathroom for us, the radiators in most rooms have been temperamental! Lower half on with the top half cold. Not good. Bubbly gurgling noises often emanating from some of them. Dave bled them. Obviously, there was a lot of air in the system. They were fine for a day… Same problem occurred again. We bled them again. Pete arrived the other day to fix a post in the fencing. It had blown down due to the high winds we’ve had. He bled them while he was here.

We must have bled them five times at least now… and still they weren’t fixed. Dave called the emergency help yesterday. We have a policy through the bank for help with things that can go wrong around the house and garden. The man arrived this morning at 8 o’clock. He found the problem and I think it’s fixed now… Well I hope it is. No fun having radiators in the rooms with half of them not working properly!

Mean while I have taken extra tablets. I’ve now had double the normal amount I would take. I’m feeling a little ‘safer’. Not having to rush to the bathroom. So I switched on my laptop and caught up on some blogs.

Missed Blogs… Turns out I have missed reading quite a few friend’s blogs over the last few days. I missed where Penny wrote that she had got her new puppy. I missed when Technogran said she’d do a blog on a problem I have with posting to both Spaces and Blogger after writing my blog in Windows Live Writer… Gawd knows how of why I’ve missed these blogs?

Actually, it’s because I don’t get my Spaces Home page up often. It irritates me that they put who said what to whom on the page… and I’m not the least bit interested in who said what to whom! Oh I do wish they’d left Spaces alone. I tend to go straight to my blog and check for comments below my posts.

Blogger is handy as it gives me a list of the latest updates on blogs I read… But if I haven’t added some friend’s blogs to my list, I don’t get the update, obviously! Over the last week or so, I have tended to visit my friends who have left comments and catch up that way.

Even doing that on Spaces irritates me now as you have to click around a bit to get to their blog. It used to be one click and you were there. I seem to spend more time trying to find a friend’s blog than I do reading them… That’s if I do find them! LOL

That’s enough rambling and moaning!

Dearly Beloved is Home Now...

2009-01-20T18:52:00.000Z

He rang me this morning to say, yet again, that he should be allowed home today. After the false alarm yesterday, I wasn’t really too hopeful. I’d rather he was in hospital than out, if he’s not really completely back on his feet.

So I sat around waiting for another phone call. He told me not to go up at visiting time… just sit and wait for his call. At 3 o’clock, he rang. I could go and collect him. Great… But I had no intention of rushing as I have never waited less than an hour in the past. There is always something. Either he hasn’t got down to what he and I call the ‘Departure Lounge’ or his tablets haven’t arrived or they’ve lost his prescription or there isn’t a Porter about to wheel him out of the ward. You name it, there has always been something that generally means a good hour – more likely two hours – before he can actually leave the hospital.

So I got myself organised, took some tablets to bind me so I was safe to travel. I rolled some ciggies and nagged my son to get organised. We put the four dogs in the car and off we set about 3/4 of an hour after Dave had phoned me.

We needed a few things like milk, so I suggested we pop by Tesco's before we went on up to the hospital. Chris waited in the car… I don’t like leaving the dogs in the car these days. I am paranoid about the car and dogs being stolen these days. I went off into the shop. I picked up the few things we needed then passed some cushions that Dave had mentioned Tesco had. Black and white zebra striped. I had said not to get them till I’d seen them. I loved them. They are perfect for our leather furniture. So I picked up three.

What I didn’t know was that I was paying 10 pounds for each of them. Had I let Dave buy them when he saw them, he’d have got them for a fiver each! I was not a happy bunny… but I still got them. They are perfect.

Then off we set a little further up the road to the hospital. We drove round to the area where the entrance to the Departure Lounge was… and Chris ran in to spend a penny! Dave walked out to the car and asked where we had got to? For the first time ever, he was free to leave the hospital within an hour of him ringing me! It’s never happened before, and believe me, I’ve picked him up a good many times in the past.

Dave was followed out by a nurse who thought they had lost him! He was in the car by now… Chris came out and explained that we had him! Trust Dave to rush out and not tell them!

I explained where we’d been. Then, back to his usual self, he said the cushions were too expensive. I had to agree… but they are perfect! He said he’d have got them for a fiver if I’d let him… “I know, I know!” was my reply.

Got home having missed most of the O’Bama inauguration… Seen it now as it was repeated on the TV. There is an hours TV programme about O’Bama and his up-bringing starting in a quarter of an hour. So this is where I’ll end as I want to watch it.

Good Luck to all my American Friends… IMO, O’Bama is the best thing that could have happened to you and the rest of us in other parts of the world… His election has given me a great deal of hope for the future.

God Bless America… and the UK too.

Update on Dave...

2009-01-19T13:51:00.000Z

I no longer follow the ambulance up to the hospital when they cart him off. We both know it’s going to be two or three hours of tests in A & E and then he’s shipped off to the MAU ward. I did phone of course, to find out how he was. I arrived around 2 o’clock to find him in a bed opposite the main nurses station in the MAU ward. Obviously so they could keep a close eye on him.

He looked a lot happier when I arrived. I had struggled to the ward with his bag of tricks… pajamas, wash things and a book he was reading. Why was it so heavy? Gawd knows… but it kept slipping off my shoulder. My handbag appeared equally heavy hanging from my other shoulder. Why are hospital corridors so long? Why isn’t there a chair placed strategically half way down the corridor?

I found Dave and told him to get off the bed, I could do with a lie down! The doctor arrived to take some more blood. I’m surprised he has any left now… they’ve taken so much! It’s never easy for Dave as being diabetic and with his heart problems, he has blood taken so often, all his veins are rather hard to get into… poor soul. It can mean a lot of prodding around, and he used to be afraid of needles!

After a while they moved him to a bed at the other end of the ward… out of harms way! Good. So he is no longer considered an emergency. They thought he should be able to go home after the consultant had seen him. I pulled out the crossword book I keep in my handbag. It helps kill time while waiting around for appointments when we get to the doctors surgery or the hospital waiting areas.

