Monday, 20 April 2009

Me & My Op….

Well folks, I got back from the hospital a short while ago. I had to go for a Pre- Assessment walk-through.

They took more blood from my arm than I can afford to give! The nurse explained what would happen. Apparently they were hoping to use key-hole surgery, but not now. So I’ll be in for about a week as they are going to have a good look around and cut out all the damaged part in my tummy.

Apparently, all my problems stem from 1985 when I had radio therapy. In those days they used to give you three times as much as you needed. But looking on the bright side, I was very lucky they found this cancerous little lump nestling behind my womb when they spayed me… I mean I had a hysterectomy. If I hadn’t, it wouldn’t have shown up and I’d be dead by now!!!

It is over the last five plus years that I’ve had the most trouble. After this operation, I should be able to build up my appetite and hopefully I will be able to put some weight on. This should give me more energy… May be I’ll be able to find my brain cells that have gone walk-about lately!

Unfortunately, this operation will do nothing for my Diverticulitis, but I should be able to control it better afterwards.

I am going in on Wednesday afternoon. Thursday will be spent clearing me right out! Yuk… I hate going through that, but it will be easier to handle when in the hospital. Then I’m going under the knife on Friday… So fingers crossed folks. I’ll miss you all while I’m away from the internet.

So don’t expect any updates here till I get home after it’s all over.

I’ll be so busy tomorrow… I have to get my things ready to take in with me… Nighties, slippers and wash things.

We also have the decking wood being delivered tomorrow. Then the people are coming on Wednesday to saw the decking and put it round the edge of the pool.

We also have Sky TV etc., being delivered on Wednesday morning. I just hope the man comes before I have to leave for the hospital!

I am not expecting Dave to visit much, what with having High Definition Sky TV and another Grand Prix F1 next weekend! He’ll be too busy playing around. At least he’ll have complete control of the remote while I’m away… I just hope he doesn’t break it before I get home!

You know I said yesterday that he broke our Dyson Animal vacuum cleaner? Well, Chris fixed it so I don’t have to call the man out! I wonder how many other things he’ll break before I get home?

The pool heater is up and running now… Sid the man, finished the work off this morning.

My biggest worry while I’m away is my dogs. I know Chris is here to care for them, but I will miss them so. And Jade will miss me… she always does. I’ll telephone each morning to make sure they are fed and let out… Then again each evening to make sure they have their tea!

Bye for now folks… You all take care of yourselves.

Sunday, 19 April 2009

A Busy Week…


After the visit to the surgeon at King’s Lynn hospital last Monday, followed by the visit to the vet to have the girl’s stitches out, the place has been full of people and other dogs.

A friend Jan has moved up here to Holbech with her four German Shepherds. They visited us and had a good game in the garden. Trevor, our gardener, has been up and mowed the lawn and Pete has done some more work on the pool. Sid the electrician turned up to wire the pool heating element up properly and another friend Brian turned up.

Brian and his late wife Jill, have been friends for years. We met them at dog shows and training. He used to be a top class carpenter but he’s got bad rheumatism now and can’t do the work he used to. But if Chris helps him, he’ll sort the wooden boarding out to go round the top of the pool for us. They want to also build some steps up the side of the pool with wood treads.

Mean while, it seems the phone hasn’t stopped ringing. Mother dear has spent ages talking to someone on it. Apparently, she is arranging to have Sky TV installed with the HD box.

She says they all argue enough about which channels to watch already. It will be like WW3 with more channels! But apparently, she can watch one channel and record two others… That’s if she can work out how to use the box. She never got to grips with the DVD recorder she’s had for ages!

She’s also having and extra Sky+ box for her bedroom! Actually, it will go in the conservatory when she’s got it cleared of all the stuff in it. It is still full of her mother and father’s things she brought home after they died a couple of years ago.

More Phone Calls… The hospital also rang… Could mother dear go into hospital next Friday for her operation. She can come in the evening before. But to come up on Monday for a Pre-Operation talk. All this was followed by a letter. Apparently she had another hospital appointment at Wisbech on Monday about the pins in her femur… Just a check up.

King’s Lynn didn’t think they could get mother dear’s notes back up to them, so they cancelled the Wisbech appointment for her. Mother dear suggested she bring the notes up with her… But apparently, that’s not allowed! How silly. They are her notes.

Back to Sky TVMother dear has weighed up the odds and is going to not only get Sky TV, but also change her ISP and phone over to Sky Broadband too. She’s a bit worried it won’t all go smoothly. No way does she want to be without Internet access.

I must add that with all the activity this last week, mother dear has suffered quite a bit. She’s been bad in the middle of the night, first thing in the mornings and again, in the evenings.  She’s spent more time than usual in the bathroom and hasn’t felt like writing anything. She says she just can’t think straight half the time. I think it’s lack of food as she hasn’t been eating at all well.

If you have Sky TV and Broadband and have any advice, please leave a comment below.

Housework… Mother dear may have mentioned a couple of times that she doesn’t like housework. It always seems like a never ending job. She’d rather take us out for a walk or a game. She’s been feeling very guilty when reading friend’s blogs about all the housework and clearing out her friends have been doing, she’s now arranged for some help!

Her friend Jan, who’s just moved up here, is looking for work. She’s going to come and help mother dear get her place sorted out. Then she’ll come once or twice a week to keep it tidy for her. Chris is good and does vacuum the sitting room, but he doesn’t do the dusting or the bedrooms. Daddy dear can’t be trusted not to break something, so mother dear won’t let him dust!

M_DC25-ANIMAL This morning, daddy dear got the vacuum out and began to Hoover. Then there was a funny noise. Mother dear yelled to him turn it off… He’s broken the Dyson Animal some how. I expect she’ll have to call the man out now… Luckily, she has insurance to pay for call-outs on the Dyson washing machine and Dyson vacuum cleaner. So it’s safer not to let daddy dear touch anything… or it has to be repaired!

She hates him cooking now. The other day she found a tea towel and a cardboard TV meal cover on the hob with the hob on! She screamed at him and forbade him from using the cooker again… On the grounds of safety. He does try to do things for himself… but she says he’s very trying! Now she watches him if he goes into the kitchen and not straight through to another room.

If he empties the dishwasher, she can never find anything as he never puts any back where it belongs… Or he stacks different sized plates things on top of each other. This really annoys her!

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

Back From The Vets…

As I said below, I had to take the girls up to the vets to have their stitches out.

Why do I have dogs that go mad with excitement as soon as you walk them through the surgery door? Another dog was sitting down with her owner shaking like a leaf and there was a cat in its carrying cage.

Kate went to say hello to the dog and Jazz pulled to say hello to the owner of the cat. Then they both jumped up at the counter to say hello to the vet nurses.

Neither Titch nor Jade were happy to be left in the car. They had wanted to come in too! Of course it could be that I am always armed with titbits when we are in a vets!

Jazz went to say hello to the little Corgi cross that Kate had greeted when we walked in. The Corgi wasn’t so keen on Jazz and growled at her! Poor Jazz. She doesn’t have a mean streak in her. She was most surprised.

Mind you I’m not that keen on letting my dogs get too close to other dogs in a surgery… After all, they are there for a reason and one never knows if the other dog has an infectious something or other!