Nursed floated by every now and again. Dave told me they had put him on a Nebulizer when he was in A & E. It had really cleared his airways and made it much easier to breath. He has a slight chest infection. They also found that his dose of Warfarin wasn’t strong enough. It wasn’t thinning his blood as it should do. He was also put on more water tablets… so he was dashing off to the loo every now and again. I continued to do a crossword!

It didn’t look as if he was going to be let home so I went to find a nurse to see what was happening. Dave was getting very tired and really needed a nap, but his airways blocked up when he lay down. So the nurse put him on the Nebulizer again.

It was only after the consultant had seen him, that he’d be allowed home. She couldn’t say if it would be in an hour or more till his visit. So, Dave suggested I go home. But first would I get him a couple of things from the shop. I was dying for a ciggie so off I trotted, back down the long corridor and into the shop. Got a few things and popped out of the main entrance to see parking places empty in front of the hospital. I had parked quite a way away when I had arrived. But now that visiting times were over, the place was quite empty.

Off I went to the car… Got in and lit a ciggie. Then started the engine up and drove off to the parking places in front to the hospital. I turned into the one-way section only to be blocked by an ambulance parked parallel to another in the ambulance lane. And there was a large white van the other side. So there was no room to pass. Then traffic was behind me. Also a couple of people returned to their cars waiting to back out… But I couldn’t move… No one could move!

A quarter of an hour later – time for me to have two nicotine fixes – the ambulance driver came out and drove off. By the time I got back to the ward, Dave thought I’d just gone home! I stayed another half an hour and as the consultant still hadn’t come round, I did leave and go home.

I poured some Bailey’s into a cup of coffee and sat down to phone Dave’s son, his friend and a couple of other people. To update them.

Dave phoned me. He will be allowed home tomorrow. I should wait till he knows when they’ll let him out so that I don’t have to hang around too long. I was going to write something here but I had got quite tired and just sat and relaxed watching TV instead.

Dave phoned this morning. He has to stay in another day… So he won’t be home yet. He asked me to cancel his doctor’s appointment for tomorrow. I also needed to let them know he was in hospital… I didn’t get around to calling them yesterday. I just forgot.

I’ll venture up to the hospital soon after taking some tablets to bind me. I can’t just rush out of the house these days without taking them. I might have an accident. If I need a loo, I need it right then. Count to 5… any higher and I’m too late! The boring thing is that if I have had to take these tablets over a couple of days, I end up with a dreadfully uncomfortable swollen tummy. It’s a vicious circle and prevents me doing a lot of things I want to do away from the house.

Any readers that have been following my blogs, will know I’ve had a load of tests. I am still waiting to hear from my consultant to see what – if anything – he can do. I must chase this up, but not till dearly beloved is sorted and back home safe and sound.

A Hectic Morning...

2009-01-18T11:27:00.001Z

Dearly Beloved awoke around 6am. He woke me at 10 to 7 saying he was breathless and had a tight chest. He was also sweating quite a bit.

He got dressed and sat on his chair as I made him a cup of tea. He didn’t look too well, but not nearly as bad as he has in the past. He’s been so well over the last few months. At one time I was calling an ambulance every couple of months… but he’s not had to go into hospital for about a year. Since his quadruple Bypass, it’s been chest infections that have necessitated a stay in hospital.

He’s been coughing a bit lately, but not as badly as he has in the past… But I thought we had better be safe than sorry. So I dialed 999.

The first to arrive were three men in a car from the Fire Station armed with breathing equipment. This is new to me. It used to be the fire truck, lights and sirens flashing, that turned up first. Our Fire Station is in the next village, so they can get here very quickly. The ambulances get called from Boston, which takes them a great deal longer to get to us. And if the Bridge is closed, they have to make a detour of several miles.

These cars are new to the Fire Service, I understand. It means they can get to a patient much quicker. I would say it also saves a lot of petrol. Poor men, I had got them out of bed to attend. How they got dressed and on the road to us so quickly, I’ll never know… but it was only 10 minutes from me putting the phone down to their arrival.

I offered them a cup of tea, but they wouldn’t accept. However they did let me turn the sound up on the TV as there was footie on. I know from their past visits that they like football (I hate it), so I turned the sound up till the Ambulance arrived about 15 minutes later.

Dave was a lot better after being on oxygen for about half an hour, but after a few more questions and gathering up his assortment of pills, he was wheeled out to the ambulance and carted off to King’s Lynn hospital.

I just rang the A & E department. They let me speak to Dave. It is a chest infection again. They won’t know if he’s had another heart-attack will they have his bloods back and have done some more tests. He said not to come up till he’s in the ward as they are pushing him around the different departments for his tests right now.

He’ll end up in MAU (Medical Assessment Unit) ward eventually. So I’ll go up with his over-night things later today. He’s got all his pills and potions with him. So there’s no panic. He had his insulin before he left the house and had a biscuit.

I might have guessed something would go wrong last evening. For the last few days he’s been in such a good mood… He’s been fun to have around. Then quite suddenly, he changed. I can always tell as the tone of his voice changes and he doesn’t really answer you properly. I thought, ‘Oh no! Not another flipping mood!’ I thought of packing up and going to my bedroom to sit it out. It’s the safest thing to do. But he decided to go into his bedroom… So I stayed up for a while longer. I heard him coughing quite a bit… more than he had been.

I am sick to death of nagging him to put a shirt when he goes out-side. He sits around the house with no shirt on all the time… But it can’t be doing him any good when he goes out-side? But he won’t listen. He keeps a coat in the back of the car… but won’t bother to put that on when he walks around the shops. It really has been very cold and damp up here in the Fens.

So he is now suffering with yet another chest infection. I am more relaxed now as I know he’s in the best place where he can be looked after properly. He’s 73 (74 next birthday in February), so he really does have to be a bit more careful with his health. But there’s no telling him!

I’ll keep you updated…

Riki 1962

2009-01-15T15:11:00.001Z

Around 1961 I moved into one room in a large house in Islington, north London with my first husband. There were tenants in all the rooms with the landlord and his wife living in one of them. The ground floor was used as a club.

The landlord had a lovely natured German Shepherd Dog that used to walk out with me when I went off shopping. After a while Riki would come to the door of our room and ask to be let in. He followed me everywhere. The landlord was not amused at this. Riki was his dog… but Riki didn’t know it.

His owner and wife used to fight and Riki would escape up the stairs to our door to get away from them. I am sure that he was hurt when he had got in their way during these dreadful fights.

Eventually one almighty argument broke out that ended with Riki’s owner throwing his food bowl up the stairs and kicking the dog up them too… yelling at me to keep the bl**dy dog and he didn’t want to see it again! Actually, the language and violence involved was a lot stronger than the way I’ve written it.

So Riki moved into our room completely and settled. He never left my side. He insisted on carrying something in his mouth when we went shopping. It could be a tin of dog food or something. I had one of those Moses baskets with two small handles either side. I would put the shopping in it and Riki would hold one handle as I held the other… and off we’d go back home.

A private party was arranged one night in the club room on the ground floor... I was carrying my first child at this time.

My first husband was Ambrose Campbell (West African Rhythm Brothers), who was a musician. He also did a little film work. This night the producer Harry Saltzman had booked the club to gather and meet some of the people who were to appear in his next film. A film with Bob Hope and Anita Ekberg and others who’s names I don’t remember.

This film was being made between two James Bond movies made with Sean Connery as the star. I hadn’t seen a Bond movie at that time and had no idea who Sean Connery was. He was sitting next to me with Riki on the floor beside me. We were chatting and then got up and had a dance.

There was me, about six months pregnant, dancing with the most well known actor of the time. And I had no idea who he was. I’ve never met him since, but would love to remind him of this day.

Bob Hope unfortunately wasn’t there, but Anita was and quite a few other actors from the film to be made and the Bond films… but I can’t remember their names now.

Danny, my first son was born on the 28th July 1962. Riki took him on as his charge and lay beside his cot or the pram where ever we were.

Riki did live a bit of a nomadic life… He used to go walk-about sometimes. My local butcher used to give me meat for him. If Riki felt like a little extra he’d slip out and go and sit in the doorway of the shop till the butcher threw a bone to him. Then he’d bring it home to eat it.

What is quite amazing is that he used to use the zebra crossing if he could. He’d sit on the curb and wait for the traffic to stop before he’d walk across. Remember in those days there wasn’t the traffic about that there is today.

We moved to another room in the same area sometime later. I had a my second son on 13th August 1964. Sometime later I had to let Riki go to the Rainbow Bridge when he became too ill to cope. I think I had him for about four years… not long enough. I had no idea how old he was. Unfortunately I don’t have any photos of him. He was a handsome normal coated sable dog.

Update News on Mother Cat...

2009-01-15T12:55:00.002Z

I asked my daughter-in-law Helen, what the latest news was on mother cat escaping. (see post below). The following is Helens reply to me:

OMG....she is driving me mad now! She is back, but only prepared to live outside!!! She is constantly miaowing and when you go to the door she leggs it!! I put her food out and she comes and eats it. She will even come into the kitchen, but if you look like you may close the door she bolts. As soons as you close it though she is back miaowing again!! I can't leave it open - it is too cold and I don't want to lose the kittens. That's the other thing - she has unsettled them again!

At first they were running upstairs when the door opened, but now of course they see and hear her and spend a lot of time - especially at night - sitting on the kitchen table just watching her on the window sill.

She is obviously calling them, but they are not getting out!

She walked around the kitchen last night for ages - she looked like she needed a good groom and I'm sure she must have fleas by now. She kept trying to rub up against things so while she was up and down I was following her and gave her a little scratch with the brush. I'm sure it felt lovely - she really looked like she liked it - but she won't settle inside for any length of time.

If it were summer then the door would probably be open a lot of the time, but not now. Plus I really don't want the kittens to go out until they are completely settled in doors.

Danny said last night - "look, they are having a good ol' chat." And I thought, 'Yeah, they're probably asking - Why did you leave us mum?' And she's probably saying - 'Come on! Come with me.....run away, it's fun!!!'

I don't know what is worse - her being inside and being an ol' misery guts, or her being outside and VERY demanding!!! Pets eh? You can't win!

Mother Cat Goes Walkabout…

2009-01-08T14:38:00.000Z

A few months ago, my eldest son, his wife and my two grandchildren decided it was time they had another dog. Thor, their beautiful German Shepherd Dog had died of old age a year ago and they all missed him dreadfully. They had him as a small puppy and we had a litter sister that we had lost a couple of years earlier.

My suggestion was that they look for a rescue dog this time as they could provide a very good home and there are so many dogs needing new homes. So they began looking around at the different centres. They ended up having an in-depth interview at their home by one of the Home Check people.

Off they went to look for a dog. They were at Battersea Dog Home and began walking around. As usually happens when all four people have to agree on the same dog, they couldn’t. A heated discussion ensued as they wandered into the cat section.

They went home with three cats. I couldn’t believe it! A mother cat with two kittens. It had already been discussed that another cat might not be the best idea as their last one was run over on the road in front of their house. Now they had three! They got them home and realised that all three were completely wild.

A lot of time was spent in trying to get the cats to accept a stroke, but it was hard going. Gradually, they stopped running off to a corner to hide when anyone came in the kitchen. Slowly, they came out to get their food with someone sitting or standing near them.

Then it was time to get them all neutered. The Home collected them and took them off to be done and returned them afterwards. Life continued and slowly but surely, the cats became a little more friendly. None would allow anyone to pick them up, but they could stroke them if they were eating. But they weren’t interested in playing with anyone… only with each other. Mother cat was also showing signs of getting fed up with her kittens. They had grown considerably by now.

Helen went out of the back door and mother cat rushed past her. She’d never done this before and Helen had always been very careful when opening the back door. These were meant to be house cats. They didn’t want to lose one to the traffic again.

This happened a couple of weeks ago. My suggestion was to keep putting food out for mother cat by the back door. The food was disappearing but Helen wasn’t sure if it was mother cat or another local cat.

A few days ago, Helen went out to the garden and mother cat was there, sitting on the fence. She called her quietly hoping… No luck. Mother cat wasn’t going to come to her. So she went in doors and left the kitchen door open till it got too cold. Let’s face it, the weather has been really cold for the last week. This was also a worry to Helen. Surely the cat would prefer the warmth of the kitchen?