Anyway… We were soon called into the surgery for removal of the stitches. In the past, I have always removed any stitches at home, but these only had one knot and were woven in and out of the wound. I couldn’t see how it would pull them all out in one go, so I left it for the vet.

Silly me…! What I didn’t realise was that you just cut the knot off. You don’t pull anything out! Must be a new way of stitching up.

The reason I like to do it at home is that you can catch the dog relaxing and laying down on its back waiting for a tummy tickle. There is no stress that way. I have a pair of special scissors to remove stitches, and a clamp like pair of scissors to pull the stitches out. But they weren’t bothered when the vet did it… but were a bit wriggly as they wanted cuddles!

When we got to our lane, Chris got the dogs out of the back and walked them home along the field. It’s the first proper walk Jazz and Kate have had because of their operations. Luckily, they weren’t that interested in racing each other, just sniffing the hedgerow.

Titch and Jazz with Chris

Lefy: Titch and Chris.

Below: Titch, Jade and Katie with Chris.

Titch, Jade and Kate with Chris

Below & Right: Chris with the dogs in our lane.

Chris walking up the lane with the dogs

Chris with the dogs.


Katie racing towards me

Left: Katie running towards me with the others still sniffing around in the lane.

I took the top two photos out of the car window – I was stationary at the time - as I drove the car on to our bungalow. Parked up and walked back into the lane to get the dogs coming home.

I am on cloud nine still. I am just so happy that at last someone is going to try and do something for me. After the operation, I can hopefully go out and eat a proper sized meal and enjoy it with no fear of bringing it up sometime later!

There are – obviously - no promises from the surgeon, but I can at least hope and pray that removing this constriction somewhere in my tummy, I will – hopefully – no longer get these awful swollen tummies which can get very painful and incredibly uncomfortable. They stop me eating. May be afterwards, I will be able to put some weight on.

I do wish I was a chocolate eater or had a sweet tooth! Dave bought me several Easter eggs which are just sitting there. Anyone want some?

Another Hectic Day…

Letter in the post this morning. An appointment for me up at King’s Lynn hospital at 2.25 this afternoon. When I got there, I found there had been a cancelation and they had slipped me in.

The appointment was with the surgeon to see if can do anything to help me with my problems. After chatting and explaining my situation he said he’d have look and see if he can do anything.

He is trying to get me into be operated on next week, or in May. I am so happy. At last someone is going to try and do something for me.

He can’t help the Diverticulitis but he wants to do something about this constriction I have. Hopefully, I’ll be able to eat a proper meal after that. Oh boy, would I like to be able to put some weight on. I am 6 stone (40.5kg) now, and have been for ages.

Woo Hoo… I am so pleased. I just had to share with you my good news!

Now I have to put the girls (Jazz & Kate), into the car and take them up to the vet for their appointment to have their stitches out. Both of their scars have healed up nicely.

Important Government message

Dear  Recipient, 
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of the economy, your Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers 50 years of age and older on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the government to be eligible  for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help  After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once,
SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the government deems appropriate.

Only persons who have been RAPED can get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel  Early Severance). Obviously, persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not  be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the government.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on, will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible.

The government has always prided itself in the amount of SHIT it gives out. Should  you feel that you  do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the  attention of your local MP. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

The Government (YOUR  Government)

This would be funny if it wasn’t so true.

Monday, 13 April 2009

Dearly Beloved is Home Now…

Daddy dear in hospital yesterday.

Hospial 2 007 Mother Dear got home from visiting Daddy Dave in the hospital last night and began to feel rotten a couple of hours later. She went to go into her bedroom to get undressed and was suddenly sick. I have no idea why? She is sick sometimes, due to this constriction she has, but it never comes on that suddenly. She always gets a warning. She managed to grab a bowl she keeps by her bed…

I stayed with her though I was not happy she’d gone up on her own to see him. She says she hates to have to leave me alone in the car in case the car and me get stolen. She’s paranoid about this nowadays. I used to go everywhere with her. She never  left me behind as I am happy just to wait in the car.

Anyway, she was – yet again – late actually going to bed. She said she couldn’t get to sleep. She got up around 7.30am and gave us our breakfast then went back to bed and fell fast asleep. The phone rang at ten and she jumped up with a start. It had woken her up. It was daddy dear saying he thought he’d be allowed out in the evening. He’d ring again after he’d seen the doctor.

Mother dear ran a bath around eleven and as soon as she got in, the phone rang! Typical… She found it was daddy dear after she’d got out, so she phoned him back.

He told her that he could come home and she could collect him at five. He also told her that she’d have to put a gown and gloves on to collect him. She couldn’t just walk into the ward as she had the evening before.

Apparently the hospital is very worried about a bug that’s going round the hospital. Mother dear said she’d seen a notice in the main entrance saying there was sickness and diarhorea. They didn’t want to move daddy dear out of the MAU ward because of it. That’s why he could come home.

Mother dear took me with her to collect him. By now, and after another couple of phone calls, it was arranged that daddy dear would wait for her by the entrance after getting a porter to wheel him down. He was in fact, waiting in the doorway when we got there.

We were ten minutes late. First of all she found her mobile battery was flat, so she plugged it in for five minutes, hoping there was an in-car charger in the car. There was as it turned out. Then for some unknown reason the A14 had a great deal of traffic on it. It took five minutes to get out of our side road on to it. Then it was 30 to 40mph all the way along till we got to King’s Lynn and the hospital.

Mother dear said it was lucky we were only ten minutes late!

It was nice to see daddy dear. He was pleased to see me and gave me a cuddle.

Mother dear took a couple of photos of daddy dear in the hospital yesterday. He wanted to show you a big bruise he got when a nurse gave him an injection. It really hurt, he said.

Dave's bruise

The Bruise.



Note the Easter egg that he can't eat. LOL

This is an Easter egg the nurses gave everyone except the people who were Diabetic. How he managed to get one, mother dear doesn’t know.

But she took it home with her last night to make sure he didn’t eat it!

Saturday, 11 April 2009

What a Week…

Last week was spent doing the swimming pool with Pete’s help. Chris worked with him.

Chris and Pete dicussing the situation! They had stuck the liner around the sides. Here they are discussing laying the felt on the bottom. Laying the felt.

It went in quite easily. Behind Pete, there is some coving that Dave said had to go round the the pool underneath the final skin.

Needless to say, after getting everything sorted and the new skin put on, it wouldn’t lay flat and tight. All the coving had to be removed and then the new skin fitted well !

Pete tucking in the liner. Note the coving on the right. It all had to come out!

Here you can see that the bottom isn’t laying flat at all!



Chris, Dave and Pete tucking the liner in.

Dave isn’t really helping… But – bless him – he thinks he is! He is at least trying.

Pete tucking the liner in with me holding it up.

I took over as it was easier if someone held the weight of the liner up so Pete could tuck it in.

Needless to say, it all had to come out to take the coving out. Then it all lay flat.

Pete putting in the drainer.

No… we don’t keep a chair in the pool! Pete is screwing in the drain covering and used it for his tools as we had to have a little water covering the bottom of the pool.

Note it is now all laying flat, thank goodness. He had welly boots on but his hands were freezing. The water was very cold.

Dave supervising the others working!

Here’s Dave in his usual position of watching the others working.

It took ages to fill up the pool, but it’s all done now. Just waiting for the electrician to come next week to fix the heating up for us.

The heating unit outside the poly tunnel.

The heater has to sit outside the poly tunnel so that air circulates.

You can see the pipes that lead into the tunnel. On instructions from Dave (the supervisor), Pete and Chris stuck all the pipes into their respective elbows with glue. There are several inside the tunnel. They cost 75p through the internet… Then the water pump was switched on.

It turned out that Dearly Beloved had told Chris and Pete wrong and the sand from the filter was flowing back into the pool. Chris had to take all the pipe work apart and redo it all. The elbows cost £2.50 in the local shop and there are about 6 or 8 of them. Again, Dave is lucky to have survived till Easter. I could - yet again - have strangled him on behalf of Chris and Pete!

Dave Has Survived Till Today…

He’s been fine for a good few day… Weeks even. But he’s been a little ‘high’, in my opinion, over the last few days. I am sure it’s when his sugar levels are high (he’s insulin dependant Diabetic). He drives me up the wall when he’s like that… Singing (out of tune), dropping things and not concentrating on anything you try to say to him.

Last night I tried to sort his PC out. He was having trouble with some emails. It’s not easy sorting out a PC when someone is breathing down your neck and saying “I’ve done that… and that… What are you trying to do now?” And a whole lot more… I lost it and got up and said “Fix it yourself!” Then went to my bedroom for an early night.

I’ve had a bad tummy on and off for the last week. That’s why I haven’t written a blog up. I just haven’t been able to concentrate.

Dave was up first this morning. Well, he wasn’t up first. I had been up for a couple of hours and made a coffee and fed the dogs and let them out. But I then went back into my bedroom and rested. Around ten I went through to the living room to find Dave having a little trouble breathing. He’s been coughing quite a lot lately. He does get phlegm on his chest. It put him in hospital last January.

I watched him. He was rather short of breath. He had a tightness across his chest, but he was nowhere near as bad as he has been. I popped into my bedroom and took my tablets (to bind me), and put him in the car and drove him up to A & E.  They saw him straight away. I think I was right to drive him straight up. The hospital is 20 minutes away. An ambulance can take over half an hour to get to us sometimes. I would have dialed 999 if he had any chest pains or needed oxygen. He’s had that many Angina attacks, we both know when it’s serious.

I keep his over-night bag at the ready as I know - sooner or later – he’ll have a trip to hospital. All I had to gather was his prescription list of tablets and his tablets and insulin.

After running some tests on him and taking bloods, then an X-Ray, they decided to keep him in and sent him to MAU (Medical Assessment Unit) ward. I came home.

Around 7.00pm I got a phone call… ‘Please could I bring his glasses up and his Ipod.’ I Dave back in hospital today. had just put some food on to eat. Never mind… I can eat when I got home later. I got Chris to drive me up.

Here he is sitting on the side of his bed looking a great deal better than he had this morning. They are keeping him in for a day or two so they can check his bloods every 12 hours.

Dave on his bed in hospital.He had been chatting away to a lovely elderly lady in the next bed. Her husband who is 94, and her son were visiting. We had them laughing with me threatening Dave that he should behave himself because I wanted to go home and have some rest with him safe in hospital… I did not want to be driving up and down to King’s Lynn a couple of times a day!

I got hoime and had a little rice and chicken to eat, then wrote this.

So I am off to bed now. It’s been a hectic day.

Wednesday, 1 April 2009

Update on the Girls…


Mother dear bundled us all in the car yesterday morning. We thought we were going for a long walk together as Chris was with us. Instead, we drove to the vets.

Admittedly MD had taken me in last week. I don’t know why? I just got cuddles from the staff in the reception area as she chatted away. Turns out she was booking my two daughters in to be spayed the next week.

So we drove off down the lane and dropped the girls off. Then on the way home, we (me and Titch), got out of the car with MD and walked round the large field having a good sniff in the hedges while Chris drove on home.

Around lunchtime, MD left me and Titch at home as she was going to collect the girls.

Oh dear… they do feel sorry for themselves. Katie was far more alert but Jazz just lay on the settee where Chris had put her after carrying her from the car. MD sat beside her cuddling her. That’s why she wrote up her blog yesterday and not me. I couldn’t get near the keyboard!

Katie lay getting cuddles from Chris on his chair. Titch and I felt a little left out… But hay ho! We got a nice walk earlier and they didn’t!

MD woke us up at 4.30am. Her tummy was playing up. I expect it was because she had worried about the girls and Titch’s problems over the weekend. Any stress always affects her tummy. She took some tablets after checking on Jazz and Kate, then went back to bed to get some more sleep.

Chris was first up in the morning and gave us all our breakfast. Pain killer tablets also given to the girls and other tablets given to Titch because of his upset tum at the weekend. Everyone, except me and Chris, appears to live on tablets in this house!

My goodness, the girls are feeling very sorry for themselves this morning. Neither being strong enough to eat on their own, so they were hand fed! Talk about molly-coddling them!

Katie wants cuddles but would also like to go into the main garden and have a Frisbee thrown for her! I ask you? I told her she can’t have it both ways. Jazz just lays there looking very sorry for herself.

Both have managed a widdle this morning. The sun is out now and it’s a lovely day so they are both lying out on the patio in the sun. Chris and Pete are working in the pool. Kate likes to be near where he is. Jazz is lying by the conservatory door. They are both behaving and not licking their wounds so MD hasn’t put the buster collars on them. They don’t know how lucky they are.

We have a very large crate but there’s been no need to put that up either as both girls are behaving and keeping still or just waddling to a spot to lay down. MD keeps getting up to check them both. She says the wounds look very nice and all is well.

Luckily, MD says, this is a bungalow, so there are no stairs… Just small steps in and out of the place.

MD keeps getting up to check the girls. She want to put the table and parasol out and go and sit with them. Of course, I have to go and sit at her feet, so I’ll let her post this for you to read.

MD says: ‘Thanks for the kind comments yesterday.’

Tuesday, 31 March 2009

Had The Girls Spayed Today…

After dropping Katie and Jazz off at the vets this morning, I managed to sit here till noon before phoning to find out how they were. Not one minute went by that I wasn’t thinking about them and trying not to worry.

When I dropped them off my vet said he’d do them first and that I could pick them up at lunch time. There was no way I could wait till the end of surgery in the afternoon to get them. I’d have collapsed with worry!

So I rang. ‘Katie has woken up and is fine. She was done first.’ The receptionist told me. ‘Jazz was second and hasn’t really woken up properly yet. Ring back in an hour…’

Dave had heard my part of the conversation and as soon as I hung up, he asked: ‘How much…? I mean, how are they.’ Now isn’t that just a typical man? ‘How much?’ I could have strangled him.

I sat here and would have bitten my nails to the quick if I still bit them. Instead I half smoked myself to death instead! Then at ten to one, Chris and I got in the car, leaving Jade and Titch here at home, and set off to collect the girls. As we walked in, the receptionist said ‘The vets aren’t here at the minute, so there’s no one to sign the girls out. But you can come through and see them.’

We followed her into the kennel area and I opened Jazzie’s cage door and climbed in and sat with her. Chris did the same with Katie.