Helen felt that the kittens were missing their mother too. (I doubt it, but I’m not there to see them all). But I agreed that mother cat might just come back in as the kittens were there. Helen then left the kitchen window open so mother cat could come in.

Helen sees mother cat every day in the garden and now knows she is eating the food… but no way will she come back into the house. I think these cats were feral. It isn’t easy to bring a wild cat round to completely accept people. It’s not as if the family are there all the time. My son is far too busy and works long hours. He’s a dog person anyway. My youngest grandson is in school and the eldest is at Uni. Helen works during the day but her hours have been cut because of the recession.

Why oh why did they bring a cat home from the rescue centre… and not one, but three? They wanted another dog. They still want another dog… My son could have taken a dog into work with him… but not a cat!

Remembering My Mother - Long

2009-01-06T12:02:00.004Z

The 6th of January would have been my mother’s 90th birthday… but I lost her in March two year ago. The other day I wrote about my father so thought I might write about my mother. It really doesn’t feel like two years since I lost them both. It feels like the other week. May be that’s because I have so much of their stuff here in my bungalow.

Mother’s Early Days…
My grand-father was a Vicar of a small parish in Sussex and he and my grand-mother lived in a large house called Walberton Rectory, near Heathfield. This is where I lived till I was about five years old. It was a lovely old place with farmland all around as old rectories used to have. It was huge and later in life, when I couldn’t sleep, in stead of counting sheep, I used to try and count how many rooms it had!
My mother was raised here. She had an elder sister Helen, and a brother Paul. I can’t remember where she went to school without going through a load of paperwork but it was a boarding school. But I know she had a happy childhood but I think she was a bit of a rebel. She was a party girl, of that there is no doubt! She was very attractive and had several suitors, one eventually became my step-father.
She met my father at a cricket match. He was a handsome dark haired man, but very quiet and rather shy. He was a well known cricketer and my mother fell hook, line and sinker for him. They married and I was born a year or so later in 1940. By now, my father was in the army and war had started. My brother Christopher was born in 1942 and my sister Patricia in 1944. So my father must have had quite a few visits home during the war! Sadly my brother died aged two of TB. I named my youngest son after him.

Germany…
We went to join my father in German in 1945. One of the happiest times of my childhood was when we live in this large school where my father was a teacher and ran the sailing club with my mother running the riding stables attached to the school. I have happy memories of riding and sailing and swimming but none of doing any school work!
I think it was an exciting life for the adults too as I was later to learn! I better not name any of them as some are well known people but half of them appeared to be having affairs with each other and eventually my mother came back to England alone, leaving me in Germany with my father in the care of a nanny.
Eventually, my father and I came home to England too. It was quite a hard time for me as I missed my mother dreadfully. They divorced in 1952 or 3. I was sent off to boarding school.
My father remarried a woman who had been married to one of the other teachers in the school in Germany. I never got along with her. My mother married my Uncle Robbie whom she had known before she met my father and probably should have married the first time around! It wasn’t that he hadn’t asked her enough times. But Uncle Robbie was 15 years older than my mother, but had loved her since she was a child. They went to live in Malaya (now called Malaysia), and took my sister with them.
I found this time incredible hard as I hated my step-mother and wanted to live with my mother. I didn’t make life very easy for either of my parents. My father had custody of me, being the eldest, and insisted I went to boarding school and get a good education. I hated every minute of it.

Malaysia…
My step-father ran several large rubber plantations. My mother lived the typical colonial life out East with the usual servants and it appears, a constant stream of social events. I have quite literally, hundreds of photographs of her time there. She and Uncle Robbie had two children: Joanna and then John.
Most years they came back to England in the summer holidays on leave with an Ahma (nanny). They rented large houses in Sussex and at last I was able to have a pony again, thanks to Uncle Robbie.
You may gather that I was completely horse mad all my childhood and being around horses was when I was most happy. Being with my father during other holidays wasn’t a happy time as I only remember one place my step-mother allowed me to have my pony with me. She didn’t like horses. Normally the horses stayed in Sussex with friends of my mother when they were abroad.

Retirement…
When Uncle Robbie retired, they came back to live in Suffolk. I had left home by now. He bought a large house with an apple orchard. They continued their life style of socialising and parties. Life was always exciting though I think they went through a lot of money as the orchard wasn’t the great success it might have been.
They sold up and moved into a small house. A lovely thatched place that was still large and had plenty of ground around. My mother got into gardening in quite a big way and started to cook as having a permanent cook around was no longer affordable.
Eventually she started a business of catering and organising parties for friends, often holding these in large country houses or Marquees doing all the food. She was very popular.
I am not too sure Uncle Robbie wholly approved of his wife ‘working’, even if it was for their friends. All her work was obtained by recommendations.
They moved to a smaller house in Needham Market, Suffolk. Mother had to take a job and went to work for the Executives of Barclays Bank in Ipswich, where she cooked them lunch most days.
By now, I had moved up to East Anglia and used to visit her at the bank sometimes. I had the most delicious meals there. She really was a fantastic cook… of chef might be the more correct word.
She also provided cream teas at Helmingham Hall at one time. Again, the owners were friends of hers, so I think she started this off for them when the owners opened the Hall and grounds to visitors.

Sad Times…
Uncle Robbie died peacefully in his bed one night. Mother was left with very little money considering how wealthy they had been.
Mother moved in with a friend of hers in Needham Market. It was a large house in the High Street. Her friend was one of the local GPs. This worked for a few years till the doctor retired and wanted to sell up and move down south near her daughters. Mother needed somewhere to live but no longer had enough money to buy her own place again.
My sister Patricia came to the rescue.
She went to live with Tricia in South Africa where her money went a bit further. Tricia had her living with her and mother was in her element again, with servants around to do the menial work.
But it wasn’t easy for Tricia. Mother wanted to run everything, as she always had, all her life. So Tricia bought her a ‘combo’ not far from her house. It was a bit of a come-down, moving from my sister’s large house to a small one bedroom place. But, with her ‘maid’, she was quite happy as she was getting older and there were no stairs to climb.
As mother’s health was beginning to deteriorate, she began needing medical attention, which has to be paid for in South Africa. Tricia suggested she come back to England.

Back to the UK…
Dave and I had moved up here to the Fens by now. We had a large Static caravan in the garden that Dave had plumbed into the mains. Mother came back to live with us. She loved it. She would sit in the van looking out over the garden and watch the wild birds or sit by the fish pond and watch all around her.
After about a year she wanted to move back to Needham Market where she still had friends living. I have to admit, we didn’t mind as mother had begun to try and organise our lives as she had with my sister in South Africa.
Mother could never get used to not having servants so she could be very difficult at times. She was now just sitting around expecting everyone to jump when she said jump! Dave especially found it hard at times. So we managed to get her into small place in the High Street in Needham Market. Here she could sit by the window and watch everyone walk by.

Badly In Debt…
What we didn’t realise was that mother, now with no money other than her pension, was falling for those scams. I arrived on a visit one day when she said that she was waiting for about a hundred thousand pounds to arrive. She’d won it on some lottery! Not long after this I saw a TV programme about elderly people being scammed. They were being asked to send cheques so that the winning money could be released!
We had her come to stay with us over the Christmas and New Year. This is when I found out how big a problem it was with mother. She had managed to get herself in debt to the tune of about £2,000.00 plus, by answering these mails.
I had given her a computer hoping she’d learn to email me and the rest of the family. She couldn’t get on with it so lent it to a girl who lived in the flat above. This girl did do the odd email for mother between buying things. She used to shop for mother, so had access to her credit card. A further £3,000.00 was clocked up. So mother was now in debt to the tune of about 5 thousand. My sister and I were very worried about this situation. A very good friend of ours agreed to help. He took over her account so mother had no access to it. It was the best way to do this as he lived near her. It was very worrying.
Eventually we found her a warden assisted flat also in the village. Our friend had managed to clear mother’s dept completely and leave her a little spending money. Her health was getting worse. She was in her 80s now. She refused to wear the emergency red button around her neck and eventually, after a couple of falls, we moved her to a nursing home in Eye.
After a while. Mother decided she wanted to die. Most of her friends had gone so she saw no reason to carry on living. She began to starve herself. I understood how she felt. She was now bed-ridden and unable to do things as she had before. She’d had a couple of small strokes and also radio therapy for a touch of breast cancer. She had always lived a full and active life so it was hard for her. I understood, but found it hard to deal with.
She was always a snob, so just refused to mix with the other people in the home with her. She never gave any of them a chance to get to know her. It really was very sad to watch her go down hill so quickly.
The whole family visited her regularly during the last month of her life. My sister came over from South Africa, as did her youngest daughter. Her eldest came over from Italy, where she lived. I drove down about every other day. My eldest son Danny, drove up from London a few times with his family.

Crufts Dog Show…
Crufts was looming ever nearer. I always went and had never missed a year since the mid 1970s. I go as a reporter and keep some of the dog press in formed about the Championship Obedience side of things. Mother said I should go and not to worry about her. She promised she wouldn’t die before I got back! After all, I’d only miss 5 days of seeing her.
I left the next day – a Wednesday – and drove to the hotel near the NEC in Birmingham. Thursday was the first day of Crufts. Thursday night I got a phone call from my son Chris. Mother had just died… but he was with her. The home had rung him and he’d driven straight over. I was in a state of shock. I didn’t know what to do.
There was nothing I could do, so that morning saw me sitting in a quiet corner ringing everyone including the undertaker and arranging her funeral. I know she would have laughed at that. It used to be a family joke that no emergency should occur on a weekend - or over Crufts - as we’d be at a dog show! And she had promised to hold on till I got back…
It has taken me till this year to actually write about her properly.
Happy Birthday Mother Darling… May You Rest In Peace. I miss you so very much.

A New Hairdryer...

2009-01-05T08:53:00.002Z

Getting a hairdryer through customs...
A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favour?"
"Of course child. What may I do for you?"
"Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my Mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?"
"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie."
"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"
"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare."
The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"
"I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is,
to date, unused."
Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father. Next!"

Happy New Year...

2009-01-01T14:27:00.002Z

I would like to wish all my friends a very Happy New Year.

May 2009 be a successful and healthy year.

Below is the 2009 video of the firework display in London.

Remembering My Father...

2008-12-31T15:53:00.005Z

New Years Eve can never be the happiest time for me since my dear father passed over two years ago, today. He had a good innings and at 96 had unfortunately, reached a stage in his long life where he had had enough.

He had wanted to die in his own bed in the little cottage in Torcross, South Devon, he had owned since the mid 1950s. He moved in permanently when he retired many years later. Although in the latter years he had help in the place by Social Services, he got to the stage where we had to put him in to a Nursing Home as he deteriorated mentally and physically.

He was a brilliant man and I grew up wondering if I'd ever be as clever or as bright as he was. He had the answer to any question you asked. Although the family say I am like him in many ways, I never became anywhere near as clever as him... and am now deteriorating with age myself!

Canford Cliffs, Bournemouth...
My earliest memories of him were when we visited my grandmother (his mother), in her home. She had married PC Wren, the author of Beau Geste and many other books. He had raised my father as his own.

He was educated at Harrow, then Oxford. He played cricket for his school and at University and became well known. I have many newspaper clippings that my father had saved of his exploits on the cricket field.

I believe my mother met my father at a cricket match somewhere. Shortly after they married, the war started. My father had joined the Army and eventually became a Major. He saw service on the continent and had some pretty harrowing times, as many others had too. We were lucky that he did survive.

Germany...
As soon as the war ended, we joined my father in Berlin. I have recollections of bombed buildings and the poverty.

My father left the army and took a job as a House Master in King Alfred's School in Plorn, near Hamburg. My memories are riding horses and sailing. My mother ran the Riding Stables attached to the school and my father taught sailing... as well as History, English and Latin.

We came back to England, and unfortunately, in the early 1950s, my parents divorced. My father had custody of me and my mother had custody of my young sister. My mother re-married and went to live in Malaya, as it was called then.