Katie was well awake and ready to leave. Jazz was still very dopy and hardly opened an eye to acknowledge I was there! After about a quarter of an hour, she slowly stood up and turned her back on me and lay down again, shutting her eyes. She was sulking… Her mummy had left here there and gone away! How evil is that? I could feel her saying.

We had plenty of time to chat to the trainee vet nurse and another young girl on work experience. Eventually the vets arrived back from their lunch. One of them gave first Kate, then Jazz a thorough examination, checking temperatures and signed them free to go home. Kate after her op.

Chris carried Katie out and the vet nurse carried Jazz out for me. We popped them in the back of the car and drove home. Chris carried them into the house. Jazz in her usual place on the settee beside where I sit here on my laptop, and Kate in the chair he sits in.

Katie relaxing after her op.

Jazz, resting on the settee after her op. Jazz after her op. 

Next appointment is on Friday just to check all is well.

Dave bit his tongue and resisted asking me how much the bill came to. I think he thought it safest that way! So I told him. ‘That was cheaper than I expected.’ he said! It must have hurt him to say that! A fiver would have been too much normally!

Both Kate and Jazz have stayed put and are resting quietly.

The Saga of Titch…


Titch is fine now.

Last Friday, I put the dogs on Arden Grange complete food. I no longer use Pedigree complete since they changed the recipe as it’s full of rubbish now, in my opinion. I have tried two other complete foods but the dogs haven’t like them. I’ve had to add a spoonful of tinned dog food before they would eat

So I got Chicken and Rice Arden Grange, and they took to it instantly. No need to  add meat to it. But I didn’t change them over gradually this time. I was very low and in one day, they had a bit of both. Then Titch got the runs. I starved him… He’s the best one at eating that we have. I felt so sorry for him. He was better on Saturday, but got the runs again and on Sunday I found blood. I panicked!

I rang a fiend then managed to get through to the emergency vet… Why do these things always happen at the weekends when vet bills will be double? The vet suggested it might be Colitis, as I suspected, and that I could wait till the morning to see my own vet. Titch was showing no signs of being ill. He was out playing and chasing around with the others on and off during the day.

So Monday morning, Chris and I were down the vet with Titch. He’s all sorted now and is fine. It was Colitis… But it’s been a heavy week paying out for the dogs this week!

The Swimming Pool…

Pete was here when Chris and I got back from the vets this morning, working on re-vamping the pool. Chris got straight to work helping him.

Then Trevor arrived to do the garden. We had two holes that needed filling in where our friend’s dog had had great fun digging away last week. So it was all go here this morning.

I had got up early and taken all the relevant tablets to allow me to get dressed and get on the road and keep going… I just hope I don’t suffer with a swollen tummy later! Fingers crossed.

Peace and quiet at home now as Pete has left. The girls are lying quietly. Jazz hasn’t moved off the settee at all yet. Kate has move a couple of times. She’s far more alert and awake. But they are both fine.

Thanks for your kind thoughts and prayers… I know they helped.

Monday, 30 March 2009

Don’t Get This Depressed…

A little guy is sitting at the bar just staring at his drink when a large, trouble-making bikie steps up next to him, grabs his  drink, gulps it down in one swig and then turns to him with a menacing stare as  if to say.  'Well, - whatcha gonna  do about it?'

The little guy starts crying.

'Come on man I was just giving you a hard time',the  bikie says, 'I didn't think you'd CRY. - I can't stand to see a man  crying.'

'This is the worst day of my life', says the little  guy between sobs. 'I've got to admit it - I'm a complete failure - I just  can't do anything right.'

'I overslept and was late to an important meeting,- so  my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car was  stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet  in the cab I took home. I found my wife in bed with the gardener - and then my  own dog bit me. So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an  end to it all. I buy a drink - I drop my capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve - then you show up and drink the lot!  '

To read Jade’s blog about our life, click here…

Thursday, 26 March 2009

The Golfer & The Leprechaun…

A golfer playing in Ireland hooked his drive into the woods.
Looking for his ball, he found a little Leprechaun flat on his back, a big bump on his head and the golfer's ball beside him.

Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle from the cart and poured it over the little guy, reviving him.

'Arrgh! What happened?' the Leprechaun asked.

'I'm afraid I hit you with my golf ball,' the golfer says.

'Oh, I see. Well, ye got me fair and square. Ye get three wishes, so whaddya want?'

'Thank God, you're all right!' the golfer answers in relief. 'I don't want anything, I'm just glad you're OK, and I apologize.' And the golfer walks off.

'What a nice guy,' the Leprechaun says to himself. I have to do something for him. I'll give him the three things I would want... a great golf game, all the money he ever needs, and a fantastic sex life.'

A year goes by and the golfer is back. On the same hole, he again hits a bad drive into the woods and the Leprechaun is there waiting for him.

'Twas me that made ye hit the ball here,' the little guy says. 'I just want to ask ye, how's yer golf game?'

'My game is fantastic!' the golfer answers. I'm an internationally famous golfer now.' He adds, 'By the way, it's good to see you're all right.'

'Oh, I'm fine now, thankye. I did that fer yer golf game, you know. And tell me, how's yer money situation?'

'Why, it's just wonderful!' the golfer states. 'When I need cash, I just reach in my pocket and pull out $100.00 bills I didn't even know were there!'

'I did that fer ye also.' And tell me, how's yer sex life?'

The golfer blushes, turns his head away in embarrassment, and says shyly, 'It's OK.'

C'mon, c'mon now,' urged the Leprechaun, 'I'm wanting to know if I did a good job. How many times a week?'

Blushing even more, the golfer looks around then whispers, 'Once, sometimes twice a week.'

'What??' responds the Leprechaun in shock. 'That's all? Only once or twice a week?'

'Well,' says the golfer, 'I figure that's not bad for a Catholic priest in a small parish.'

To read updates on me, please read my other blog.

Who said the police do not have a sense of humour....

A senior citizen drove his  brand new BMW Z3 convertible out of the  car dealership.

Taking off down the motorway, he floored  it to 90 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through his grey  hair 'Amazing!' he thought as he flew down the M40, enjoying  pushing the pedal to the metal even  more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw  a police car behind him, blue lights flashing and siren  blaring.

'I can get away from him - no problem!' thought the  elderly nutcase as he floored it to 110mph, then 120,  then 130mph.

Suddenly, he thought, 'What on earth am I doing? I'm  too old for this nonsense!' So he pulled over to the side of  the road and waited for the police car to catch up with  him.

Pulling in behind him, the police  officer walked up to the driver's side of the BMW, looked at his watch and  said, 'Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes. Today is Friday and I'm  taking off for the weekend. If you can give me a reason why  you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you  go.'

The man, looked very seriously at the  policeman, and replied,
'Years ago, my wife ran off with a  policeman. I thought you were bringing her back.'

'Have a nice day, Sir,' said the  policeman.

Wednesday, 25 March 2009


A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.

For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking driver said, 'I'm sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me.'

The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn't realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much.

The driver replied, 'No, no, I'm sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab....................


I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years.'

Sunday, 22 March 2009

Have a Laugh…

I  have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take  something for it.

FOLLOW  YOUR DREAMS! Except  that one where you're naked in church.

Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough.

Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole  chicken.

Heaven  is Where:
The  Police are British,
The Chefs are Italian,
The  Mechanics are German,
The Lovers are French and
It's  all organized by the Swiss.
Hell  is Where:
The  Police are German,
The Chefs are British,
The Mechanics are French,
The Lovers are Swiss and
It's all  organized by the  Italians.

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

My  short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to  be.
Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Welcome  to Utah… Set  your watch back 20  years.

In  just two days from now, tomorrow will be yesterday.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

The  statement below is true.
The statement above is  false.

I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other.

I  am a Nobody.
Nobody is Perfect.
Therefore I am Perfect.

KENTUCKY: Five million people, Fifteen last names.

I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.

Dyslexics Have More Nuf.

I  LOVE COOKING WITH WINE…Sometimes  I even put it in the food.

Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?

When you work here, you can name your own salary.
I named mine,  "Fred".

Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.

Red  meat is not bad for you… Fuzzy  green meat is bad for  you.

I am having an out-of-money experience.

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone  rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280 Interstate. Please be careful!"
"It's not just one car," said Herman. "It's hundreds of them!"

I  want to die while asleep like my grandfather, not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

It’s Mother’s Day… Have a good one…

Friday, 20 March 2009

Beware The Grapes of Wrath (Or Your Dog Could Die)

About a year ago, I wrote about this subject. It doesn’t do any harm to remind folks that allowing your pet to eat any of the following could, and often does, kill the animal. I personally know of two dogs that got hold of some grapes and both died. And another two that the owner found while they were eating them and managed to get the dogs to her vet in time to be treated. They were lucky to survive.

The following is taken from the K9 Magazine. Please read the whole article for more information.

The wrath of grapes was, unfortunately, all too familiar for many dogs and cats in 2008 as a US based pet insurance firm released data showing how many toxic claims it had dealt with last year. For many dog owners, they are unaware of which foods can prove toxic to dogs until it’s too late.

VPI pet health insurance analyzed the more than 400 claims it received last year for toxic plant ingestions to find which plants and plant products proved most likely to poison pets. Raisins and grapes topped the list, followed by mushrooms and marijuana. In 2008, the average amount claimed for plant poisoning was $427 (approx £300).

Top Plant Poisoning Claims of 2008
1. Raisins/Grapes
2. Mushrooms
3. Marijuana
4. Lily
5. Walnuts
6. Onion
7. Sago Palm
8. Macadamia Nuts
9. Azalea
10. Hydrangea

“Almost all plant poisonings in pets can be prevented, but prevention depends on knowledge, thus it is important for pet owners to become familiar with which items can be toxic if ingested,” said Dr. Carol McConnell, vice president and chief veterinary medical officer for VPI.

“Prevention is a simple matter of keeping these hazards out of a pet’s environment. To avoid plant poisonings, try not to give a dog table scraps that contain raisins, onions or nuts, and make sure that a new pet is introduced to a backyard free of sago palms, wild mushrooms or other toxic plants.”

Pet owners have good reason to take the threat of grape/raisin ingestion seriously. Even in low doses, ingestion can place pets at risk for acute renal failure. Symptoms include anorexia, lethargy, depression, vomiting, diarrhea and abdominal pain.


Wednesday, 18 March 2009

Video from K9 Magazine…

I just found this interesting video of Ryan O’Meara on his web site. He produces the K9 Magazine.

He is discussing the DDA (Dangerous Dogs Act) on a lot of the clips. I must say that I agree with what he says. It is the people who are at fault, not the dogs.

It is quite long as there are various clips of Ryan being interviewed on various TV programmes at different times.

If you want to keep up with the latest news on Dogs, visit his web site and sign up for his newsletter.

Tuesday, 17 March 2009

Jade’s Diary…

Mother Dear gave us our tea… Something is happening around here, not sure what is going on? May be MD is getting low on dog food? None of our bowls have very much food in them just lately. A bit of the dried food with a spoonful of tinned meat and gravy added. It tastes nice but there isn’t very much of it.

We are thinking of going on strike and begging when the family sit down to eat. This is something we never do normally – beg – but we are getting desperate now.

This shortage of food started the day after MD’s friend Angela visited us the other day. Daddy Dave always gives us a treat after he’s had a sandwich, but even he’s stopped doing this. I heard him ask MD if he could give us the crusts but MD said ‘No! Give them to the birds.’

MD said something like ‘We’ve got to get the weight off these dogs.’ What does she mean? We are not even getting any extra titbits lately. We are going to starve to death at this rate.

Another Unexpected Visitor… The phone rang after we’d settled down for a quick nap after our tea. MD spoke briefly then put the phone down and jumped up and yelled at Chris and Daddy Dave, ‘Vacuum the carpet while I do the kitchen…. Danny’s just down the road…’

Danny And sure enough, 10 minutes later, we heard a car pull up on the drive. It was Danny, MD’s oldest son. He doesn’t often pay unexpected visits as he lives in London. But he said it had been a nice day in London and he just felt like going for a ride. So he drove up to see us.

Danny wasn’t happy when Katie and Jazzy jumped up enthusiastically to greet him. He doesn’t like to get dog hairs on his trousers. Silly man… He should wear his jeans when he visits!

He had lots of news to tell MD. He’s been waiting to run this new pub in London, near where the old one was. He and his friend want to turn an area of it into a some sort of German beer room so they are flying off to Munich on Thursday to visit some. I don’t understand it all… I just lay at MD’s feet listening.

Jazz wasn’t too happy as when I’m on the floor she likes to lie on the settee next to MD, but Danny was sitting there. So she found a small ball on a rope and took it to him. He didn’t take it so she dropped it at his feet. He still ignored it so she picked it up and tried to put it on his knee, but it fell off.

Danny just would not take the hint to either play with her of move so she could lie there or get MD to play. I got up and picked the toy up to help get the message across. We began to play tuggy together. This room isn’t large enough for dogs to play enthusiastically in! So we took the toy to Daddy Dave, who threw it a few times for us to catch… Then MD asked us to lie down and settle…

Early this Morning… MD woke early. I looked up at her and she said she was feeling OK this morning but decided to take a couple of tablets anyway, so she could get back into bed and get a little more sleep.

A couple of hours later she got up and gave us our breakfast. Still hardly anything in our bowls. Then he postman knocked on her bedroom window, as he does when he has a package to give her.

It was two books and a DVD for MD to review for the magazine. One of the books was called ‘Border Collie’… An owner’s guide by Carol Price. MD was delighted and 9780007274291 looked through the book at the photos in it. One looked just like Titch and another looked like Jazz, and another couple looked just like me!

They were photos of Ilona, my litter sister and her two children. We know them well and have had super runs with them when they have been up here to visit. Arun, Ilona’s son looks like Titch and Lara looks like Jazz. MD was very excited and spent the next hour reading the book.

The other book was called ‘Stafforshire Bull Terrier’, an owner’s guide by Alison Smith. MD has never owned one of these, but we had one to stay once. He bit my old Uncle Solo’s nose which MD was not happy about!