My father also re-married a woman he knew in the school in Germany. She had a son two years younger than me. It was at this time that my father bought the cottage in Torcross. We used to spend holidays there occasionally.

Then my father took on a Prep School near Tiverton... Ravenscroft, I think it was called. A lovely old building with wooden panels everywhere... I was allowed to keep my pony there in the school holidays.

As time passed, I left home...
By now now my father joined a school in Harpenden, St Albans. St George's School.

Shortly after his retirement, his second wife died. He then married a local widow who had always lived in Torcross. Her first husband had been the local doctor for many years. She was the loveliest person I have ever met. She and my father were so happy together and perfectly suited to each other. Your face ached after visiting them for a few hours as they were always smiling and laughing together. They never had a cross word or a disagreement the whole time they were together.

My father was devastated when he lost her many years later. We knew he had had enough of life then. He was so lonely without her even though her family all lived locally and visited all the time.

A year before he died, we had to put him in a home to get 24/7 help. This brilliant man was beginning to loose his memory. He was forgetting to eat and needed constant help. He always appeared to recognise me and my sister and those closest to him... But past memories were gradually being erased from his mind... He mistook one of his step daughters for his wife on several occasions. The two were very alike.

I was so sad to when he left this world... But I knew he'd meet up with his one true love and be pain free. I feel him now watching over me and as time passes, I can't be sad. As I said at the beginning, he had a good innings. I did love him so...

An Emergency Yesterday...

2008-12-30T14:10:00.001Z

I had an unexpected phone call yesterday...

"We can't get hold of Brian. The last time we spoke to him was three days ago and he wasn't that well." It was Brian's daughter-in-law who lives in Scotland.

Brian is very deaf, but does have the 'gadgets' attached to his phone making it easier for him to hear... and a light flashes when it rings. Apparently, he knew to expect phone calls.

It just happened that I hadn't had a good day, so had got undressed as it was more comfortable. But Dave jumped in the car and drove down. Brian lives about half an hours drive away from us. When he got there, he phoned me to say he couldn't get in and Brian wasn't answering the door. Cassie, Brian's Border Collie, was barking like mad. Normally, Cassie's bark would alert Brian that there was someone about.

So I dialed 999. After repeatedly telling the operator what the problem was, I managed to get off the phone and ring Dave back to say the police were on their way. I also phoned Brian's son in Scotland to tell him the situation. Then I put my cloths back on and Chris and I drove down to Brian's. We would need to bring Cassie back with us if all was not well.

The police arrived before we got there and were about to break the glass in the front door, when Brian appeared and opened it! Panic over for Dave... But not for me and Chris. In my haste to get going, I left my mobile at home so couldn't ring Dave to say we were on our way!

We arrived just after the police had left... The door was unlocked, so we walked in.

Brian really doesn't look well at all. He should be in hospital in my opinion... But being a stubborn man, he absolutely refused to go. He had been ill over the whole holiday but was a little better now, he told us. The house was a complete mess. He needs help as he just isn't able to care properly for himself these days.

I rang his son from the house and got Brian to talk to him. His son was going to contact the rest of the family.

Dave told me that a friend from London was driving up and would be there in a couple of hours time. She is staying till Wednesday and will help sort him out.

It is such a worry when a friend is found not to be well. It's shock if you fear they might have died. I felt guilty that we hadn't driven round to see Brian over the holiday. We should have invited him up to ours for Christmas dinner. But we had planned a quiet Christmas, which is what we had. The first we had had on our own for a long time.

Brian, and his wife Jill, are old friends of ours. They used to compete with their dogs and like us, Jill used to judge too. We moved up here to the Fens in 1999. Brian and Jill wanted to follow us but Jill's father wasn't very well and he lived in Borgner Regis down on the south coast. Sadly, he died and Brian and Jill eventually moved up here.

By this time, Jill wasn't at all well, though health wise, Brian was holding out quite well. Sadly, with in six months, Jill died. I had lost a very good friend. We were all concerned how Brian would manage on his own as it was Jill that organised everything. Luckily, they did have three sons around the UK. One in Scotland, another in London and one in Bristol, I think.

Brian's health has steadily got worse. He has emphysema and is riddled with arthritis now. We will have to keep a closer eye on him from now on.

One good thing is that we now have a key to his bungalow which will make it much easier. Phoning is difficult, as he seldom answers and when he does, he can't hear what you are saying. He won't wear his hearing aids... Stubborn to the last!

Friends from down South that might read this and have been in Obedience for over fifteen years might remember Brian & Jill Green.

Happy Boxing Day...

2008-12-26T12:52:00.000Z

The 12-Step Program for Internet Addicts

1) I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my newspaper like I use to.
2) I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing.
3) I will get dressed before noon.
4) I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash the dog, get the kids off to school, all before even thinking of the Internet.
5) I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few friends and family that are Internet-deprived.
6) I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via the Internet.
7) I will read a book...if I still remember how.
8) I will listen to those around me and their needs and stop telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear what is happening on the Web.
9) I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for email.
10) I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, if it is necessary or not.
11) I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to balance my checkbook because I was too busy on my computer.
12) Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed some time....and the Internet will always be there tomorrow!

Up-date on Barry...

2008-12-22T18:24:00.002Z

For folks that follow Barry and Tessa's blog...

I have spoken to Barry every day on the phone. He is doing quite well and was up and sitting on the chair beside his bed the day after his operation. He had a kidney out and they hope they have cut all the other cancerous cells out too, but won't know for sure till they've done some more tests.

Thank goodness the news is a great deal better than he thought it would be.

Tessa and Dollar are away on holiday (in kennels). They are both fine but Dollar is getting a little jealous of Tessa. One girl takes Dollar off for a walk while another plays ball with Tessa in an enclosed area. Poor Dollar is missing out on the games. She'd rather stay with Tessa and the pair of them play ball... Barry tells me. I think he's told them at the kennels now as he's rung them a couple of times to find out how they are.

He is hoping to be able to get home next Monday.

Barry asked me to let his friends know he is doing alright. I haven't managed to get down to visit him yet but a friend who lives near him, has been down a few times.

You Pets & Christmas...