The DVD consists of 4 CD’s: ‘Dog Whisperer’ with Cesar Millan. The blurb says it is the complete first season. As MD has watched all the TV programmes she says she won’t have to watch them all as she’s already seen them. If they aren’t she’ll have to spend a whole day watching them! These will be available from DTW. Once MD has written the reviews, they will be added to their web site.

Time for a quick kip on the settee beside Mother Dear so she can publish this for me…

Monday, 16 March 2009

Message From Jade…

Jade Hello Folks. This is me! It’s a picture taken before I got a few grey hairs, but it’s a photo Mother Dear loves. She says I look cute.

Yes… This is me writing to you. Mother Dear gets fed up with trying to write when she isn’t feeling too well. So I thought I’d jump in and tell you about her and my family.

Mother Dear’s Tummy Problems… As some of you know, she gets this dreadful tummy and can get very moody. So long as the human family leave her alone, she can cope, but if they start messing about, she gets a bit snappy with them. Any of us dogs can go Jade's usual position beside me on the soafer. 'Tickle my tum please!'and lay beside her on the sofa and she feels better when she tickles our tummies!

This is me with my tummy exposed waiting for a tickle.

For quite a while now, Mother Dear has been waking up in the early hours of the morning with a bad tummy. This means she has to jump out of bed quickly to get to the bathroom. I always follow her there and lay down beside her to keep her company. We can be in there for up to a quarter of an hour or more. Then, when she feels ‘safe’, as she puts it, she darts back into the bedroom to take some tablets to bind herself.

Sometimes, she only manages to get the tablets out of the draw and out of the packet before she has to run back into the bathroom! Trouble is, the sooner she can take the tablets, the sooner she can climb back into bed and get some more rest. All this can go on for an hour.

This morning, she managed to take the tablets quite quickly, but she still has to wait 20 minutes for them to work. She says she is taking twice the number now for them to have any effect. She hates swallowing tablets… they can make her retch. This sometimes does actually make her sick. Luckily she keeps an old small plastic dog bowl beside her bed and another in the bathroom in case she gets caught unawares! 

This morning wasn’t good. Two hours after the first bad bout, she got another… So the procedure of rushing to the bathroom and back started over again. More tablets were taken. Then she got our breakfast sorted but didn’t have time to put it down for us to eat. We had to wait till she could get back out of the bathroom. Never mid, we were very good and waited.

This was the same yesterday morning. and several times over the last week or so. Good job she didn’t go to Crufts as she was bad most mornings that the show was on. She’d never have coped if she wasn’t at home.

New Bones for Us All… The other day, Mother Dear asked our dad to get us some new stuffed bones to chew. We do love them so. We still like the old ones even after getting all the tasty stuff out of them. Luckily, Mother Dear doesn’t throw Titch getting into his bone. them away. She just puts them in the toy box if we are expecting visitors.

Most visitors arrive with their dogs and they know where our toy box is, so they go and get them all out again!

This is Titch with his bone.

Titch is my eldest son…. He was what Mother Dear called, the runt of the little. If she means he was very small, smaller than the rest, she is right. We didn’t think he’d live… He nearly didn’t, but Mother Dear worked hard on him. Eventually he showed signs of life and has never looked back. He is now the tallest one of all my sons. Daddy Chris (MD’s son), fell in love with him and hid him when people came to take my other babies home with them.

I didn’t mind having puppies, but was glad when MD* took over feeding them for me. I mean, if they can eat on their own, why do they have to sap the life out me sucking on my nipples too? They had sharp little teeth.

Anyway… Titch adores his dad Chris. He follows him everywhere all the time as I do MD.

Jade in front. Titch at the back. Katie standing.

Me in the front with Titch behind and Katie standing looking to swap bones!

We never argue over bones… We just all get up and swap round, then settle on the new bone. MD didn’t get a picture of Jazz, Katie’s sister (both my daughters), as she took her bone off to the other room. She likes to chew in private!

Jazz on Dave's chair.

Here is Jazz sitting in daddy Dave’s chair, keeping it warm for him.

MD kept Jazz… from my last and final litter. She and MD are very close. She doesn’t follow MD from room to room as I do, but she does like to lie where she can see MD. She can hardly lie at MD’s feet as that’s my place.

She and I often take one of our toys and put them on MD’s knee when we want to have a game. We all pick our own toy and MD throws them for us to catch in turn. We are very good and stick to our own, but Katie sometimes gets a bit greedy and jumps in for one of ours. She’s learning as MD teaches her. She was dreadfully pushy when she first came back to live with us.

Well… I just wanted to tell you that the reason MD doesn’t always update her blog is because she isn’t feeling too good. When she’s like this she eats very little which can’t help. She says she just can’t get her brain in gear!

She did manage to get her article written yesterday for the magazine. She says she might put it up here after it’s published.

I’ll sign off now, but I’ll try and write something when MD doesn’t feel like it. I have lots to tell you about myself. I’ve been to a few shows and even went to Crufts one year. That was fun.

* MD – Mother Dear

Sunday, 15 March 2009


The 1st Affair…
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One  day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his shoes and drove home.

'Where  have you been?' his wife demanded.
'I can't lie to you,' he replied, 'I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon.'

She looked down at his shoes and said: 'You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!'

The  2nd Affair…
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son.  They decided to try one last time for the son they  always wanted.
The wife got pregnant and delivered  a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the  nursery to see his new son.

He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen. He told his wife: 'There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?'

The wife smiled sweetly and replied: 'No, not this time!' 

The  3rd Affair…
A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery.  Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever  seen! 'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the mortician  commented, 'I can't allow you to be cremated with such  an impressive private part. It must be saved for  posterity.' So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.

'I have something to show you won't believe,' he said to his wife, opening  his briefcase.
'My God!' the wife exclaimed, 'Schwartz is dead!'

The 4th Affair… 
A woman was in bed with her lover when  she heard her husband opening the front door.  'Hurry,' she said, 'stand in the corner.' She  rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder. 'Don't move until I tell you,' she said.  'Pretend you're a statue.'

'What's this?' the husband inquired as he entered the room.

'Oh it's a statue,'  she replied. 'The Smiths bought one and I liked it so  I got one for us, too.' No more was said, not even  when they went to bed.

Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a  beer. 'Here,' he said to the statue, have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody  offered me a damned thing.'

The  5th Affair…
A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.
'Certainly,  Sir, that'll be one cent.'
'One Cent?' the man  exclaimed.
He glanced at the menu and asked: 'How  much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?' 
'A nickel,' the barman replied.
'A nickel?'  exclaimed the man. 'Where's the guy who owns this place?' 
The bartender replied: 'Upstairs, with my wife.' 
The man asked: 'What's he doing upstairs with your wife?'
The bartender replied: 'The same thing I'm doing to his business down here.'

The 6th & Best Affair…
Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside. He looked up and said weakly: 'I have  something I must confess.'
'There's no need to, 'his wife replied.
'No,' he insisted, 'I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!'
'I know,' she replied. 'Now just rest and let the poison work.'

Saturday, 14 March 2009

An Unexpected Visitor…

The last person I expected to see yesterday was my friend Angela (a vicar). She has one of my dogs from the last litter… Charlie, a red and white collie. She does Obedience and Flyball with him.

The first thing she said when she walked in was that my dogs had put weight on since her last visit a month ago! I hate over-weight dogs… You often don’t notice as you see your own dogs every day.  So, from today, they are all on a diet… Not just mummy dog Jade, who always seems to be a little fatter than I like… Though my vet says she’s fine! I’d rather have them on the lean side than on the fat side.

So new rules around here:

  1. A lot less titbits please.
  2. No left-over food to be given unless I add it to their normal meals and adjust the complete food accordingly!
  3. No falling for soft brown eyes looking at you pleadingly to be fed.
  4. No cheating when I’m not looking.
  5. More exercise for the dogs.

For the last seven years, Angela has been living up the road running a different parish and has now got a job in Scotland. She moved up there at the end of last month. Her and all 10 of her dogs.

One of her dogs – Flite, a lovely bitch – was entered in Breed at Crufts, so she had come back for the show and has been Flite & bone sorting out the old vicarage. 

Flite picked up a third place at Crufts.

Here she is chewing on a bone in my house.

Angela had taken yesterday off to go to her friend Sarah’s to work her two young dogs on sheep. Then popped in to visit me on her way back to where she was staying. She’ll be travelling back up to Scotland next week.

This morning… I woke with a bad tummy (as so often happens these days), and took some tablets to bind me. We were expecting Pete to turn up after ten to fix a small leak we had on a join in a pipe leading up to the shower which he put in a while ago. I did not need to have to kick him out of the bathroom because I needed it!

I enjoy a visit from Pete as he was born and bred in Long Sutton and he knows about everything that is going on around the area. So we get all the latest gossip!

Apparently, there has been a spate of thefts from cars lately. Silly people leaving sat navs and laptops visible in their cars!  More than normal have been broken into. We have a very small police force in this area. I doubt anyone will get their articles returned.

Anyway, Pete fixed the leak and tightened a screw or two. Had a cup of tea, a couple of fags, then arranged when he could come and help get our swimming pool sorted for us.

I managed to dissuade Dave from having a Hot Tub and that re-vamping the swimming pool would be a better idea. Luckily, I won that discussion and we are now putting some heating in the pool. And we are re-lining it as there was a small hole we had to fix each year!  By the time we have done everything, it will have cost nearly as much as a hot tub would have cost!!!

One good thing is that Dearly Beloved did manage – eventually - to get his £500.00 deposit on the hot tub back. That really was pure luck. Normally, a deposit is non-refundable. I think my nagging and teasing was worse to bare than the wroth of the man who took Dave’s deposit! Poor man reluctantly returned the deposit as I think he was sick of Dave nagging him and threatening him with the Small Claims Court!

Pete is off for a short break. He has been very busy lately. Then, if we have everything we need, he’s coming back early next month to sort the pool out.

So I’ve sent dearly beloved on a mission: To get all the things we need to get the pool finished. He hasn’t got the liner or new skin yet. We already have the expensive heater and other odds and sods we need.

I’ve got an article I’ve been asked to write for a magazine, so I must get started.

Have a good weekend Folks… Stay safe.

Simon Sez…

You may have seen this video before… But I just love it. Enjoy…


She'd been taught that housework is a woman's job, but one evening Jenny arrived home from work to find the children bathed, one load of laundry in the washer and another in the dryer. Dinner was on the stove, and the table was set.
She was astonished!!

It turned out that Ralph had read an article that said, 'Wives who worked full-time and then had to do their own housework were too tired to have sex. The night went very well.

The next day, she told her office friends all about it. 'We had a great dinner. Ralph even cleaned up the kitchen. He helped the kids do their homework, folded all the laundry and put it away. I really enjoyed the evening.'

'But what about afterward?' asked her friends.

'Oh, that --- Ralph was too tired.'

God is Good…

Friday, 13 March 2009

An Old Friend Phoned…

Yesterday afternoon I got a very unexpected phone call from a young man I have known for a good number years. I have known him so long that since his mother went back to the West Indies to live in the 1980s, I have called him my adopted son.

Since we moved up to the Fens, I haven’t heard from him, though I did bump into him a Crufts a few years ago.

It all started when Robert arrived at Brixton Dog Training Club with his dog Caesar, a yellow Lab. Then he got Raven, a super black GSD (German Shepherd). 7c80d9ed96baf62d17a8e93ddf044431 We trained Obedience and eventually I persuaded Robert to enter  Open shows and compete. He got his first win under me. I remember it today…Raven did a lovely round.

Robert became interested in Instructing and started his own small club in 1986 in South London. He has a natural ability to put people at their ease and is able to help them get the best out of their dogs.

When the concept of Dog Wardens started, Robert applied to our local Lewisham Council and became their first dog warden in 1990. The stories he told me about the sad cases he came across would make me cry at times. I suggested he should write a book about his experiences. I wrote a few articles for dog magazines about his experiences. I got him judging Obedience at a few shows too, but he doesn’t judge now. He’s too busy.

Robert got interesting in behaviour training and went on every course he could to expand his knowledge and skills. I am very proud that he never stopped learning. Since those days he’s helped a great many people with their dogs.

I was not surprised to switch on my TV one day to watch a new programme called ‘Dog Borstall’ to find that 22a4712bd02b881c8e1b3ffbf4fd36ecRobert was one of the three trainers. I was so proud of him and later searched the Internet to try and find his email address to write and congratulate him.

Here he is with three GSDs. His name is Robert Alleyne.

Back to the phone call… I was really thrilled to hear his voice on the other end. He told me he never got that email I sent a few years ago. I really should have emailed again or put pen to paper and written or just phoned him. Mind you, I didn’t know if he’d moved? If I’d bothered to phone or write I’d have found out that he hadn’t!

We spent an hour and a half chatting about everything. I cried as he told me how he lost Caesar and Raven and I told him about the dogs he knew that I had lost since we last saw each other.

Robert has written a book now. Titled ‘The Trouble-Free Dog’. 9780709085188 To quote from the blurb: Robert…. ‘teaches you how to communicate with your dog. Having acquired this skill, you will then be able to prevent worrying behavioral problems occurring or solve those your dog already has. However, as well as dealing with your pet's psychological needs, the book also covers all the physical aspects of caring for your dog: from maintaining him in good health to the legal responsibilities of being a dog owner. Also included are numerous informative and entertaining case histories which demonstrate the wide variety of problems that can actually occur.’

I haven’t read the book yet but Robert promises to bring a copy up for me when he visits us soon.

You can order the book from Robert Hale, the Publishers. £9.99


Thursday, 12 March 2009

Missing Dog…

Have You Seen This Dog?

There is a dog missing and I am trying to pass the word around. Please visit Shelley’s blog to read more about Jacob.