2008-12-20T09:50:00.005Z

Check this blog out for good advice about your cats and dogs over Christmas. It is written by a busy Veterinary Nurse.

I can't add anything to her list, but if you can think of anything, please leave a comment below.

I don't know what you do, but we always buy presents for our dogs... Often replacing old toys that have been around for a while and really need putting in the bin! This year we have picked up a couple of new Frisbees, a couple of new tuggy toys, bags of edible doggy treats.

They get a bone each... the type that are treated and stuffed or similar. Never give your dog a cooked bone, except those you can buy in your pet shop. It is very dangerous to give your dog cooked chicken or turkey bones which can and will splinter.

We also get extra balls on ropes for them... and another word of advice here. Always make sure that any ball you buy for your dog, can't be swallowed or get caught in the throat. Buying the ones with a rope attached makes it easier to get hold of the ball to throw again and to remove if it did get caught in the dog's throat. We also have new footballs... they love dribbling these around the lawn!

As the Vet Nurse's blog says. Don't be tempted to give your dog the lavish Christmas dinner you are having. You will guarantee your dog will get the runs!

I give mine the same dried Genesis Complete food they are normally on. I take a little of the turkey meat and some of the left-over vegitables and add it, with some gravy on top. If your dog is over-weight, don't give more than normal.

I wish you and your pets a Very Happy Christmas...

REMEMBER THIS AT CHRISTMAS TIME

2008-12-18T18:40:00.000Z

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.

Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.

Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.

We should've known... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost!

Titch To The Vets...

2008-12-15T22:27:00.006Z

Yesterday....
We popped down to Peterborough to meet Wandering Willie. He's a GSD pup of six weeks, the only one in Dollar's litter. Tessa, Dollar's litter sister, writes about him on her blog. He has a new home and will be called Phoenix, which I think will suite him.

It was good to see Barry. He's off to hospital this week to have a kidney out and to get sorted. Our prayers are with him at this very difficult time. We'll pop down to see him while he's in hospital.

It wasn't the nicest drive back home as it was a little foggy.

Today...
Over the last couple of days, one of our dogs - Titch - scratched his ear a few times. Naturally, we cleaned it out but it appeared to be bothering him more this morning. I made an appointment with our vet and Chris and I took him down early afternoon. Titch is Chris' dog. He kept him from my Jade's first litter. He was the smallest but has grown into the biggest of them all.

He's a lovely dog and the vet was very impressed at how well behaved he was. She said she could manage on to examine him on the floor, but Chris offered to pick him up and put him on the table... Titch lay down instantly and stayed very still.

The vet had a good look in his ears and apart from wax, couldn't see anything else. I asked her to take a swab to be absolutely sure. We came home with drops and some ear cleaner. He's been treated once and hasn't scratched his ear once since coming home. So fingers crossed it will clear up quickly and there is nothing sinister lurking down in his ears.

BBC Are Not Covering Crufts 2009

2008-12-13T13:13:00.002Z

This is the first paragraph of the Kennel Club Press Release issued yesterday:

CRUFTS 2009 GOES ON WITHOUT THE BBC
Today the Kennel Club confirmed that it and the BBC will be unable to continue working together in 2009 for the broadcast of the world's greatest celebration of dogs, Crufts, which in previous years has attracted over 14 million viewers in the UK and additional audiences worldwide. This position was reached after the Kennel Club regrettably had to refuse to comply with the unreasonable demands insisted on by the BBC, to exclude certain breeds of dog from the group competition at the show. These demands took no account of the measures the Kennel Club has in place to improve the health of pedigree dogs, or of the fact that judges will be trained to help ensure that all dogs being awarded prizes at Crufts will be healthy representatives of their breed.

We have been encouraging people to write to Horse & Country TV to ask if they might consider negotiating with the Kennel Club to take over the coverage of Crufts as the BBC and the Kennel Club can't agree.

All this has come about because of BBC documentary programme 'Pedigree Dogs Exposed' broadcast a few months ago.

From my point of view and a great many of my friends, we are not interested in the Breed Showing side of Crufts. We are interested in the Working Dog side... and a great deal of that goes on at Crufts but very little in shown.

Although 'Pedigree Dogs Exposed' hit the headlines, I didn't write about it on my blog at the time as I knew the programme was very one-sided and several people in the breeds mentioned were also filmed. But they were not shown as their dogs are healthy and have had all the tests before breeding litters. The programme insinuated that all pedigree dogs had health probems. That just isn't the case, but I will say that may be 90% need to be looked at.

I really don't want to get into a discussion on the way some dogs are bred these days as I am not in those breeds with problems. I have Border Collies where we do have a few problems, but I had all the known tests done and checked out the Stud Dog very thoroughly before I bred a litter... and over 20 years, I have only bred three litters, when I wanted to keep a pup, of which all of the pups have been healthy.

Here is a copy of the letter I have just to Horse & Country.

I expect you will know by now that the BBC are no longer going to cover Crufts Dog Show in March 2009.

We are very concerned about this as a there are a great many people who rely on watching the BBC broadcasts when hey are unable to attend the show in person.

We are also a little unhappy with the previous BBC broadcasts. We are interested in the Competitive Obedience Championships - both Dogs & Bitches and they seldom show very much of this.

I represent a good number of people who work their dogs... We are not interested in the Breed Showing part which has always dominated most of the BBC coverage.

You will already have heard from a number of us as we have been encouraging our ObedienceUK Yahoo email list and Forum members to contact you. The majority of the Championship Obedience Competitors who will be competing at Crufts are members of my lists (those who are on the Internet).

You would need a knowledgeable Obedience person to commentate on the Obedience. I can suggest a number of people suitable for this. Some, who have in the past, done the job on the BBC. So they are experienced broadcasters and also know the handlers and dogs. We would suggest you use experienced, well known dog people and not Celebrities who are not very good with when it comes to chatting or handling dogs as they are pet owners. We have our own Celebrity Dog Handlers, like Mary Ray, who you must have heard of.

Apart from the main Championships, there are Team Events and the World Cup where teams are sent to compete from various other countries. There are also the YKC - Young Kennel Club - events. There are Good Citizen Tests and various other demonstrations of Obedience with different breeds of dogs. Also Heelwork To Music.

You also have Agility heats and Finals and Flyball heats and Finals that can be covered. Very popular events with the general public. There are demos of other working dogs like Gun Dogs and Police Dogs, Guide Dogs and Assistance Dogs... There are so many things, but I can't list them all in one email.

And none of the above involves the Breed Showing side of things which is what the BBC used to concentrate on.

For years we have been encouraging Responsible Pet Ownership... and Crufts is the biggest window to reach the public with.

I do hope you will consider negotiating with the Kennel Club.

If you are interested or concerned that Crufts is not going to be broadcast in 2009, maybe you would also like to write to Horse & Country. Scoll down the page for the email link. They seem the most logical TV company to take over from the BBC.

Read this article in The Times today...

A Lovely Surprise...

2008-12-10T09:48:00.003Z

After having a good moan in the post below, I popped over to see if anything had happened on my Windows Live Spaces blog. Surprise, surprise...

My oldest friend Sylvia had left a note in my Guest book, saying she had lost my email address. Annoyingly, I don't have her email here on my laptop. It's on my desktop which really needs sorting out and putting back to factory settings. It takes so long to boot up or do anything on it!

I have known Sylvia since the early 1960s. My first husband was a musician and so was hers. He played in in my husband's band. I had my first son Danny, then she had her daughter Louis. I then had my second and last son Christopher.

Life wasn't always very good for me during those times and Sylvia was always there to help pick up the pieces and give me and the boys a bed when I needed one.

A few years later I left and moved up to East Anglia... Shortly afterwards, Sylvia and Louis followed. Then she got married again and ended up living in Barbados. We lost contact till last year when she found me on Spaces.

I do hope she finds me here and leaves a comment below to say so.

Not a Good Morning For Me...

2008-12-10T08:46:00.004Z

My tummy problems woke me at 5.20am this morning... I was not a happy bunny! Not the time of day I want to be sitting in the bathroom with no time to pop back into my bedroom to take some tablets to bind me! Eventually, about a quarter of an hour later, I managed it.

Sat on the edge of my bed not daring to walk around for fear of an unexpected accident... I find it's easier to sit still staying close to the bathroom when I'm like this. Eventually the pills worked... Well, I hoped they had bound me.

So around 6.00am I made cup of coffee... then went back and sat down. Jade jumped up beside me on the bed to get a cuddle. Bless her... She is always beside me when I'm feeling a little down. She also likes to curl up in a corner in the bathroom when I'm in there! She's always by my feet as she is now while I'm typing this. It wasn't long before I had to take some more tablets... It appears I have to take more to bind me now than I used to. It is all getting so much worse than it used to be. I can't wait for my appointment to come to see the doctor at the hospital.

At 7.00 I did the dogs their breakfast and let them out. Then came on here... Sorry to have a moan. I get like that occasionally... especially if I've had a few days of feeling rough!

The Last Few Days...

2008-12-09T14:57:00.005Z

I think I am coming to grips with this new place. Have managed to get my photo up with my dogs and the list of blogs I like to keep up with.

Like a good many other people, I was surprised and shocked at the changes Windows Live Spaces had made last week with no warning. I don't think I've read a comment from anyone who likes the new way of doing things. It has become more like Facebook, which isn't for me. I just want a place to blog as a diary of what's happening around me. Somewhere to put up the odd bit of News on Dogs and some humour or jokes. So I've landed here!

Dearly Beloved...
He's had some worrying troubles. For any new readers, he's got heart problems. He's had a quadruple by-pass, one kidney removed and has Diabetes (insulin dependant)... He's also well over weight.

The other day he had a TIA (mini stroke). He was sitting in his chair in a cold sweat, staring into space and just didn't look or react to anything as he would normally. He also appeared to be a little dodgy in his balance. We rang our doctor and I was asked to bring him straight down to the surgery.

After a full and thorough examination they concluded that he had had a TIA.

It's funny, but I am able to keep body and soul together when Dave's not well or there is an emergancy I need to deal with. I've always been like that.

However, yesterday evening (Monday), I payed for it! I have tummy problems* as friends will already know... and all hell let lose! I spent most of the evening in the bathroom. I managed to watch three quarters of 'Catastrophe' on Channel 4 with Tony Robinson commentating. It was interesting and the only thing worth watching last night IMO!

I seem to be fine today... fingers crossed!

I've been visiting friends blogs and playing around on here. I've managed to find a photo of me and my dogs to use on here.

I'm on my Laptop and don't have many photos saved on here yet... But will put some up soon.

I have now put a link on my Spaces blog to here. I do hope my friends find me?

* Diveticulitus with some complications.

Lady Rings Hospital...

2008-12-06T20:53:00.003Z

Lady rings her local hospital and this conversation follows:

Lady - Hello I'd like some information on a patient, Mrs Tiptree. She was admitted last week with chest pains and I just want to know if her condition has deteriorated, stabilised or improved?

Hospital - Do you know which ward she is in?

Lady - Yes, ward P, room 2B

Hospital - I'll just put you through to the nurse station.

Nurse - Hello ward P, how can I help?

Lady - I would just like some information on a patient, Mrs Tiptree, I was wondering if her condition had deteriorated, stabilised or improved?

Nurse - I'll just check her notes. I'm pleased to say that Mrs Tiptree's conditioned has improved. She has regained her appetite, her temperature has steadied and after some routine checks tonight, she should be well enough to go home tomorrow.

Lady - Oh that's wonderful news, I'm so happy, thank you ever so much!

Nurse - You seem very relieved, are you a close friend or relative?

Lady - No, I'm Mrs Tiptree in room 2b. Nobody tells you stuff at all in here...'

Time For a Change...

2008-12-06T19:33:00.001Z

I am not happy with the way Windows Live Spaces have changed their whole programme. I have been blogging there for quite a few years and I think it's time for a change.

Unfortunately they are more like Facebook now and that place isn't for me either. I am far too old to mess about with trying to get to grips with the Spaces new way of doing things. I'm not a computer geek... I just want somewhere I can blog a diary or put up Dog News and jokes.

Give me a little time to get to grips with this new home... Have a great weekend.