Hello friends
As you may already know, we have been desperately trying to find our missing dog Jacob, a male Bracco Italiano who has been missing since 21st Jan.
I know you have most probably had numerous emails from either me, or our friends or the Bracco/Spinone groups who are helping in our search, but right now I am writing to you as the focus of our search has changed.
On Monday evening we had a call from a lady on a mobile (number was shown) and who told us they have Jacob. The call was short, as if she was disturbed and had to go.
We have desperately tried in vain to get to speak to the person on the mobile number again, many (many) times and left messages and pleas for this person to get back in touch with us.
I have additionally sent texts to the phone asking for them to let us know he is okay, to take him somewhere 'safe' for us to get him, and asking if it's about reward money.
So far, the phone rings and is aborted to answer phone every time one of us calls.
I am told that hoaxers _do not usually show their mobile number_, it kind of defeats the object of them calling up. Knowing this obviously adds to our concerns for our boy.
We have contacted the police, who seem helpless (or is that unwilling) in being able to trace the callers mobile due to their "certain criteria". This shocking lack of help just makes this all the more upsetting. If Jacob were a motorbike or car, then the 'criteria' would be helpful no doubt.
So, yet again I find I am left with no alternative than to take the matter into my own hands, and therefore I am asking you to email Jacob's details to as many people as you can, and keep an eye out for him in your local area.
He could turn up just about anywhere now.
If you know of rescues (large or small) in your area, can I ask you to please kindly send them the email to make them aware of Jacob's plight.
I have tried to cover all areas but cannot guarantee to know all the smaller rescues that you would be aware of because you live in the area....I need to contact everyone possible.
We all send those chain letter "send to 8 friends" emails round like wildfire, and I hope that we can do the same here but for more of a purpose.
Someone must know about Jacob, and through word of mouth we hope that it can feed back to us of any information of his whereabouts.
We are just utterly desperate to find him as you can imagine.
It's just heartbreaking the not knowing.
I really do appreciate your time is precious, so Thank You for reading this and passing it on to anyone and everyone you feel can help us spread the word.
Kind regards & Thanks
Shelley Haggerwood


Monday, 9 March 2009

My Hospital Appointment…

At last the day of my appointment to see the Consultant has arrived… The appointment was for 10.00am. Not a good time of day for me… Just a little too early without getting up extra early to make myself ‘safe’ to leave the house.

I must have started worrying about it on Friday. And as I’ve said before, stress can bring on a bad bout of visits to the bathroom! I sat watching Crufts live on my PC for most of the day, then in the afternoon all hell let lose, tummy wise. I had to dose myself up and then got such a swollen tummy, I just didn’t feel like eating much. I had had a small pie around midday, as usual then a bit of pasta late. Not enough to keep a mouse alive.

Bad Saturday & Sunday night… I went off to bed and managed to rest and fall asleep for a short while, then woke feeling very sick. So it was trips to the bathroom. Unfortunately, I wasn’t sick. I’d have felt a lot better if I had been! Got up on the Sunday morning and was sick! I felt a little better then, but was dreadfully tired as I hadn’t had much sleep during two nights.

On the PC watching Crufts for most of the two days. My son Danny was coming up on Saturday, but I put him off as I was just not feeling well. I rang him on Saturday morning after Chris, bless him, had done a great deal of extra housework!


I am so impressed with the coverage that the Kennel Club have given. I have managed to see far more of Crufts than if I’d been there all four days, as is usual. As you may know, the BBC pulled out of filming this year. In my opinion, that is the best thing that they could have done. We wouldn’t have had the continual coverage all four days, if they had been there. We’ve never had coverage online before.

The BBC used to get some celeb presenters, half of which didn’t know one end of a dog from another, and film five minutes of this and that. You ended up with four hours on four nights of just a taster of what was going on, interspersed with chit chat as the presenters made sure they had their faces on camera half the time. They were generally asking silly questions that were totally irrelevant and showed their ignorance of dogs.

During the ‘live’ coverage we have had people who knew what they were talking about commentating on the events.

I have paid my £9.99 to be able to watch Video On Demand where I can catch up on all that I didn’t see. I watched  the Main Arena Events ‘live’ for free.  All the Obedience Events were put up the following day to watch V.O.D. So watched some in the evenings.

Back to my problems…

Sunday night I went to bed early... Unfortunately, my tummy woke me unexpectedly at 3.00am. It was twenty past before I could get back into my bedroom to take some tablets to bind me. Then I awoke with a start at 5.30am and had to rush through to the bathroom again! Took a couple more tablets and lay down again. Dave woke me at just gone eight… I hadn’t fed the dogs! He made me a coffee – I fed the dogs – then ran a bath. Then I took a couple more tablets. Oh dear… I am going to suffer with a swollen tummy after all these tablets, but I dare not leave the house unless I feel safe.

We needed to leave by nine to give us time to park up at the hospital and find the right department. Dave went out and warmed up the engine. I let him drive. Big mistake… I’ve not let him drive me for months, and yet again, he’s forgotten how to use the indicators. I so annoys me! Men!!!

I got out at the hospital main entrance and left him to park up. He noticed that someone was about to leave a Disabled spot in front of the hospital, but failed to notice a woman waiting to go in the spot when the car had backed out. I was standing quite near at the main entrance finishing off my last ciggie, so I saw it all.

Dave pulled up behind the car that was about to reverse out which meant the woman waiting was beside him… but she was sort of parked very near the left curb. She didn’t have her indicator on to indicate she wanted to turn into the parking spot when the car came out. So I don’t blame Dave for not noticing her at first. But she then pulled out into the road… Two more cars came up and had to stop behind Dave as there was no longer room for them to drive through. Silly woman!

I saw the reversing lights go on on our car… Luckily, the car behind noticed and also began to reverse slowly as the end car driver woke up and also began to move! Dave had to reverse up a bit to let the car out of the spot!

Then he drove straight in, leaving the poor woman to swear at him from her driving seat! I did feel a bit sorry for her as she had been there first, but you’d never have realised she wanted the parking spot from her position on the road. She had been where people stop to let passengers out of cars.

We went into the Foyer… I asked where my department was. I was told it was at the other end of the hospital. Luckily, we had left plenty of time. Off we set… Dave stopping a couple of times to get his breath back and once for a sit down. Got to the right place to be told I should go back near the main entrance. Here we go…!

We did manage to get back the whole way we had just walked and I booked in. My doctor was running late! What’s new???

Found a couple of seats together. The place was packed out. I got chatting to a lovely lady in her 40s with similar problems to mine. She was with her mother. I did feel for her being so young, with similar problems to me. You sort of expect things to start deteriorating with your body as you get older. I was fit as a fiddle in my 40s, working and training my dogs and walking them for miles. Then competing or judging each weekend and driving all over the UK to where the shows were.

I got a warm welcome from the doctor when it was eventually my time. I was called in an hour and ten minutes late! He actually apologized for the delay and for having to give me such an early morning appointment. He said he’d been worried about me. I’d like to believe he had given me a second thought… but I doubt it with the number of patients he has!

He has recommended that I see a surgeon for keyhole surgery. To put a camera down my throat to see if there is any way to take care of this blockage/constriction. I told him I hadn’t eaten anything other than a couple of small pies over two days. I told him I hadn’t had much sleep either… I don’t think I left anything out. He really did seem to remember what I’d told him the last time I’d seen him… OK. He’d read up on my notes! But it is nice to feel that the doctor does know quite a bit about you.

So fingers crossed I don’t have to wait too long to see a surgeon. I was told it should be in the next 3 or 4 weeks. I do hope so. I really am a little worried about my weight. I am nearly 6 stone. Far too slim for me… I look like a stick woman. Stand sideways and I can hide behind a broom handle!

I promised to let friends know how things went with my appointment. Now I am going back to finish watching the fantastic videos the Kennel Club have done of Crufts. Who knows, may be next year I’ll be able to go again?